The Spiritual Side of Suicide

“I’ve been spiraling for years and I tried to hang myself in my hotel last night.”

That is the title of a message posted on Reddit two weeks ago by a professionally successful, financially secure 45-year-old man in a loving marriage. Here is a link to the original post.

This gentleman is not alone in his suffering.

In its March 2025 report on suicide, the World Health Organization estimates that approximately 720,000 people worldwide die from suicide each year. The WHO further states that suicide is the third cause of death among 15- to 29-year-olds. In the United States, the Minnesota Department of Health states that among suicides, males comprise 80% of the deaths. Statistically, far more men commit suicide than women. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the number one method of suicide is the use of a firearm. The second most common method is suffocation by hanging.

Suicide is a tragic and serious global crisis. And for millions of people, suicide ideation—thinking about committing suicide—is a profound personal mental health crisis.

But suicide is not just a secular mental health crisis. It’s a spiritual health crisis. What drives people to suicide? How does it relate to our spiritual life and health? Can God and spirit give us any help in facing this scourge on human life? In this post we examine these questions, and more.

If you, or someone you know, is thinking about committing suicide, please reach out for help. There are people who love you and care about you, and are ready to help and support you through this difficult time. There are also psychiatrists and counselors who stand ready to provide professional help and guidance. Don’t go it alone. Get the help you need before it’s too late.

Do suicides go to hell?

Speaking of the spiritual side of suicide, let’s get this one out of the way immediately. Some churches teach that people who commit suicide will go to hell.

It’s not true.

Suicide is not a mortal sin. It’s a tragedy. People are driven to suicide by events and feelings that go beyond their own ability to manage them. Overcoming this self-destructive desire usually requires reaching out to other people, and for religious people, reaching out to God. It’s not something we can overcome by ourselves.

Unfortunately, millions of people don’t reach out for the help they need, or if they do, they don’t get the kind of help they need. They therefore go through with it, and many of them succeed.

What happens on the other side is not a one-way ticket to hell, but a re-immersion in whatever issues were driving the person to suicide in the first place. The difference is that there is no further escape through suicide available. Eventually, the person who committed suicide must deal with the issues and emotions that were causing that self-destructive drive.

However, on the other side there will be better help. In the end, it’s not how people die, but how they lived their life, and what’s in their heart, that will determine whether they go to heaven or to hell. For more on what happens after death for people who commit suicide, please see:

Does Suicide Work?

In this post, we address not what happens after death, but some of the spiritual elements involved in a desire to kill oneself while still here on earth.

A recent account of near-suicide

But first, here is the gentleman’s personal account about his suicide attempt, exactly as written in the Reddit thread linked above:

I’m a 45 year old dentist that’s been trying not to prove the suicide myth true. Every day I’ve gotten closer to the noose. I’ve been very successful in some ways – I’m a very accomplished Prosthodontist. I’ve helped many people. Financially I’ve done fairly well. I have an absolutely beautiful wife. I have two beautiful children.

I’ve been passively suicidal since my sister killed herself 12 years ago and actively suicidal for a year. I’m on 3 different anti depressants. I’ve self medicated with shrooms. I’m in therapy.

There is legitimately no reason for me to be depressed or suicidal. My wife has given me no reason to doubt her love but there are days where I feel like she’d be better off with someone else. I have a life insurance policy that’s worth a lot of money and my policy explicitly says that if I die due to suicide she’s still entitled to it. I feel like the money would be more helpful than my presence.

I almost did it last night on my hotel room. I’m out of town – and in my hotel I tried to hang myself from my bathroom door knob with one of my ties. When my vision started to black out, I freaked and unhooked myself. All I could think about was what would happen after and if my wife and kids could ever forgive me for this.

I can’t stop myself from self destructing. I’m sitting in this meeting today and all I’ve been doing is researching ways of offing myself so that I can do it from my hotel room so my family doesn’t have to see my body.

I need help but nothing seems to help me.

I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

His post rapidly received over one thousand replies from strangers offering advice, love, and help. Indeed, he responded thanking everyone for the love they sent to him and telling them in return that he loves them.

One other issue that came out in the comments is that this man had suffered abuse as a child growing up. And he acknowledged some respondents who said that it is selfish to contemplate suicide. We will deal with these issues also.

We are happy to report that two weeks after his close call, this gentleman has not committed suicide. He remains active on social media.

His description of his drive to suicide is illustrative. Materially, he appears to be doing well. He lives a life of relative comfort. He is loved. He loves. He is also smart, witty, and a wonderful writer. And yet, he feels an urge to commit suicide.

Clearly there are deeper unresolved issues in his life. He stated in his responses to people that he was in contact with his psychiatrist, and would be taking further steps once he got home from the conference he was attending. A willingness to reach out for help is the first step toward healing.

What leads to suicide?

This is not the place for a full analysis of all the factors that contribute to people having a strong desire to end their own life. However, even from this man’s single account, it is clear that suicidal thoughts do not just pop up in a vacuum. We do not know the story of his whole life and circumstances, but we do know that he was abused as a child. And we know that his thoughts of suicide started with his sister’s suicide twelve years earlier.

At minimum, for him to find healing from his suicidal desires he will have to unearth and deal with these issues, and any others that are dragging his heart, mind, and spirit down. Unresolved trauma and pain do not just fade away. If not dealt with, they sink deep into a person’s psyche and tear away at the person from within. The desire for suicide may seem irrational and unfounded from the outside. Many suicidal people have lives that outwardly look wonderful! But the reality is that a desire to kill oneself has deep roots. Plucking out the visible factors will not heal the underlying disease. Only digging up the roots will.

That is why strongly suicidal people usually need someone skilled in psychology or psychiatry, or at least a wise and experienced friend or family member, to help them unearth and resolve the roots that feed their seemingly irrational desire to kill themselves.

Once again, if you are contemplating suicide, please reach out for the help you need. It is literally a matter of life and death. You don’t have to die by your own hand. It will be hard work, but there is a path to healing. Through human help and long-term effort, it is possible for you to find your way to a good life without the specter of death constantly hanging over your head.

Is suicide selfish?

So . . . is suicide selfish?

Yes it is, but not necessarily in the way people think. Sure, sometimes people kill themselves to “show” all the people who have hurt them, and to cause them pain. But more often, as in the case of the above story posted on Reddit, suicidal people struggle with the belief that their loved-ones would be better off without them.

Of course, it’s not true. This man himself didn’t think about killing himself until his sister committed suicide. That’s what started him on his own downward spiral. Her suicide made his life far worse—just as it always does for the family and friends of a person who succeeds in committing suicide. No matter how big the life insurance payout might be, the people who love a suicidal person will always far and away prefer the person they love to the monetary payout.

Suicide is not necessarily selfish in the usual sense. But it is definitely self-absorbed. Suicidal people are stuck thinking about their own misery, their own uselessness, their own pain. It’s an inward-focused death spiral around themselves. For those who go through with it, clearly the thought of the misery they would leave behind for their loved-ones and friends was not enough to overcome their total absorption in their own misery.

Even the gentleman who tells this story says, “All I could think about was what would happen after and if my wife and kids could ever forgive me for this.” Not “how it would affect my wife and kids” (though he does talk about that in the discussion), but whether they could forgive him. There is thought of other people here, but it’s about what other people will think of him, not about their well-being.

Here is the spiritual crux. As long as our primary focus is on ourselves, we are on a downward track spiritually—a track that ultimately leads to spiritual death, and sometimes physical death as well. Only when our focus shifts from an exclusive concentration on our own pain or pleasure toward considering the happiness or sadness of others to be at least as important as our own situation can there be any real healing from the scourge of suicide. For a related article, please see the previous post:

The Four Kinds of Love that Drive Human Life

Even if suicidal desires are selfish or self-absorbed, it’s not a simple matter of telling a suicidal person, “Don’t be so selfish!” Moving from a primary focus on oneself and one’s own experience to a broader focus on the well-being of all the people around us is not a simple and quick hop. It’s a lifelong process. In fact, it is the main task we are meant to accomplish during our lifetime on earth. See:

Heaven, Regeneration, and the Meaning of Life on Earth

If you (or someone you know) is suicidal, making the decision to turn the corner and get the help you need is only the beginning of a path toward healing. What comes next, if you stick with it, is a long and arduous process of refocusing your life on greater and higher things. And yes, it may also require facing and resolving traumas from your childhood and adult years.

A life and death struggle

The struggle with suicidal thoughts that many people experience is an expression of what all of us are here on earth to do: make a decision between life and death.

For suicidal people, it is a literal choice between physical life and death. But everyone who reaches adult mental functioning faces an ongoing choice between spiritual life and death.

In plain terms, the purpose of our life on earth is to form the character that we will be, and live out, to eternity. And there are two basic choices: good and evil, also known as heaven and hell. Choosing heaven is choosing to live from love for God and our fellow human beings. Choosing hell is choosing to live from an exclusive love for ourselves and material possessions and pleasures.

Why is this a life and death choice? Because spiritually, a life of mutual love and service to others is heaven and life, whereas a life of mutual hostility and self-serving actions is death and hell. Yes, if we choose evil we are technically still alive. But spiritually we are dead.

Suicidal thoughts are an outward and explicit version of our deeper choice between spiritual life and death. A desire to kill ourselves points to a deeper struggle within. If we can see this deeper meaning of our literal struggle between life and death, we can begin to get a handle on that struggle, and perhaps turn the tide toward winning the battle.

That’s because the forces that push many people toward killing themselves are spiritual, not physical. This is clear because so many suicidal people have an outward life that many materially poor and struggling people would envy! The story of attempted suicide that sparked this post was told by a man who has a good job, a beautiful and loving wife, and two beautiful children. And yet, he still feels impelled toward ending his life. Clearly his struggles are inward and spiritual, not outward and physical.

I should also mention that sometimes suicide is prompted by diagnosed or undiagnosed physical illnesses. If that is the case, then it may be necessary to check into a clinic or hospital for diagnosis and treatment. However, if there are no diagnosable physical illnesses, then it’s back to being a spiritual issue.

This life is a battle between good and evil, life and death. It is not an easy battle. It is one that will require every last ounce of our strength and resolve. And it will require us to turn to other people, and to God, for help. For more on these battles, please see:

What are “Temptations”? How Bad Do They Get?

Seen in this light, suicidal desires are not some weird anomaly in human life. They are a specific expression of the human condition and predicament here on earth. We are all in a battle between life and death. For most of us, it is a spiritual battle. But for some, it is a battle over physical life and death as well.

And we are not the only combatants in the battle.

The role of evil spirits

It is popular these days to believe that each of us is being watched over by guardian angels.

It is not so popular to believe that we are also being harassed by evil spirits. But Emanuel Swedenborg (1688–1772) states it plainly:

We each have at least two evil spirits and two angels present with us. Through the evil spirits we have contact with hell, and through the angels we have contact with heaven. (Secrets of Heaven #697)

And he says:

We each have at least two evil spirits and two angels with us. The evil spirits stir up our evils, but the angels inspire goodness and truth. (Secrets of Heaven #904)

This, Swedenborg says, is where all our thoughts and feelings, both good and bad, true and false, come from. If we were not in the company of these angels and spirits, we would not be able to think or feel anything. We wouldn’t even be able to live. That’s how close our relationship with them is, even though most of us are totally unaware that these angels and spirits are always with us.

I am well aware that in this secular age, many people will not be able to accept this. However, if you can accept it, then it throws a whole new light on evil and destructive thought and desires, such as the desire to kill oneself. These thoughts do not come from our own mind. They are attacks by outside forces. Specifically, it is evil spirits that feed suicidal people their often inexplicable and irrational desire to kill themselves.

In one of his earlier unpublished transitional works, when Swedenborg was still getting his bearings in the spiritual world, he wrote of

evil demons who have a constant craving to torment people, who drive them to do evil deeds, and who continually goad them toward murder and suicide. (The Word Explained #1468)

Later, in an entry in his journal of spiritual experiences about an encounter in the spiritual world with a man who had killed himself, Swedenborg once again referred to the role of evil spirits in suicidal desires:

Someone driven to despair by melancholy in his bodily life was pushed by devilish spirits to the point of killing himself by thrusting a knife into himself. (Spiritual Experiences #1336)

This, Swedenborg explains in yet another place, is something that evil spirits are devilishly skilled at doing:

Evil spirits never fight against anything but what we love. The more passionately we love something, the more bitterly they fight it. Evil demons combat anything good that touches our hearts; evil spirits combat anything true that touches our hearts. As soon as they become aware of something we love, no matter how small, or smell out anything dear and pleasing to us, they immediately attack and try to destroy it. In the process, they are trying to destroy the whole person, because our life consists in what we love. Nothing could possibly give them more pleasure than to destroy us. Nor do they ever stop trying (even if it takes forever) unless the Lord drives them away.

The malicious, deceitful ones worm their way into our central loves, stroking them and so awaking us to them. Once they have done so, they immediately set out to destroy what we love and consequently to kill us, by a thousand bewildering means. (Secrets of Heaven #1820:2, emphasis added)

I have linked the full section, which is considerably longer and more detailed.

This is where suicidal people’s desire to kill themselves comes from. The evil spirits who are with us gain great pleasure from attacking and destroying everything we love and care for—and, if they can, driving us to such depression and despair that we take our own life.

If we can accept that these are hostile attacks from outside spiritual forces and entities, then we can arm ourselves to fight back. If we give the angels who are with us the opportunity, they will defend us from the evil spirits’ attacks, and rescue us.

Since most of us are not aware of the presence of these angel defenders, we give them that opportunity not just by resisting on our own, but by reaching out to people around us who care about us and can help us through our struggles. As we accept outside help from loved ones and from health and psychological professionals here on earth, the angels who are with us can move into our mind and heart more strongly, until they have driven away the evil spirits that have been tormenting us—or at least have blunted their attacks enough that we are no longer in any serious danger of killing ourselves.

And of course, for those who are religious, turning to God in prayer, and for Christians to Jesus Christ, can also be a powerful source of strength in resisting the forces of evil that are arrayed against us and trying to destroy us.

The battle against suicidal thoughts is an especially stark and painful form of spiritual trial and temptation. But really, it is just another element of the human experience here on earth. If you are suicidal, you are not “strange” or “alone.” You are facing the same inner battles that we humans have been facing as long as we have been alive and spiritually aware on this earth.

The path toward spiritual well-being

No matter how bleak life may seem right now, and no matter how strong the drive to commit suicide, there is always a pathway toward greater peace of mind and spiritual well-being. If you are teetering on the brink of suicide, it will not be an easy path, especially at first. It will require hard choices, difficult steps, and serious introspection and honesty about the life events and buried emotions that are pushing you toward self-destruction.

But no matter who you are, there are people who love you and care about you. There are people who are willing to help you fight that battle . . . and win it.

Don’t go it alone. Reach out to someone you know and trust, and tell them about your suicidal thoughts. If you’ve reached a crisis point and you have nowhere else to turn, check yourself into a hospital. Tell them that you’re thinking of killing yourself, and describe to them the specific method you plan to use. This will communicate to them that you are truly at risk of committing suicide.

Reaching out for help is only the first step in your path toward spiritual well-being. Once you have beaten back the immediate urge to kill yourself, you will need to continue doing the work of identifying the sources of your despair, facing them, and going through the grief and the healing required to overcome them.

On the positive side, it is essential to set goals for yourself and adopt a purpose for your life. This will be different for different people. But it must be something that is of benefit not just to yourself, but to other people. What specific work or service can you do that will make other people’s lives better? If suicidal ideation involves self-absorption, the best antidote is getting out of yourself and devoting yourself to loving, helping, and serving other people.

On the physical side, if you’re sitting around all day wallowing in your thoughts, get out and get some exercise! Buy a gym membership, and use it. Take up running or cycling or even vigorous walking. Find a physical activity you enjoy, preferably one that takes you outdoors, and make a commitment to engage in it two or three times a week. The mental health benefits of regular physical activity are well-documented. Don’t be a couch potato! Get your butt off the sofa, and get some regular exercise. It may be hard at first, but before long you’ll start feeling so much better that you won’t want to miss your regular physical recreation.

Final thoughts

Even this relatively long post can only scratch the surface of the issues behind the deadly desire to kill oneself. But we hope what we have covered here will open up a broader and deeper perspective on suicide, whether it is you yourself who are suicidal or someone you know.

If it is someone else who is suicidal, don’t feel that you have to tiptoe around the issue and avoid saying the word “suicide.” It is not rude, and may even save your friend or loved one’s life, if you ask plainly, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” If the answer is yes, your response should not be argument and condemnation, but love and support. And suggestions for where to go to get the help your friend or loved one needs.

If you are the one who is thinking of killing yourself, know that you are not alone. There are people who love you and care about you. The idea that your friends and family will be better off without you is a stinking lie that evil spirits are telling you to get you to kill yourself. Don’t believe them! Instead, believe your friends and family when they tell you that they love you and care about you, and want to help.

No matter how dark things look right now, there is a path toward a better and brighter future, and toward a greater meaning and purpose in your life. Take those first steps. Tell someone about your suicidal thoughts and feelings. Let them help you.

God, the angels, and all the people who love you and care about you want to see you move forward to a better life. Accept their help, take the steps, do the hard work, develop your spiritual life and your relationship with God, and a good, happy, and flourishing life will happen for you.

Here is a shortened video version of this post:

For further reading:

• Does Suicide Work?
• Easter, Resurrection, and the Germanwings Airliner Crash
• Robin Williams, 1951–2014
• If God is Love, Why all the Pain and Suffering?
• What are “Temptations”? How Bad Do They Get?