A reader named “Sister-In-Law” recently submitted a spiritual conundrum in which she describes the situation of her husband’s brother, “John” (not his real name), who is married to a woman who abuses him verbally and physically. The woman has a child from a previous marriage. The two of them also have one child together, and another one on the way.
Here are a few of the relevant pieces of information based on Sister-In-Law’s account:
- John’s wife puts heavy pressure on him to make poor financial decisions and to leave his well-paying job, although she herself is not gainfully employed.
- She is also distant and cruel to their children, and in general is not a good mother to them.
- John is a great guy, but he does have a domestic violence charge against him from his high school years.
Not a pretty picture. But unfortunately, an all-too-common one. Whether it’s a man or a woman dishing out the abuse in a relationship, the result is a lot of terrible pain and suffering, and emotional scars that can last a lifetime.
Based on the situation she describes, here are Sister-In-Law’s questions:
My spiritual conundrum is this: HOW can I convince John, a macho guy who refuses to let anyone help him on small things, that he needs to get help for his marriage, his children, and himself? What can I say to him? How can I pray for them? The last is my biggest hurdle, because these things make me so angry every time I think about them that all I can do is ask God why this is happening. John is a great guy and deserves much, much better than this.
Let’s dig into these questions.
For more on helping loved ones who are in abusive relationships, please click here to read on.













