Can you Fall in Love in Heaven if you Haven’t Found Someone on Earth?

Here is a Spiritual Conundrum submitted to Spiritual Insights for Everyday Life by a reader named Amy:

Lee, do you think we will be able to fall in love in heaven? Let’s say I have never been in love or with anyone on earth, will I still have a chance to be in love with a soul in heaven? Even if it’s with someone I’ve never met here on earth? Thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully respond to my question. God bless.

Thanks for the great question, Amy! There must be millions of other people out there who are wondering the same thing.

So for all you members of the Lonely Hearts Club Band, let’s get to the good news right away:

The answer is Yes!

Wedding Rings

Wedding Rings

If you long for a partner, soulmate, and lover, but just haven’t found anyone here on earth, after you die you will find someone, and will fall in love. And you’ll spend the rest of eternity sharing your life with him or her, growing closer and closer together, and yes, even making love. There is marriage in heaven, and it has everything that marriages on earth have, and more!

So fear not. Even if you may be lonely and longing, if you don’t find someone to share your life with here on earth, you will find that special someone in heaven after you die.

How does this happen?

For that, we’ll turn to what Emanuel Swedenborg (1688–1772) tells us in his book Marriage Love.

Finding a Marriage Partner in Heaven

Here is what Swedenborg says about finding a marriage partner in heaven if you haven’t found one on earth:

For people who long for real marriage love, the Lord provides partners who are similar. If this doesn’t happen on earth, then the Lord provides them in heaven. That’s because all marriages in which there is real marriage love are provided by the Lord.

Here is something I heard from angels about how God provides marriages in heaven:

The Lord’s divine providence about and for marriages is both very broad and highly detailed. You see, all the joys of heaven flow from the joys of marriage love like sweet water from a running spring. For this reason, the Lord provides for marriage partners to be born, and under the Lord’s watchful care they are continually prepared for one another. Neither the boy nor the girl has any idea that this is happening.

After some time has gone by, and she is now a young woman old enough to be married, and he is a young man ready to get married, they encounter one another as if by fate, and notice each other—and they know right away, as if by instinct, that they belong together. The young man inwardly thinks, as if hearing an inner voice, “She is my mate,” and the young woman thinks, “He is my mate.” After this has settled into their minds for a while, they make a point of talking to one another, and promise themselves to each other in marriage.

I say, “as if by fate, instinct, and an inner voice,” but this really means that it happens by divine providence. When we are unaware of the workings of divine providence, it does seem as if things happen by fate, instinct, and an inner voice because the Lord opens up our inner similarities so that we can see them within ourselves. (Marriage Love #229)

Here Swedenborg beautifully describes how couples meet in heaven. And many couples here on earth have the very same experience of meeting one another as if by chance, and immediately knowing in their hearts that they are meant for each other.

God is preparing someone for you

But Swedenborg says something else in this passage from Marriage Love that should be a comfort to all people who are single, and who long for a deep and loving marriage.

It is not just coincidence, fate, instinct, or even an inner voice that brings this meeting about. In fact, Swedenborg says, the Lord provides for couples to be born for one another, and to be raised and prepared for one another the whole time they are growing up.

People who die in infancy or childhood and grow up in heaven meet their partner just as they reach young adulthood and are ready to get married.

However, as many of us know all too well, it doesn’t always work that way here on earth.

  • Many of us get married to the wrong person in our younger years, and have to learn the hard way what it means not to have found our true partner.
  • Many of us don’t find our true partner until we are middle-aged, or even in our elder years.
  • And many of us don’t find anyone on earth at all, but spend our lives longing for love that seems not fated to be ours.

For everyone who is longing for true love, and who struggles with loneliness and even despair about ever experiencing it, this passage from Marriage Love offers a ray of hope and assurance.

You see, no one is born in heaven. Everyone is born to human parents right here on earth. If the Lord provides for marriage partners to be born for one another, this means that those marriage partners are born for one another on earth. And Swedenborg assures us that “the Lord’s divine providence about and for marriages is both very broad and highly detailed.”

The message is clear. Even if we have no idea that it is happening, the Lord has provided for someone to be born who will be our marriage partner—and we will be theirs. And even if we don’t meet that person as a young man or woman the way couples meet in heaven, sooner or later the Lord will bring us together with our eternal partner “as if by fate.”

If that doesn’t happen on earth, Swedenborg assures us that it will happen in heaven.

So as painful and lonely as it can be to go through day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year wishing and longing for our true love, take heart! The Lord has not forgotten you. Even if it turns out that you must spend your life here on earth as a single person, you will not be left out forever. You will find your true love! And you will spend eternity growing more and more in love with him or her as you share your lives together, forever.

This article is a response to a spiritual conundrum submitted by a reader.

For further reading:



Lee Woofenden is an ordained minister, writer, editor, translator, and teacher. He enjoys taking spiritual insights from the Bible and the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg and putting them into plain English as guides for everyday life.

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Posted in Sex Marriage Relationships
153 comments on “Can you Fall in Love in Heaven if you Haven’t Found Someone on Earth?
  1. Bronwyn says:

    Hi Lee, this is a beautiful. Does God only provide one person who can be your spiritual partner out of the billions of people on the earth…hm and in Heaven? If you marry someone who isn’t the person that God wants to give you (for want of a better way of putting it), can you both still grow towards each other and have a good and spiritually happy marriage on earth? thanks, Bronwyn

    • Lee says:

      Hi Bronwyn,

      Thank you. Those are very good—and much debated—questions!

      Some Swedenborg readers believe, based especially on Marriage Love 229 (which is quoted in the article) that there is one and only one person who can be your spiritual partner, and that having a true marriage depends upon meeting and marrying that one person—which, of course, they believe God arranges when the time is right.

      Others point to other places in Marriage Love where Swedenborg speaks of married couples growing more and more like each other the longer they are married, taking on one another’s loves, interests, and beliefs, and habits, and becoming more and more a husband and a wife to one another. So there is also support for the idea that we can grow into being one another’s spiritual partners.

      The experience of many different couples also provides support for both viewpoints. Some say that it was love at first sight, as if they were born and destined for one another, just as Swedenborg describes it in Marriage Love 229. But others speak of growing on one another and falling in love over the years, when at first they either had no interest in one another (or even actively hated each other!) or thought of one another as just friends.

      All of this suggests to me that God works in more complex ways than what we think of when we read that God provides for people to be born and raised for one another. Though I believe that is true, I also believe that God’s takes in our whole lifetime, and everything we experience and decide, in one eternal view, so that for God, it’s not a simple matter of tagging two babies for each other, but rather a knowledge of the course of each of those babies’ lives, and how their experiences will bend toward one another even if they may have started out in very different places.

      So I’ve come to the view that we are both born for each other and grow into one another’s true spiritual partner. That may be difficult to grasp based on our usual earthly, time-bound logic. But both Swedenborg’s statements and our own broad human experience seem to point to this as a “both/and” situation rather than an “either/or” situation.

      I hope that’s not totally confusing!

    • Lee says:

      And yes, I think it’s possible to grow close to someone and have a happy marriage on earth even if they may not ultimately be the one that we spend eternity with.

      Heaven is a well-run place. Things work out there pretty much as they’re supposed to!

      Here on earth though, things are a bit of a mess. Our lives here often get skewed and knocked off track in one way or another, causing us to do things we probably shouldn’t, and marry people who might not be quite right for us.

      In this day and age, when the social and financial consequences of divorce are nowhere near as disastrous as they were two or three thousand years ago (at least, not in the West), I don’t think it’s necessary for people caught in terrible, conflicted marriages to stay in those marriages. However, if a marriage is reasonably happy and loving, even if it may not be perfectly “right,” it’s very possible to have a good life together.

      More than that, being married is one of the most powerful forums for spiritual growth in existence!

      Living at close quarters with another human being day after day and year after year causes us (if we’re willing to grow spiritually at all) to think of another person’s happiness every day, and adjust our feelings, attitudes, and actions to take into account how they will affect someone we care for. There’s nothing better for getting us to look closely at ourselves and fix the parts of us that are broken.

      This can happen even in a marriage that isn’t the “right” one. And that’s why I believe that making a lifetime commitment to our marriage here on earth is still a good idea, assuming that there are at least the basics of a good marriage.

      It’s quite possible that after we die, we will realize that we’re not with the right person. Or we may realize this while we’re still here on earth. It may turn out that we belong with someone else in heaven.

      But even if that turns out to be the case, the experience of having been married during our lifetime on earth, loving another person, and focusing our lives on making someone else happy instead of just tending to our own needs will have prepared us for the life of heaven, which is all about loving and serving other people.

      It will also have helped us to grow into a person who is able to truly love our marriage partner and soulmate in heaven.

      There may be reasons why we simply can’t be with the right person here on earth. In that case, being married to someone who is not exactly right for us, but with whom we can still have a good, happy, and constructive marriage here on earth, is certainly better than going through our whole life on earth single because we never found the perfect match.

  2. Bronwyn says:

    Thank you Lee! Your comments really helped to put some stuff in perspective for me. And they’ve given me a lot to think about. Sometimes I think our children may be here to play a similar role – teach us how to be more unselfish. It can be a beautiful lesson but often it’s a pretty exasperating one! Thanks again and much appreciated.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Bronwyn,

      You’re very welcome. And yes, children certainly do aid in the process of ripping out the ol’ self-centered ego and replacing it with love and care for others—even when they’re driving you crazy! 😉

  3. alectoblack says:

    Absolutely loved this.

  4. alectoblack says:

    Lee, i would like to know somthing. If soulmates can’t be together in earth now can they be together in afterlife. Due to the certain circumstances if we’re forced to marry someone else? And we don’t have a future together in earth is it possible to have a future together in heaven??

    • Lee says:

      Hi alectoblack,

      Thanks for stopping by. Glad you liked it!

      And yes, anything that prevents you from being with your true spiritual partner, or soulmate, here on earth will no longer be a barrier in the spiritual world. The spiritual law is that you will spend eternity with the person that you are one with in spirit, whether or not you were able to get together with that person here on earth.

  5. Babs says:

    Makes perfect sense…Heaven IS love!

  6. ucfministry says:

    Good read…gives a lonely soul a little hope. Do you know if Swedenborg’s writings is based on interpretation of the Scriptures? If it is then it’s a lot more hope.

    Also…do you believe it is possible that sometimes one’s actual soulmate as it were may come and go (live/die) and you don’t even realize it until the Lord springs it on you that ‘the one’ is now in Heaven through the Holy Ghost…I ask because I am closing in on 40 years old and alone…always really have been…and something really odd happened.

    Will share more later possibly…but curious about those questions first.

    Thanks and God Bless.

    • Lee says:

      Hi ucfministry,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and questions. I’m sorry to hear of your loneliness. But if you truly desire a partner to love and be loved by, I believe that God will give you that—if not here on earth, then in the hereafter.

      Swedenborg’s teachings draw heavily on the Bible, and his theology is thoroughly Biblical. However, the Bible does not provide many clear and explicit teachings about marriage. Much of what Swedenborg wrote on that subject was based on his spiritual experiences, and on inner guidance from the Lord. For more on marriage from the perspective of Swedenborg’s theology, please see this article: How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?

      Yes, it is quite possible that one’s soulmate could have already lived and died and now be in heaven waiting. Swedenborg himself was a lifelong bachelor. And there is some indication in his personal papers that late in his life he came to believe that his own true marital partner was waiting for him in heaven. He had a specific highly intelligent and very religious Swedish noblewoman in mind. (Swedenborg’s own family had been ennobled, and those were the circles he commonly moved in.) But she had been married to someone else during her lifetime on earth.

      Not having heard yet the odd thing that happened to you, I will only say that it is good not to close off your options. Perhaps someone is waiting for you in heaven. Or perhaps God has someone in mind for you who is still living here on earth. It is in God’s hands. However, we can certainly prepare ourselves mentally and spiritually so that we are ready for God to bring that person to us when the time is right.

      Of course, I’m not in your shoes. Only you can decide what you will think and which way you will go, based on your own experience.

      At any rate, I hope this is helpful to you.

  7. Lone Wolf Archangel says:

    That was helpful thank you…

    The strange thing that happened is a little odd to say the least…I’m still not sure what to think…just a lot of odd things that fell into place. First off suffice it to say that I always imagined that I would wind up hooked up with a cowgirl…since I am sort of a high tech cowboy myself. lol Has not happened so far but that is key…

    Just before Christmas this past year I was over at the local cemetery putting a little holiday decor over on the family’s plots…put out some of those solar LED lights…makes it look a little less gloomy. While I was there I noticed someone had been recently laid to rest right next to my peoples’ spots. I seen only that it was a 30 year old woman. Much too soon to be cut down. Did not know her from Adam. Still bothered me a bit to see someone that young cut down in their prime.

    I’ve seen dozens of folks buried and I didn’t give it a second thought ever outside of hoping that they know Jesus…but this time my curiosity got the better of me and I checked local obit records and I found out more about this person…and that is where things got weird…found out who she was, what she looked like, and a few of the highlights of her life here on earth. I remember seeing she was a single mom too and it really bugged me that her boy would have to go through life without his mom…I am 37 and I lost my mom at 34…I got to grow up with her…it nearly killed me inside to lose my mom…so I guess it was empathy. Knowing how it will feel…

    Well I didn’t know this person from Adam as I said. But the longer I sat there reading and seeing her photo it was like I DID know this person and it bothered me as though I had lost one close to me. She looked familiar. Well I ended up putting a solar light by her freshly installed headstone…that was adorned with cowboy boots.

    Like I said. Seen probably 100 graves of strangers I never knew personally…just a common hope that Jesus was their Lord & Savior. I don’t know if this was just coincidental…which by the way I don’t believe in quinky dinks…projecting my solitude onto folks…or if possibly on a spiritual level there was more going on. I’m not the most empathic guy on earth but…it just really struck a chord in my core. Not saying that I found my dead soulmate or anything…but…did I know something spiritually I don’t/didn’t know in the conscious sense? Does ANY of this make ANY sense to you at all? Because I have so many questions and coming up short on answers.

    So now whenever I am there talking to the wind to my people…I am talking to a gal I didn’t know from Adam until she was already gone.

    I hope I don’t come off as a nutball here. lol

    Appreciate your listening.

    • Lone Wolf Archangel says:

      Guess that one weirded folks out. lol …I’m not a necromancer believe me…I just never had an empathic reaction such as that before and I still wonder if it has any underlying meaning.

      God Bless.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Lone Wolf Archangel,

      Don’t worry. I just haven’t had a chance to respond until now. And I wanted to ponder it a bit rather than shooting from the hip as soon as I read your story.

      Over the years, both before, during, and after the time I was pastor of a church (for ten years), I’ve heard many stories of people’s spiritual or “unusual” experiences. And yes, some of them do sound a bit strange. But it’s not my place to judge the validity or reality of someone else’s experiences. I believe that God and spirit do work in our lives, and sometimes give us experiences that can’t easily be explained in the usual (material and scientific) ways. If nothing else, I believe those experiences are meant to remind us that there’s more to life than this material world.

      So I would never say that this experience of yours makes you a nutball or a necromancer or anything like that.

      I also can’t tell you what your experience means, because experiences like this are very individual. They draw on exactly who you are, and your experiences, and all the different thoughts, feelings, and associations that you as a unique individual have. So the meaning of your experience is something you’ll have to ponder over time.

      What I would say is that although it could mean that this woman is your soulmate, that’s not necessarily what it means. It could simply be God giving you a signal that he’s thinking of you, and knows of your loneliness, and has someone in mind for you, whether or not it turns out to be this particular young woman.

      Whatever its meaning, I do think this experience of yours was a spiritual gift, meant to lift your spirits, and open your mind to possibilities you might not have considered before.

      Beyond that, I would only suggest that you keep on with your life, doing your work and loving and serving your neighbor in practical ways, as Jesus commands us to do. People who have these spiritual type experiences become “nutballs” only if they lose touch with practical reality here on earth, and go off on a flighty tangent in which their life becomes so focused on their spiritual experience(s) that they forget that they have a life to live here on earth, which is preparing them for their eternal life in heaven.

      It’s not an accident that God puts us on earth first, and gives us pragmatic, practical work to do during our lifetime here. Serving our neighbors in practical ways day in and day out is what trains and outfits us to be angels in heaven—who think more of loving and serving others every day than they do of their own self and their own pleasures. Though they do have many personal pleasures, serving others is what gives them their greatest happiness and joy. See my article: Who Are the Angels and How Do They Live? and also: What Does Religion Have to Do with My Profession and My Daily Work?

      So my $0.02 is: You’re not going crazy. God simply gave you a gift and a reminder that there’s more to life than what we see on this earth. And that’s a gift you can carry with you and ponder as you go about your daily rounds.

  8. VeryTrue says:

    You would without a doubt really find it their if Not here.

  9. Bob says:

    There is no marriage in heaven:

    Mat 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Bob,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment.

      In heaven, there is no marriage as Jesus’ questioners (the Sadducees) thought of it: a social institution in which women are married off to men in a very unequal relationship in order to produce male heirs for them and to provide labor.

      Marriage as we increasingly understand it today—an equal partnership and spiritual union between two people based on love—did not exist in Jesus’ day. In fact, it didn’t exist at any time in recorded history up until a few centuries ago. Jesus was not talking about marriage as we understand it today, but as the unequal social and business relationship between two (or more) people that was “marriage” in earlier times, in which the men were the boss and the women were underlings whose primary purpose was to produce male heirs for their husbands. The Sadducees’ question to Jesus in Matthew 22:23-31 based on the law of levirate marriage makes it clear that this is what they thought of as “marriage.” And as Jesus said, the “marriage” they were talking about does not exist in heaven.

      Other passages in the Bible make it clear that marriage is a relationship created by God, and that married couples are joined by God. What God joins together is not temporary, but eternal.

      For more on this, see the section titled “Is there marriage in heaven?” in the article: How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?

      Edit: I have since written a series of articles specifically about Jesus’ statement on marriage in the resurrection, starting with this one: “Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?

    • Teresa Trotter says:

      Finally a voice of reason. People will make up just about anything so the Bible can say what they want it to say. The only marriage in heaven will be between Jesus and the believers. Thanks for posting this scripture.

      • Lee says:

        Hi Teresa,

        Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment.

        However, you are mistaken. Jesus did not say there is no marriage in heaven. He said that people don’t get married in the resurrection. There’s a big difference! See:

        Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?

        Also, the Bible never says that Jesus will be married to individual believers. Only to the people of God as a whole, commonly known as “the church,” but including all believers together as a body.

  10. Brad says:

    I have a question on this. What if you did get married in this life, she left you for someone else, and the one that God has for you married someone else in this life, what happens after this in heaven? Thanks, just trying to understand it all…..

  11. Carol says:

    Okay here goes. I am 66 and the man I love is only 31 years old. I have never felt this way about anyone. I have been without a man since my early 20’s. We kept being pulled innocently together for one reason or another. In the beginning I would have thoughts of him for no apparent reason. Not love at first but endearing thoughts and curiosity to know more about him. He has always felt like a missing piece in my life from the start. All that I was going through with my thoughts and feelings he was experiencing as well. Our minds says one thing and our hearts says another. I had often wondered why I stay so young looking. Maybe it was meant to be that way. I look decades younger than I really am. He does not look older but very mature looking which gives an older affect to him.

    He does not want to let go. I on the other hand do not find it easy to let go. Because of our age difference I think I will have to let him go. My heart says no way in God’s kingdom should I do that. He is my soul mate. He cries if I suggest we should go our own separate ways. I enjoy his company immensely. He is funny, caring and giving. He has a soft heart. He is a perfectly respectful and thankful individual. We are physically attracted to each other. We both have well kept bodies.

    I think what I am asking is, is it possible that we were designed, designated or meant for each other? That our timing to be born was an accident? Our feelings for each other seems fused together beyond the physical realm. If need be I would give my life for him if it meant that he was safe and healthy. He is just as protective of me. I am not an old woman with money. I haven’t enough money to buy a young man that is well able of taking care of himself. Besides there is no way to fake the kind of love we have for each other. Sorry to be so long winded. I just wanted you to understand our relationship a little.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Carol,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for telling your story.

      Obviously I can’t tell you what to do. This is a very personal decision, and one that only you—and he—can make.

      I’m sure you’ve already thought through all the issues of social resistance to marriages with such a major age difference, the probability that he will outlive you by two or three decades, and so on. And yet, these are material-world and social concerns, whereas at its core marriage is (or should be) a spiritual relationship. (See: “How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?”) You and he will both have to weigh out in your mind and heart the various this-world objections over against the strength of the sense of oneness between you.

      I would not advise you just to give up and walk away. Clearly there is something powerful happening. I would also not advise you to ignore issues that might make the relationship difficult. Perhaps the very testing against all of the adverse external factors is what’s needed to determine whether the relationship is or is not a solid one at its core.

      I will say that in the spiritual world, such age differences will quickly fade into insignificance. Certainly being born in different time periods does have some effect on our character due to differences in culture and upbringing. But those differences can be bridged when there is a strong inner connection between people. In the spiritual world, we all grow young in body, and differences in earthly circumstances fade away. On the body side of things, please see the recent article, “Will My Body be the Right Weight and Appearance in the Afterlife?

      Once again, this is a decision only you and he can make. I hope these thoughts—and the linked articles—are of some help as you ponder it in your mind and heart. Give it the time it needs to unfold. Give your heart and your mind time to come together and make the best decision. And may God help and support you as you consider your next steps.

  12. Ashley says:

    Is it a given that we will find our partner in either this world or the next? Or are some of us doomed to spend eternity without a mate? I ask because its really hard for me to talk and open up to people I’m vary shy and lack confidence in myself. will I be the same way in the next life? How can you believe anything Swedenborg said? How do you know if he was telling the truth and wasn’t hallucinating?

    • Lee says:

      Hi Ashley,

      Thanks for your comment and questions. In case you haven’t yet seen it, please see my response to your earlier comment here. There, I responded to your question about whether we can believe what Swedenborg said. Clearly, I think he is trustworthy. He was a good man, and contributed usefully to his community and his country throughout his life, including during the three decades he was having his spiritual-world experiences. But as I said in the other comment, you’ll have to make up your own mind about that based on whether you find what he wrote to be believable, and whether it has the ring of truth for you.

      According to Swedenborg, the Lord provides marriage partners for everyone who longs for true love. It doesn’t always happen in this life, unfortunately. But if it doesn’t happen here, it will happen in the afterlife, where everything becomes much clearer, and where the limitations of this earth are taken away.

      Dying and going to the spiritual world doesn’t really change who we are. If you are shy in this life, you will likely still be shy in the other life. However, if that shyness is due to some physical disfigurement or some ill-treatment or difficult life circumstances growing up, those external factors will be removed, and you will be able to overcome at least some of your shyness.

      However, shyness is not necessarily a negative. It can also be seen as being an introvert. And introverts can make great contributions to society. Introverts often have very good focus and concentration, and are able to take on jobs that require that sort of mind—jobs that extroverts simply can’t do because they’re too busy engaging in the social whirl. There is a reason God created some of us extroverted and some of us introverted. The world needs all kinds of people to get done the things that need to get done. Computer programmers, for example, are essential to today’s society. Yet many of them are very introverted, and socially awkward. Classic “nerds.” 😉

      And though being shy and introverted can make it difficult to form relationships, it is not impossible. My suggestion is to do the things you love to do and are good at doing, and that contribute in some way to your community and to society—even if it may be in the background, and in ways most people don’t see. In the course of following your loves and adding your particular piece to society, you’ll tend to meet other people who are interested in the same things, and who have personalities compatible with yours. And even if you don’t, you can take satisfaction in making your contribution to society.

      Developing your own skills and abilities and putting them to use in constructive ways is also a good way to build up your own self-confidence. When you know you have something to contribute to society, you can feel, rightfully, that you are a good and valid person who has something valuable to offer to the world. Even if you may be doing it in a room by yourself or in a small, isolated cubicle, you will still be contributing, and you can still take satisfaction in knowing that your work is benefiting other people.

      In other words, developing your own self and your skills and abilities to contribute to society in your own unique way is also the best way to move toward a sense of self-confidence—and, perhaps, toward meeting a compatible person who has feelings about life that are similar to your own.

      I hope this helps. Feel free to continue the conversation if you have further thoughts or questions.

  13. Ashley says:

    Will our inner person and character be on display for other potential mates to see, and not just our physical and emotional state in the afterlife. I’m just worried no one will want my and i’ll lose out in the end. forever being lonely.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Ashley,

      In the afterlife, after an initial period of adjustment, your inner person and character will show in your face, body, words, and actions. Before long, we are no longer able to pretend to be something we are not. Whatever we think and feel, that’s what we’ll say and do—though it is still possible to stop ourselves from saying and doing things. We just can’t say and do things that are contrary to what we actually think and feel anymore.

      So yes, your inner person and character will be “on display” in the sense that whoever you actually are inside, that’s what you’ll express outwardly in your interactions and relationships with other people. It will therefore be clear to others what kind of person you are.

      You strike me as a good person who simply has some fears and issues in life. I believe there will be someone out there for you, even if it may be hard for you to believe. God doesn’t create any useless people. God has something in mind for you.

      Once again, my suggestion is that as best you can, you don’t think so much about what people will think about you, and focus more on developing yourself as a person: pursuing your skills, your work, your interests, and continuing to get better at whatever your work is, or at your studies if you’re in school. Focusing on becoming your own best self is the best way to ensure that there will be someone out there who will see your particular good qualities and will love you for who you are.

  14. Ashley says:

    1 Corinthians 7:7 Paul says it’s good to stay unmarried, why would he say that if there is marriage in heaven? He himself was never married.

  15. Ashley says:

    My priest say that Swedenborg was a heritic, that there will no longer be a need for marriage and thus sex in heaven because there will no longer be a need for procreation. And his views on the trinity of god a heretical. I hope he’s wrong about marriage in heaven and Swedenborg was right.

    He also says Swedenborg was probably communicating with demons, and Its dangerous to believe one mans views and not the church’s doctrines.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Ashley,

      Catholic priest? I’m not surprised he thinks Swedenborg was a heretic. After all, Swedenborg laid the ax to the root of the tree of traditional Christian doctrine. He started by rejecting the doctrine of the Trinity of Persons, which is not in the Bible, but became official church doctrine only at the Council of Nicaea in 325 AD. For more on the Trinity and Swedenborg’s view of it, please see:

      Put simply, Swedenborg said that traditional Christianity, Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox, is dead wrong about the Trinity of Persons because they have completely misunderstood and misinterpreted the Bible. So naturally their priests and ministers don’t like Swedenborg very much. 😉

      You’ll have to make up your own mind.

      I am aware that Catholicism and much of the rest of Christianity thinks that the main purpose of sex and marriage is procreation. But that, in my view, is a very shallow view of marriage.

      Anyone who has been in a good and loving marriage knows that there is far more to it than having babies. It is a relationship in which people grow emotionally and spiritually, and learn what it truly means to love one’s neighbor as oneself. For more on the issue of whether there is marriage in heaven, please see: “How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?

      And yes, according to Swedenborg, he did communicate with demons. However, he did so under the Lord’s protection, in order to learn what demons are like, and what their life is like in hell. And he warned against seeking contact with spirits, because it can be quite dangerous to one’s spiritual life. See: “What about Spiritualism? Is it a Good Idea to Contact Spirits?

      Swedenborg said that he communicated not only with demons, but with good spirits and with angels:

      I testify in truth that the Lord manifested himself to me, his servant, and assigned me to this task; after doing so, he opened the sight of my spirit and brought me into the spiritual world; and he has allowed me to see the heavens and the hells and to have conversations with angels and spirits on a continual basis for many years now. (True Christianity #799)

      But then he immediately went on to say:

      I also testify that ever since the first day of this calling, I have accepted nothing regarding the teachings of this church from any angel; what I have received has come from the Lord alone while I was reading the Word.

      In other words, though he did speak with angels, spirits, and demons for many years, that’s not where his teachings came from. They came from the Lord while he was reading the Bible. And if you read his writings, you will see that he quotes the Bible extensively to support and illustrate his teachings.

      Once again, you’ll have to make up your own mind about these things. But for more on Swedenborg and his teachings, please see: “Do the Teachings of Emanuel Swedenborg take Precedence over the Bible?

      • Foster Caldaroni says:

        Why does god screw some people and make them celibate for all eternity. I watched a YouTube video called offthelefteye about marriage in heaven and they mentioned that some people will be celibate. How is that fair to those individuals?

        • Lee says:

          Hi Foster,

          Thanks for stopping by, and for your question.

          Without knowing which video you watched, I can’t comment on it. If you can post a link to it, I’ll take a look.

          However, Swedenborg’s teaching is that those who have committed themselves to celibacy so deeply that it has become a settled part of their character that they do not want to give up are allowed by God to live a celibate life on the borders of heaven. It’s not something God imposes. It’s something that some people who have taken vows of celibacy continue to choose for themselves after death. Others, upon being released from their vows of celibacy after death, do go on to get married and live happily with their husband or wife to eternity.

          Either way, it is the person’s own choice.

    • Ray says:

      To add on to Ashley’s comment, are you saying there are shy angels in Heaven, who maybe keep to themselves more, and focus on their work and pleasures? Would having a partner in Heaven change that?

  16. Foster says:

    So it’s a choose and not imposed on individuals. Why would anyone want to live alone for all eternity?

    What happens to someone that wants a marriage but can’t find someone compatible with them or that wants them?

    • Lee says:

      Hi Foster,

      They don’t live alone. They live with others who have chosen a celibate life. Similar, I presume, to living in a monastery or convent here on earth.

      In answer to your second question, God foresees, arranges, and provides partners for all people who want a loving marriage.

      • Ray says:

        Is that one of the communities in Heaven then? A celibate community? Are there angles that want to have love and sex in Heaven and angles who are asexual and just want to find love. I assume asexual or celibate angels will be paired together while those that want to have sex will be paired together.

        • Lee says:

          Hi Ray,

          According to Swedenborg, all Catholic priests, monks, and nuns, and people of other churches and faiths who have taken vows of celibacy on earth, are released from those vows in the spiritual world. Some of them go on to get married and live with their husband or wife to eternity. Those who choose to remain celibate because it has become an indelible part of their character and self-image, but who still have a good heart, will, he says, live in communities of celibate angels on the outskirts of heaven. On the outskirts because the atmosphere of celibacy conflicts with the atmosphere of heaven, which is one of marriage and its joy.

          Such celibates are not paired together with anyone. They have rejected that sort of pairing. Just as in monasteries here on earth, they live communally with others who have similarly taken vows of celibacy, and have chosen to remain celibate even in heaven. They can have a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood there that is very satisfying to them. But it is still a relatively dry life compared to the main body of heaven, in which people live in a married state.

        • Ray says:

          On the outside of Heaven, which is one of the milder Heavens?

        • Lee says:

          Hi Ray,

          Presumably on the edges of some of the lower heavens. The higher heavens are fully engaged in marriage love in its highest form and at the angels’ deepest levels. Having people there who think that celibacy is superior to marriage would be especially disturbing to the atmosphere of the angels who live in the higher heavens. Plus, being celibate is a rather intellectual exercise based on religious dogma. This in itself would tend to exclude people who practice it from the highest heavens, which are all about love.

        • Ray says:

          And what about asexuals? People who just want romantic love but have no interest in sex?

          Also, I never would have thought those that were celibate would think it is superior. It’s just not for them.

        • Lee says:

          Hi Ray,

          In general, people are free to be themselves in the spiritual world. In heaven, especially, no one is forced to do anything he or she doesn’t want to do. People who have no desire for sex won’t have to have sex if they don’t want to. However, I suspect that for most of them the lack of interest in sex is either psychological or hormonal in origin, and that this will be sorted out in the afterlife.

          As for celibacy, the Catholic Church does consider it to be a better and more spiritual state than marriage based on a few statements in the New Testament (which they have mostly misinterpreted). That’s why they require their priests to be celibate.

  17. Foster says:

    “Mat 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven”

    How does Swedenborg explain this verse? Especially this part of the verse “For in the resurrection they neither marry”

    Doesn’t that seem like a pretty cut and dry statement to you?

    • Lee says:

      Hi Foster,

      It’s a good question.

      I talk about it briefly in the article, “How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?” I encourage you to read the whole article. But I do take up that statement specifically in the section titled, “Is there marriage in heaven?”

      Of course, that’s just a very brief consideration. There’s plenty more to say about that passage, and I’d be happy to talk to you about it further in the comments section of that article if you’re interested.

  18. Foster says:

    Should I just ask the same question over there?

  19. Foster says:

    Hi, I read the article. it seems to be talking about marriages continueing in the after life. What about people where never married or divorced. Jesus own words say they don’t marry. So that would seem to me that marriage isn’t allowed in the afterlife. Maybe he only allows marriages to continue that began in this life? but if you die unmarried you stay that way? is that what jesus was saying? That doesn’t seem fair or just for people that would like a wife or husband but for whatever reason couldn’t find one. i get the concept of forced marriage practiced in the past, but why wouldn’t jesus just say they aren’t given in marriage. if what Swedenborg says is true? why would he add they don’t marry?

    • Lee says:

      Hi Foster,

      About people who never married, or married and divorced, or were married multiple times, see these articles:

      About “they neither marry nor are given in marriage,” the Greek words there are verbs that refer to the act of getting married, rather than the state of being married. And the doubling probably refers to the man “marrying” and the woman “being given in marriage” (by her father or other male relative). So once again it’s talking about the act of getting married. And according to Swedenborg, though there are weddings in heaven, the people getting married don’t actually move into their permanent, eternal home in their own community in heaven until after they get married, when they move in together. So Jesus’ words can also be understood as meaning that the act of getting married occurs before people “go to heaven,” meaning before they go to their eternal home in heaven.

      However, you’re the second person today who’s asked me about this (see the other comment and my reply here). So it looks like I might just have to write an article about it. 🙂

    • Lee says:

      Hmm, I just realized that the first link I gave is to the above article! Oh well! 😛

      • Foster says:

        And according to Swedenborg, though there are weddings in heaven, the people getting married don’t actually move into their permanent, eternal home in their own community in heaven until after they get married, when they move in together. So Jesus’ words can also be understood as meaning that the act of getting married occurs before people “go to heaven,” meaning before they go to their eternal home in heaven.

        But isn’t Jesus wording “in the reserection they nighter Marry nor are given in marriage” when you die aren’t you in the reserection. Why wouldn’t jesus clarify if marriages did in fact occur in the hearafter?

        • Lee says:

          Hi Foster,

          Prompted by a number of questions on this topic, I’m working on a major article dealing with Jesus’ statement about marriage in the resurrection. I’m going to hold off on further replies in anticipation of publishing that article within the next week.

        • Lee says:

          Hi Foster,

          I have now published the first of three planned articles on Jesus’ words about marriage and the resurrection: “Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?” The other two articles will follow in the coming weeks.

  20. Ramona Katherine Ray says:

    wow, this gives me hope. I thought that the young man that I met when I was 18 was my soul mate, but fate and another woman changed this, I have loved this man all my life, and am now 66 years old, and he is now a widow. But he still mourns his wife, and is perfectly happy now as a widower. His sisters encouraged me when I was younger to seek him out and again they told me about his wife dying, its now been three years since she passed. I live an hour away from him, but i live with a young man, in a platonic situation where I am his mentor. Plus, it is not safe in Mexico for single women no matter what age, to live alone. I am no longer sure if Packo is my soul mate, as if he were I would think he would feel the same about me, and I now think that it is not so. I know that there are people who marry for life and have deep abiding love for one another such as my Aunts have had with their husbands here on earth. So, when I texted the question in the search engine it was sort of as a wishful thinking question, and I did not expect any answers, especially from a Christian source. Thus, this was heartening to read and I am grateful for your information. Thank you.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Ramona,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment. I’m glad this article has given you some new hope for your eternal future. Only God knows who you will finally be with—whether this man that you were attracted to as a young woman or someone else. But there is someone waiting for you. Of that I am certain.

      Meanwhile, Godspeed on your spiritual journey!

  21. Jack says:

    What if I want my wife to be pure? Do you think God will provide that for me?

    • Lee says:

      Hi Jack,

      What do you mean by “pure”? Are you “pure” yourself? If you want a pure wife, whatever that means to you, then it is important that you yourself be pure also.

      Whatever it is that you want God to provide for you in a wife, the most important thing is that you yourself be that way as well, so that you can be a proper match and a good husband for her. And if you are not that way now, then you’ll have to do the work to become that way. God won’t provide something for you if you aren’t willing and able to do the work required to have and hold it.

      Of course, if by “pure” you mean “a virgin,” and you are no longer a virgin yourself, then it’s too late for that particular wish. It isn’t reasonable to require your future wife to be a virgin if you aren’t one yourself. That sort of sexual double standard belongs in the past, not in the present. (And it was never right anyway.) If you have already lost your virginity, you could certainly commit yourself to no longer engaging in sex until you are married. But once your virginity is gone, you can never get it back. And you can’t hold your future wife to a standard that you didn’t maintain yourself.

      However, if you have maintained your own virginity because that’s something you value, then it is reasonable to hope that you would find a wife who shares that same value, and has maintained it. Even in this day and age, there is still something sweet and beautiful about two people entering into their first experience of sexuality and love together as a newly married couple.

      In the end, though, what’s most important is that you find a wife who is the right match for you. And if you long for that, and do the work to make yourself into a man who can be a good match for that woman, then I do believe that when the time is right, God will provide you with the woman who is right for you.

      • Jack says:

        I am still a virgin and waiting for marriage. But how will I know when the time is right? Do I go out looking for a suitable partner, or will she look for me?

        • Lee says:

          Hi Jack,


          And people find their partners in all different ways. There’s no telling how you’ll find yours. But my main suggestion is that you throw yourself into good, healthful, and useful activities that you enjoy. One great way to find someone who matches your character and personality is to express your character and personality through your activities. That will bring you together with people who love and enjoy the same things you do.

  22. This article is so untrustworthy! You don’t mention ONE single Scripture, but rely on some random writer who may have heard from “angels” – not even from Jesus.

    You make some arguments, and I can’t say if you are right or wrong as it does make sense. But it’s one big guess you are putting forward as you don’t support it with actual Bible passages.
    So all this is not neccesarily true, although it’s a sweet little thought.

    • Lee says:

      Hi benjamin,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment.

      This particular article doesn’t provide Bible quotes, but others on this subject do. See, for example: “Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?

      Beyond that, believe it or not, the Bible is not actually the best source of information on all subjects. The Bible’s primary purpose is to deliver a message from God to us humans here on earth about God, spirit, and how we can attain eternal life. While it talks about many other things along the way, saving our souls is its primary focus. It does not attempt to fully inform us about every subject under the sun. That would only dilute its main message.

      The reality is that there is very little direct teaching in the Bible about marriage. There are a few scattered verses here and there, some marriage advice in Paul’s letters, and a lot of stories that involve married people, such as Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, and Jacob and his two wives. But the Bible does not offer a comprehensive explanation of the nature, source, and purpose of marriage. So although we can gain some valuable insights about marriage from the Bible, the Bible simply isn’t a manual on marriage. It’s a book whose purpose is to reach us with God’s message of eternal salvation.

      God gave us no commandment in the Bible saying, “Thou shalt not learn anything from any source other than the Bible.” The Bible writers themselves learned things from many different sources, and God used their knowledge in composing the stories, poetry, prophecy, and teachings contained in the Bible.

  23. Kimberly says:

    What if you married someone who turned out to be abusive and seems like an unbeliever and you are still married to them but are longing for the mate God wanted you to be with instead of this mate. Will you get that in Heaven if you are still married to the wrong person when you leave this life?

  24. Foster says:

    You say that we are seperated from people based on personality, does that mean i could never see my brother again? He and I are completly differnt people in character and personality.

  25. Hurley Combs says:

    I’ve been reading through the comments and it feels like you respect people even if they don’t agree. If it seems like I am trying to contradict you I don’t mean to, I just always strive to discover the truth and it feels like you might have some insight in this instance. I have lived life together with Christ (around age 5 I believe I got saved, hard to remember exact age when you are that young). In regards to that I believe that I know myself fairly well. I myself am an introvert diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (or the politically correct Highly Functioning Autistic Person). From what I view of the world it is so dark that I tend to have a habit of trying to escape from this world when I want to relax (through books, movies, ect). People say that love can’t be rational and yet through being able to see my own flaws and know how a person would be able to compliment me as a couple I strived to try and find a person who would be my soul mate in what ways I could. In a way I both succeeded and failed. Through watching an anime that I enjoy I found a character that I still honestly believe would be able to fully understand me and I could also fully understand them (given enough time). At the time I didn’t give it much thought as it wasn’t a time in my life to be searching for a partner. In time I found a person who carried some of the important aspects of the character, but things didn’t really go past friendship. Some more time went on and I started having dreams of the character (I can understand that dreams can be seen as no big thing, but these dreams felt more real than most dreams that I have). At first it was just a meeting and there was a part of me that didn’t want to leave her. More dreams came and went and it felt like a real relationship between me and this character. We built things together, went on picnics, even went to a dance and talked about the future. There were even times when I was extremely upset and she was there to comfort me. I know it is quite unusual, but if I didn’t mention that all of this was happening while I was asleep it would sound like a relationship in real life and that was how each one felt. In this world I can’t fully understand God’s ways but I can say that as a result of everything that has happened there is a longing to be with this person and it feels like there is not much time left before the true children of God are Raptured from this world and the Great Tribulation happens. You might not think it a big deal, but throughout a lot that I read the subject is constantly brought up that people are born and raised in preparation of meeting their other half and my brain translates that statement into the limitations of genetics. To others it might not seem like a big deal, but when the person that you see completely ignores genetics it creates a conundrum. I may not be an expert, but the person that I keep seeing has natural (as far as I can tell) navy blue hair and soft lavender colored eyes. I don’t think any genetics could create colors like that. I’ve been bothered by this for a bit because I have a desire to recognize her when I first see her and even though in heaven we will be able to recognize each other I want to know what she truly looks like. It may or may not be self-centered, but even if a person were to have the exact same personality but were to look differently it just wouldn’t feel right to me. I know people say that a person’s personality is the most important thing, but I can’t deny that I also want to be physically attracted to them and if they were to look different it just wouldn’t feel like it was the person that I fell in love with. The problem comes with trying to consolidate the information I have. In order for this person to look the way she does she would have to have never been born on the Earth as then she would have the limitations of Earthly genetics and wouldn’t be able to look the way she does. The only way it seems possible is if she was created uniquely for me, but would God really do that? If he were why would he create her just for me? What makes me so special that he would do this compared to the other that have had their other half born the natural way? There are so many things that I can’t seem to reconcile and was hoping someone could help and it just felt like the right thing to do in posting this. I apologize if it seemed like I was rambling, but it just seemed like you would need the full story to understand. If this is a condensed comment I apologize as I am not the best when it comes to writing. May the wisdom of God be with you.

    • Hurley Combs says:

      Dear Lee,

      I would like to start by apologizing for the extremely long comment. I still feel that it was the right thing to do, but it feels like I wasn’t fully coherent because I was desperately trying to find answers. I will try to clarify things a little bit.

      In many ways it feels difficult to accept the answers that I already have and other parts I am just uncertain about and try to find answers.

      As far as I can tell God has the power to do anything, it is only because of the fact that he is perfect that prevents him from contradicting who he is and in regards to creating a person we know that he created Eve from the rib of Adam and therefore he could easily create another person. I can’t deny the fact that I have spent time with the person that I truly believe is supposed to be my other half is a wonderful gift, especially since we are going to be separated unless he allows us to spend some time together until I pass on. The uncertainty comes in the way we spend time together.

      Seeing as the two of us are separated because I am exist in the physical and she exists in the spiritual the only time we can spend any decent amount of time together is when I am asleep and dreaming. While we dream messages are occasionally given to us in a way that we can understand and that is where the conflict arises.

      Seeing as the person I see in my dreams are that of an anime character in which I found a personality that I believe would make an ideal partner it would make sense if this image was used to help me understand that who I am seeing is supposed to be my partner/wife/companion (not sure of appropriate term) for eternity. On the other hand once that became obvious I would think that they would show me what they truly look like. I’ve only seen them in the one form, but it still causes me some form of anxiety because I ‘m just not sure about it one way or the other and I want to know for certain so that when I do pass on I can easily recognize them and won’t have the awkwardness of when someone recognizes you and you don’t recognize them. Also because I’ve only known them in the one form I am concerned that I won’t love them as much because it wouldn’t really feel like they are the same person that I fell in love with.

      Then of course there comes the piece where if she really does look like the anime character it makes me concerned in regards to there being other look-alikes because then it doesn’t feel like it would be a unique relationship, but if there does turn out to be just one of her why would I be the one to be with her? What about the others that have seen her as well through the anime and also fallen in love with her? What would make me any more deserving than them to be with her?

      Hopefully that clarifies things a little bit. I can understand how this could potentially be complicated and I can be patient with any reply you give. May God bless you and give you wisdom to answer any questions you receive.

      • Lee says:

        Hi Hurley,

        Thanks for stopping by, and for your comments. There is no need to apologize. These thoughts, experiences, and concerns are all very real for you, even if others might be skeptical. And though I cannot, of course, be in your head and experience them the way you do, perhaps I can offer a few thoughts that might be helpful.

        To take the most straightforward part first, there is no way that you will not recognize your eternal partner once it comes your time to go to your eternal life in the spiritual world. Yes, immediately after the death of your physical body there will be an initial period of sorting things out, getting oriented, and letting your full inner character and personality come out. For more on this, see: “What Happens To Us When We Die?” However, once we become fully acclimated to the spiritual world, we are able to see very clearly both our own true character and the true character of the people around us. That includes the character of the person who will be our eternal partner, and the unity of heart, mind, and soul that exists between the two of us.

        Further, in the spiritual world, similarity of spirit and values draws us together like the force of gravity. So you can be assured that if you don’t meet your soulmate here on earth, before you have been in the spiritual world for long you will be drawn to her, meet her, and join your life with hers there.

        Now for the more complicated part.

        You envision your lover or soulmate as an anime character that you are familiar with from an anime series that you enjoy. Yes, for many people that would seem quite strange. Some would consider it pathological, and would wish to diagnose you with some disorder.

        However, it’s useful to consider where those anime characters come from. They are, I think we can all agree, products of the human mind. After all, they are conceived, written, and drawn by human authors and artists. This is true of every character, animal, human, or otherwise, that appears in human artwork, comic strips, video games, and so on. See: “Video Games, Virtual Reality, and Spiritual Reality.” The characters we create, and are drawn to, represent something of our own spirit and values, both positive and negative.

        I would suggest, then, that the particular anime character you are drawn to, and have a relationship with in your dreams, is not so much literally the anime character that you see, with navy blue hair and soft lavender eyes, but rather is an expression in a particular art genre of human characteristics that you are drawn to and feel at one with in your spirit because they express and complement something about your own character. Those human characteristics have become expressed and personified in that particular character, from the mind of its human creator.

        I do not believe, then, that in the spiritual world you will meet a woman who physically looks like that particular anime character. Rather, I believe you will meet a woman there, or perhaps here on earth, who has the character traits that are expressed in that anime character. And though I know that now you want to meet in the spiritual world someone who looks like the character you see in your dreams, please believe me when I tell you that in the spiritual world, physical appearances will be far less important to you than spiritual qualities of character.

        Having said that, it is possible for people in the spiritual world to take on the appearance of various forms that aren’t what we would normally think of as human. For example, Swedenborg describes some spirits who prefer to think of themselves as luminous orbs rather than as having the usual human-shaped bodies, and who therefore commonly appear that way to others and to themselves even though they do actually have spiritual bodies in the usual human form complete with a head, torso, arms and legs, and so on. So it is not beyond the realm of possibility that your eternal partner may at times appear to you as an anime character. But her underlying form will still be that of a human woman who was born and grew up on this physical earth just as you did, and who then went on to live in the spiritual world.

        There is, of course, much more that could be said. But I’ll leave it at that for now. Feel free to respond or ask further questions, and I’ll do my best to respond helpfully—just as I hope what I have said so far is helpful to you.

        • Hurley Combs says:

          Thanks Lee for the reply.

          To be completely honest a lot of this I knew in my head, unfortunately the heart is what mostly causes the turmoil. I have to admit that I am a person who deals efficiently in areas that are black and white, but the unknown grey areas are what causes me anxiety. Unfortunately even when you can know something emotions can overwhelm you to the point of not being able to think clearly.

          Honestly I have tried to be a godly man ever since I accepted Christ into my life and I’m certain that the Devil doesn’t like it and tried to attack whenever he can.

          I find that whenever I am under a lot of stress my emotions are less in check then when I am free of stress, but it’s only when I am really alone that it effects me. (By alone I mean no physical people around. After all we are never truly alone). I can’t fully explain it, but to some degree I am able to minimize my emotions to some degree in order to try to be polite and respectful to others so that hopefully they will have a better day.

          I work in retail and sometimes with some of the people I deal with it makes me wonder if the Devil may have sent them to try and shake me emotionally. It is definitely interesting to think about. After all when things go wrong, it is the Devil to do these things (with God allowing it that is), yet there is always a reason for it.

          The Devil tries any tricks to try to make people either turn away from God or try to keep them from being saved in the first place.

          I’ve seen his tricks first-hand and being human there have been times where I have been hurt emotionally, but throughout it all (as far as I can remember) I’ve never lost faith in God, and that probably burns him up and possibly might lead him to try to make me miserable at the very least. After all, if you can’t have their soul than might as well make certain that you make them as miserable as you can.

          I think I may have gone off on a tangent their. I guess what I was trying to say is that it feels like when I get effected emotionally (which to some degree we all do, we were made to be emotional creatures and not some silly robots without emotions) it effects me strongly and can not fully think rationally. I did appreciate the insight even if was just to help confirm why I already knew. It honestly feels like confirmation is needed sometimes to make certain that you are on the right track.

          May you have a good (if not easy) life.


          P.S.: that article about video games was interesting and if you think about it can apply to any form of entertainment. Thanks for the article suggestion and I’ll keep a look out for any other interesting articles.

        • Lee says:

          Hi Hurley,

          Yes, our emotions can and commonly do run away with us, dragging our thinking mind along with them. Anyway, glad to be able to confirm for you things you already knew in your heart.

  26. Rami says:

    Hi Lee,

    I notice that a lot of discussion on this topic- both in the comments and in the article- concern our life partners from the perspective of either having married ‘the wrong person’ or ‘finding our soulmate’- but is anyone who is not your soulmate the wrong person? It seems to me that most marriages fall somewhere in between these two poles. While one may not be married to their soulmate, they may nevertheless be in a truly loving, committed relationship with someone else who would hardly be described as ‘wrong’ for them. Indeed, sometimes relationships begin so lovingly or evolve into such great love over time that their relationship resonates with nearly the same intensity as that between two soulmates. But does that still mean there is ultimately still someone just a *tad* bit better suited to them, and that they will eventually be with that person? Or does the fact that two people have entered into a loving relationship mean that they found the person that was born for them?

    Most marriages begin locally, from both a social and geographical perspective. People are introduced to one another through their existing circle of friends, they may meet each other at work, or at school; they may meet each other out in public, in either their small towns or big cities. I’ve always wondered: what are the odds ‘the one’ just happened to live in your state, in your city, in your part of town? And if they’re not, does that mean the right one is still out there, in a different state, in a different part of the country? In a different country?

    My initial, formative take on the issue was that there is no ‘one’ person out there, for anyone. Rather people become each other’s ‘one’ over time- sometimes it’s a short time, sometimes it’s a long time, but eventually they grow so deeply *into* each other that they can no longer bear to be apart. Even if they were to eventually cross paths with someone who was better suited to them, there could be no true love between them since their heart has fused with another. But your remarks on people being born for each other has got me thinking.

    You mentioned earlier that you no longer believe that God manages the world in such a way that everything is coordinated and set into motion down to the most minute details, but rather that God allows for a certain level of randomness in the world. Was that the viewpoint you had as of writing this article? And if there is *purpose* to God’s design in that we each have a soulmate, but *randomness* in that design in that we may never meet them on earth, does that mean that most of us have not and will never meet that person on earth, since they can be scattered all over the globe? Or maybe being accessible to each other is still part of that design?

    Oh, and one last question, and I apologize if this amounts to a technical nitpicking: does the fact that everyone is ultimately destined to marry mean that there is- or will at some point be- an equal number of men and women in heaven? I’m not sure if human beings are destined to exist and thus procreate forever into the material future, but whether there is or is not an end to the physical reality of human beings, it seems like there would have to be one soul for each other soul, right?

    • Rami says:

      Also, I’m wondering: is it possible that someone’s soulmate could ultimately choose hell? When you say God ‘prepares’ two people for one another, does He prepare them according to what He *wants* for them, and according to the opportunities for love and charity that are given to them? Or are they prepared according to the choices they make? After all, demons in hell have ‘marriages’ of their own, so does that mean that even two evil spirits are prepared for one another?

      • Rami says:

        I also see that your very first comment addresses some of my questions. Which (of course) leads me to another, follow up to my very last one: I think it’s fair to say that God provides someone for everyone out of unfathomable love. If evil spirits are arranged a marriage partner, is that also an act of love? And as bizarre as this sounds, does that make hell, itself, an act of love, since they are given a place by which they can live out the evil things that they love so much?

        • Lee says:

          Hi Rami,

          Yes, my first comment here provides my working answer to your main question about couples being born for each other vs. couples growing into one another’s marital partner. Short version: I think that both are in play. Creation is complex, human beings are complex, and marriage relationships are complex. There is not a simple answer to this question. The reality of actual marriage relationships exists in an interplay between the two.

          To answer your questions about evil spirits and hell:

          Evil spirits do not have a marriage partner. Most of them are promiscuous rather than monogamous. And even those that are monogamous can’t really be said to have a “marriage” or a “marriage partner” because they reject the fundamental basis of marriage, which is love for another person. Even if evil spirits do live with a single partner, they ultimately feel hate and disdain rather than love for that partner, even if they may appreciate some of their partner’s evil qualities. Their life together with their partner is characterized by continual bickering and fighting. Each one is primarily trying to gain benefits and pleasure for him- or herself. That’s not a marriage, nor are they marriage partners.

          They also do not view themselves as being in a marriage. The men consider what we would incorrectly call their “wives” to be mere prostitutes.

          All of this is why Swedenborg states in a number of places that there is no marriage or marriage love in hell. Only couplings, most of which are temporary.

          However, yes, allowing for hell to exist is in a “permissive” sense an act of love on God’s part precisely because it is God allowing (not giving) evil spirits a place where they can enjoy the evil things they love as much as that is possible. God wants everyone to be happy. And for those who have chosen to gain their happiness—or really, just pleasure—from engaging in evil, God allows them to experience that pleasure because God also loves the evil spirits in hell.

          The problem, of course, is that gaining pleasure from evil inevitably brings pain with it, and is also self-limiting. Still, God allows as much of it as possible, while keeping it within boundaries such that it does not harm good people in any lasting way.

          And I will emphasize once again that hell is not something God gives or creates, but something God allows or tolerates. God does not create hell. Rather, the evil spirits in hell form hell by twisting God’s love and truth into their opposites: evil and falsity, and living in the realm and atmosphere that results.

      • Lee says:

        Hi Rami,

        The necessity of free will and the possibility that one, but not the other, partner of a potential marriage could choose hell rather than heaven is one of the reasons I think God’s providence over marriage is more complex than God simply providing one and only one possible partner to be born for each person on earth.

        And it’s one of the reasons I think that people growing into each other’s partner is just as essential as people being born to be each other’s partner.

        Though it’s true that many people experience love at first sight with the person they marry and spend their life with, that love at first sight doesn’t make a marriage. Rather, their growing together through years of marriage makes a marriage. The love at first sight in only the conscious beginning of the marriage.

        In other words, marriage is an ongoing process, not an instantaneous event.

        And clearly, a person who chooses hell cannot grow together over the years with a person who chooses heaven. Even if there might potentially have been the beginning of a marriage, no actual marriage can be built because the two are going in opposite directions, not walking side-by-side in life.

        See my previous comment about demons in hell having marriages. Really, they do not. But even in hell, “birds of a feather stick together.” So people with similar evil loves will tend to congregate together. And those whose evil loves are most similar will engage in couplings that can’t really be called marriages, but that may be monogamous even if the partnership is based on self-love rather than on marriage love.

        One example of this type of relationship in popular culture is the relationship between Kevin Spacey’s and Robin Wright’s characters in the American (Netflix) version of “House of Cards.” They don’t really have a marriage. What they have is a coupling with a like-minded and equally Machiavellian person for the purpose of attaining their own goals of political power.

        I’m not sure I would say these hellish couples are “prepared for one another” by God. That suggests God actively guiding their lives so that they will meet. But such people have rejected God and have rejected God’s guidance. So their meeting is based more on their own ego than on God’s providence. In Swedenborg’s terminology, it would fall under God’s laws of permission (tolerance) rather than God’s laws of providence.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Rami,

      About couples that may be a near miss rather than soulmates, see my second comment in the comments section above. In general, I think that people who have a good marriage, even if it may seem not to be exactly the right marriage, are best to stick together in this life, even if their marriage may not be an eternal one. But this, of course, is a very personal decision on the part of each couple and each partner.

      About marriages beginning locally, that’s not necessarily a problem. People who grow up in the same area and social circles also tend to have similar values and similar views of life. If a small-town farm boy from Kansas marries a farm girl from the neighboring small town in Kansas, that doesn’t mean they can’t be right for each other. There are many such marriages that are lifelong, strong, and deep bonds between two people who share a fundamental oneness of heart, mind, and life precisely because they come from a similar culture and background.

      Another way of saying this is that we are not radically free to become anyone we want to be, despite the motivational slogans that are popular these days. We are born into a particular culture, with some general character traits baked in from the beginning. And while we can turn those character traits in positive or negative directions, we’re not going to become a radically different person; rather, we’re going to become a radically better (or worse) version of the person that we were in potential at birth.

      These days, with the rise of global communications and travel, and the resulting sharing and blending of cultures, it’s more possible and more likely for partners to find one another across the geographical lines of continents and countries than it was in past centuries. And that’s fine, too. But it doesn’t negate the basic reality that people of similar character and values tend to find one another and join their lives together. And that can happen locally just as easily, if not much more easily, than it can across the lines of continents, countries, and cultures.

      Part of God providing partners for us, I believe, involves people being born into various cultures that have common traits and values such that people within those cultures tend to be suited to one another. This doesn’t negate inter-cultural and interracial marriages. Deeper similarities and shared values can bring people of different cultures and backgrounds together in good and happy marriages. But the bulk of marriages still take place within particular cultures and races. And there’s nothing wrong with that, either.

      My general feeling is that our marriage partner is whoever we find and unite with in a happy marriage. Where they come from is far less important than who they are. And people who are, or can become, one in spirit do tend to find each other in the course of their lives precisely because that inner similarity tends to draw them into the same circles, and into contact with one another.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Rami,

      About eternal marriage vs. gender imbalance in the human population:

      There is indeed a slight gender imbalance in the world’s population. However, this may or may not mean that there is a gender imbalance in the spiritual world, depending upon when one believes a human soul becomes eternal.

      The human gender imbalance appears mostly to be based on a higher rate of fetal mortality for females than for males, which is then not entirely balanced by a higher rate of infant mortality for males than for females. See the Wikipedia page on “Human sex ratio.”

      Assuming these hypotheses about human gender imbalance hold (there seems to much less solid data about gender at conception than at birth and later), for those who believe that the soul becomes eternal at conception, there is less of a gender imbalance problem. For those who believe that the soul becomes eternal at birth, there is a greater gender imbalance problem. For those who believe the soul becomes eternal somewhere in between, such as at fetal viability, I presume the gender imbalance problem would also fall somewhere in between.

      Sorting all of this out is a bit above my pay grade. However, here are a few pressure relief valves that could smooth over any remaining gender imbalance:

      • Not all angels are married. Some angels who had strongly committed themselves to celibacy remain celibate in heaven.
      • Many, if not most evil spirits in hell are not in any kind of stable or monogamous relationships. Many, if not most, are either sexually promiscuous and even predatory, or come to eschew sexual relationships altogether over time. Monogamy does not reign in hell as it does in heaven.
      • Good people from polygamous cultures may continue to be polygamous in heaven, even if this relegates them to the lower fringes of heaven. (This, however, may actually exacerbate the gender imbalance problem, since the overall human gender imbalance is skewed toward males, and one man having multiple wives is the rule in polygamous cultures.)
      • A small percentage of the population is born intersex, meaning they have a more or less ambiguous sexual identification according to traditional definitions. A slightly larger percentage of the population has a same-sex, bisexual, or other sexual orientation. This brings additional wild cards into the gender balance vs. eternal marriage equation, which I don’t claim to be able to fully sort out.

      All of this suggests to me that God has enough leeway to work with in providing people with eternal marriage partners. The general rule, according to Swedenborg, is not that God provides an eternal marriage partner for everyone. Rather, it is that God provides an eternal marriage partner for everyone who deeply longs for a marriage of inner love and oneness with another person. Not everyone wants that.

  27. tammi85 says:

    How can somebody be a good person and at the same time polygamous?
    In most Islamic country’s that still practice polygamy woman are seen as second class citizens or worse, and are forced into marriages with men some times old enough to be their fathers by male family members. Are you saying after death these woman and girls aren’t able to separate from the man they where forced to marry, and may have been mistreated by?

    And how could a man really have the same amount of love for multiple woman? He’s bound to have stronger feelings for one more than the others.

    If woman are given free will in heaven like in the west, I vary much doubt they would want to share a husband with multiply other woman and girls.

    • Lee says:

      Hi tammi85,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and questions.

      I agree with you that polygamy is not a good thing. And in particular, that it is on a whole different, and lower, level than real, spiritual monogamous marriage. Polygamy is intrinsically materialistic and unspiritual. And no, it is generally not a good thing for women.

      But to answer your questions specifically:

      In the spiritual world, no one, including no woman, is forced to be with anyone she does not want to be with. Any girl or woman who has been forced into a marriage, whether monogamous or polygamous, that she does not want to be in will be released from that marriage after death, and will be free to live her life as she wishes, with whom she wishes. And especially these days, I expect that very few women will accept polygamous marriages in the spiritual world.

      And no, I don’t believe it is possible for a man in a polygamous society to love all of his wives equally. At best he may be able to treat them all fairly equally, as religions that allow polygamy generally require men to do. But he is bound to have his favorite(s), and other less favored wives. The Bible itself portrays this in its stories of polygamous marriage, such as that of Jacob’s greater love and favor for his wife Rachel than for his wife Leah.

      Still, neither Rachel nor Leah questioned the institution of polygamy. Rather, each sought to be primary in the affections of her husband, and in bearing sons for her husband. And Leah, though she was the less loved and favored wife, did in fact bear more sons for her husband than Rachel did. She was also ultimately the wife who was buried next to her husband. So although she was the less loved wife, by the standards of her culture she was the more greatly honored wife. And the surviving remnant of ancient Israel was predominantly from the tribe of Judah, one of Leah’s sons. That is also the origin of the name that the resulting religion bears to this day: Judaism.

      I say this not to justify polygamy, but to point out that in those cultures it was simply a common, accepted way of life. It was not considered wrong or evil in any way.

      Indeed, for much of human history, in many cultures, polygamy was common and accepted. And though it is thankfully fading today, there are still cultures in which it is accepted and practiced. And no one who has practiced it in good conscience is condemned for that in the afterlife. A man in a polygamous culture who has more than one wife can still be a good man. And his wives can still be good women. I do not believe they can experience anything like real, spiritual marriage. However, many natural-minded people are still good people. They’re just not very deep people spiritually. That is why good people from polygamous cultures who do not renounce polygamy in the spiritual world can live only in the lower fringes of heaven.

      I look forward to the day when polygamy no longer exists in any culture on this earth. But polygamy is just one of many less-than-ideal things that we humans have accepted as normal in our various societies. And we are not condemned for things we have been taught are good and proper, and that we practice in good conscience.

      I should add that of course, any man who mistreats and abuses his wife (or wives) is not a good and honorable man.

  28. Jen V. says:

    Just wanted to know, is there any evidence in scriptures of this? Most of your information is coming from a book rather than the Bible, which is fine, but I would like to see at least some verses or references from the Bible itself.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Jen,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question.

      The main purpose of the Bible is to lead and guide us toward heaven. It does that by teaching us what we need to believe, know, and do in order to find our way to heaven. The Bible is much less concerned about teaching us what heaven will be like when we get there. That’s why there are so many different, and often conflicting, views about the afterlife among different Christian churches and denominations. And that’s why, for the most part, the Bible is not a very good source of information about marriage in heaven. That’s just not what God gave us the Bible to teach us about. God gave us the Bible to tell us what we must believe and how we must live here on earth in order to find our home in heaven after we die.

      Having said that, there is enough in the Bible about marriage that we can reasonably conclude that there is marriage in the afterlife, and that it will be between people whom God has joined together—which may not necessarily be the people that we humans, and our earthly churches and governments, have joined together.

      But that’s a big topic, and not one I can cover in a comment. However, some of it is covered in this article:
      Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?

      At the end of this one there are links to several more articles that may also be helpful.

  29. Chris says:

    Hi Lee,

    My name is Chris! I’ve been looking at this article many times. This also got my attention. I am a virgin! I’ve been a virgin my whole entire life! I have also had trouble my whole entire life looking for a soulmate and I’ve never been in love. I have never been married or engaged as well! And I have had no success. I’m such a very lonely person! And I’m still longing for a soulmate! But I do have some questions on my mind. My 1st question is this. If I wanted to reunite with some female whom I haven’t seen for many years, is it possible that God could bring us together? Because, she’s someone I’ve met at school in our teens. We were getting really close. Then after we graduated from High School, we haven’t seen each other again. I have been thinking about her, as the years have gone by. She has always been on my mind ever since both she and I met. By the way, she’s also a virgin, too! I have had dreams of marrying her. But it never happened. The reason why we were never in a relationship, is because, I was afraid her parents would tell me, no! Even if I had to ask for their blessing, they would still say, no! Also, even if I ask to talk to her on the phone, they would still tell me, no. So, I feel the right thing for me to do, is to respect them. Because, there is something about her that would really surprise you even if I told you what it is.

    My 2nd question is this. If that doesn’t work out that I can’t get together with this woman whom I’ve haven’t seen in years, would the best thing for me to do is, just move on? My 3rd question is this. If I meet my soulmate or that special woman after I die, will she be someone that I have never met? My 4th question is this. Will she also be someone that has also never been married or found love on earth, too? And my 5th and final question is this. Would God be able to let me choose whom I would want to be with? And I really want to tell you, that I am so, very greatful for this article!! Thank you!!!

    • Lee says:

      Hi Chris,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and questions. I’m glad this article is helpful to you! In answer to your questions:

      1. It is certainly possible that you could get together with the girl, now a woman, that you knew and were attracted to in high school, assuming that she has not moved on in her mind and heart. If you know where she lives and what her circumstances are, I would encourage you to contact her if that is possible and appropriate, if for no other reason than to satisfy your mind and heart that she either is or isn’t the right woman for you. You’re both adults now. You can make your own decisions about matters of love.

      2. If it turns out that you can’t get together with her, and it’s unlikely that the two of you were meant for each other, then yes, I would encourage you to move on. It does us no good to remain stuck with past loves and attachments when they are not realistic for the present and future. Of course, if there are external reasons you can’t get together, but it still looks like you are right for each other, then that is a difficult issue, and you may have to make a hard decision.

      3. As mentioned in the above article, if we meet our soulmate in heaven it may or may not be someone we have met here on earth. Only God knows.

      4. Similarly, only God knows the history and life circumstances of the person you will be married to in eternity. There’s a good chance it will be someone who had a story similar to yours, but there are also many happily married couples who had very different backgrounds before the stories of their lives intersected, merged, and became one.

      5. Of course we can choose who we want to be with. We are free to live as we wish to live. We can even decide not to get married if we would prefer to be single. God doesn’t force us into anything. But for most people, either immediately or over time after they meet someone, their heart tells them that this person is or isn’t their partner and soulmate. So the heart does its own choosing. It’s not an intellectual thing.

      I hope these answers help. Though you are very lonely now, God does have someone in mind for you. Ideally you will find her here on earth, but if not you will meet her in the spiritual world after your time on this earth is over. You will not be lovely forever!

      • Chris says:

        Hi Lee,

        How are you? I wrote to you over a year ago in January. I’m sorry that I haven’t had a chance to reply. There is something that I would love to share with you. I have a friend who is a psychic and I told her about this article. Also, when I told her that I had dreams about this woman that’s in Heaven and I even described her in my dreams. She’s a very beautiful blonde young woman. My psychic friend even told me that my soulmate in Heaven is waiting for me!! Isn’t that amazing? I even told her about the dreams that I had of this young woman. When I told my psychic friend about the dreams that I had of my soulmate in Heaven, I had some personal questions on my mind. This was when I was doing a reading with her. When I told her about the dreams that I had, she told me that my soulmate confirms my dreams and that they will happen. Plus, my dreams have been confirmed while I was doing the reading. I was so, very thrilled and happy when I got the answers that I’ve been looking for. I also want to mention to you, that I have created the kind of Heaven in my mind that I’m going to have with my soulmate in Heaven. So it turns out, that after my time on this earth is over, I will be meeting my soulmate in Heaven. And she and I will be spending eternity with each other!!! 🙂

        • Lee says:

          Hi Chris,

          It is good to hear from you. I’m glad to hear that you now have good hope and expectations for a happy life in heaven with your soulmate. I would only suggest that you not let this distract you from doing your spiritual work here on earth. It is here on earth that we build ourselves into the kind of person who is able to have that happy life and companionship in heaven.

          Meanwhile, Godspeed on your spiritual journey!

  30. Anna says:

    Dear Lee,

    Thank you for your great posts. I totally share your views on this question.

    I have three questions I would like to ask you about:

    1. I lived with someone (but whom I was not married to) for 3 years. Now I am married to someone else. Will I have to meet with my previous partner in the afterlife, since we were not married? Because I really wouldn’t want to.

    2. Even if we had been married, is the fact that at least one of us believes that the “case is closed”, enough to assure we won’t have to meet in the afterlife? Since I do not believe that he might be my eternal partner, WHY would I have to meet him after death, if I am happy in my actual marriage at the time I die? (Maybe when Swedenborg wrote a man who had been married several times would live with each of his previous marital partners, he had in perspective the social context of his time, when separation and divorce was much more difficult than nowadays?)

    3. With my previous partner, I got pregnant and had a spontaneous abortion at two weeks only. I pray the soul involved was not immortal because I wouldn’t want to have to share a life, even if just temporarily, with my previous partner in order to raise that child. But even if that soul was already immortal, is there any probability that he/she might be already a grown up in Heaven and I do not have to be with his/her father only for the fact of a son/daughter in common?

    I am sorry if these questions seem odd to you, but I feel like you are open-minded enough to approach these questions with your marvelous insight.

    Thank you so much!

    • Lee says:

      Hi Anna,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and questions. I’m glad you’re enjoying the articles here. Your questions are all good and reasonable ones. In response:

      1 & 2. Have no fear. In the afterlife you don’t have to be with anyone you don’t want to be with. We’re still people there just as we are here. We still have freedom to live where we want to live, see who we want to see, avoid people we don’t want to see, and so on. If you are in a state of “case closed” with a previous partner, there will be no particular reason to reopen the case there. Presumably you are not together with him because you and he have rather different outlooks and directions in life. That will continue in the afterlife, where we live together with, and near, people that we have a lot in common with, and at a distance from people who think, feel, and act very differently than we do.

      Even if, for some reason, he wanted to initiate contact there, you could just “not pick up the phone,” and that would be that. If he is a bad and scary person, you will have angels around you protecting you from any harm he might do to you, and he will suffer the consequences of even trying.

      If you are happy in your current marriage, you will stay in your current marriage.

      About Swedenborg’s statement that people who have been married multiple times get together with each of their marital partners in turn: Since separation and divorce were, as you say, more difficult in his day and age, most likely he was thinking about men whose wives had died, perhaps in childbirth, and then the man remarried. In that case he might want to check up on his previous wives. Presumably there was no bad blood between them. They were separated by death in the middle of their marriage. But people who are finished with a former partner here will still be finished with that former partner there. We’re still the same people, with the same thoughts, feelings, experiences, and so on. Nothing changes except that we leave our physical body, and the physical world, behind.

      It’s also good to keep in mind that in the 18th century, marriage as we think of it today—as a relationship based on a deep connection of love between two people—hardly existed, if it existed at all. Most marriages were based more on family, social, and financial considerations. Love was a secondary or tertiary issue. In those rare cases that a couple had a true and deep marriage love, there would be no reason even then for them to get back together with any other partners in marriage they might have had.

      3. If your embryo that miscarried had an eternal soul (that is still an open question in my mind), s/he would likely have already grown up by the time you reach the spiritual world. Infants and children who die grow up more rapidly in heaven than here on earth because they are in the spiritual world, in their spiritual body, which is much more alive and responsive than the physical world and our physical body. Even if s/he were not grown up by the time you passed on to the spiritual world, that wouldn’t mean you would have to get together with the child’s father. Most likely the girl or boy would remain with her or his angel parents until s/he reached adulthood, since that’s what s/he has been used to. However, if you wanted to meet her or him, that would certainly be possible.

      The general rule in the spiritual world is that we are not forced into any situation that we don’t want to be in. There are some exceptions to this, such as criminals who attempt to deny their crimes. They are brought face to face with the reality of what they’ve done in a way they can’t deny. But other than situations like that, we have great freedom in the spiritual world—even more than we have here on earth—to live the way we want to live, and to associate with the people we want to associate with.

      Don’t worry about being forced into situations or relationships that you don’t want in the afterlife. That’s just not how life in the spiritual world works.

  31. Chad says:

    Hi Lee, I wanted your thoughts on something I’ve been tossing around in my heart for a while.

    Some time ago, I had a dream where I met a woman, the most beautiful and wonderful person I have yet encountered. The moment we made eye contact in this dream, I felt an instant, powerful connection and bond with her, exactly the instinctual “she is my mate” thought that Swedenborg says angelic couples experience. I still think about that woman I met in the dream sometimes, and thinking about married life with her, thinking about both of us being perfectly happy and in love with one another, fills my soul with happiness and serenity like very few things can.

    So, my question, Lee, is if this dream of a woman meant anything. Could God have been sending me a vision or premonition of the woman I would marry, the angel I would spend all eternity with in Heaven, or is it just that, a dream? The feelings and connection I felt towards her are almost identical to how Swedenborg describes angel “couples” encountering and falling in holistic love with one another. Note that this was before I encountered Swedenborg’s theology, so my mind couldn’t have been working off of conceptions it didn’t yet have.

    In the deepest part of my soul, I long for a spiritual, loving, truly happy and everlasting marriage with a woman. Could God have been sending me a vision of “the one”, and if not, what else could this dream mean?


    • Lee says:

      Hi Chad,

      What a beautiful dream! I am certain it was a gift to your soul from God and the angels. Having such a vision in your mind gives your heart something to look forward to.

      Only time will tell how things actually work out. A vision of an ideal still leaves us in the position of needing to work toward that ideal. People often daydream about meeting “the right one.” But on the practical level, it is much more important to become “the right one” for your future soulmate. This means doing all of the sometimes hard work of personal spiritual growth that makes it possible for you to truly love another person. For a somewhat whimsical look at this, please see:

      How to Attract the Opposite Sex—and Keep ’Em

      I do believe that the vision in your dream is of a real future relationship that God wants to give you. I believe it is a vision that you can look forward to and aspire to, as long as you are willing to do the work of becoming the man who is able to truly love and cherish the woman you met in your dreams.

      I would also suggest not getting too stuck on any particular physical appearances in the dream, which may or may not represent the earthly appearance of your future bride and wife. On that, once again, only time will tell.

  32. David says:

    Hi Lee & Annette I’d like to tell you I met my Soul Mate or who I believed to be my Soul Mate here on earth years ago. She was an incredible woman, a real queen, wise, classy, and fun to be with, like no other woman I had ever been with. I wanted to marry her and have kids. She was 42 at the time and I was 30 and just starting to learn to live and be the man I always wanted to be, with her. The sad part of this story is I left the relationship after a bad series of events affected me and I was depressed because of it and felt inadequate mostly over my personal finances since I got laid off. See, I didnt leave out of meanness nor did I have any strong words, but rather I felt bad for her in the long run since I had depression issues and was somewhat immature in the way I handled my own problems so I left because I wanted to save her from my problems! I really loved her but I found out through others later she was very confused, and I realized what a terrible mistake I had made. I realize now, couples go through problems, and they overcome them together through love and being positive , believing they will succeed no matter what. Yes she loved me too! I felt it like no other woman. Well years later, since we are both older now, I decided to look her up and call her-only because I was having very vivid dreams about her constantly for about a week. Truth is I never stopped loving her or thinking of her and wishing I had been more communicative with her but I never had a good support group of friends or mentors to counsel me. I grew up in a broken home, lots of stress and it took me years to overcome all that baggage but I was severely inadequate when confronted with stress, and I tend to be too harsh on myself, and self doubt. Well I called her and at first no answer, then an hour later she called me! I was so happy to hear from her after all this time. We talked for a while about small stuff but I got to apologize to her and asked her for her forgiveness. Which she did and told me not to beat myself up. Also I told her I still loved her like a great friend or sister-not wanting to sound too heavy or emotional. She told me she isnt married and never had kids but has been in a relationship now with an older man for the last 11 years and he is a well off developer. I didnt tell her but I thought I would marry you tomorrow if that door was opened for me! I still love her! Im thinking she still loves me or she would not have called me back! I feel lifes problems tore her away from me and ruined my life and I allowed this to happen through my inexperience and negativity or financial inadequacy-which although temporary, affected my choice to let her go so I wouldnt drag her through the chaos of the time. We had such fun together, we went everywhere together.I have lived in sadness over it ever since. I never really wanted to leave but was in a state of duress. She never had kids and thats my fault. God my life is so sad, and filled with such depression and misery but I go on, and try to be a better person everyday but just sad and lonely since I never met another woman Id marry or felt close to like the Lady I was with that many years ago. At this point if I never see her or hear from her again i hope to see her in heaven where all will be laid bare and she can see me for what I am and I would love for her to be my Soul Mate. I would marry her here if I could or I would love to know her in heaven. I would reincarnate and come back to earth to marry her again….I always felt a strong bond to this beautiful and kind hearted woman. I wished I had been a little more successful and confident before I met her because I feel we would still be together. She never left me over anything, it was I who out of immaturity, did not handle my own problems but let them spill over into my relationship so thats when i decided to leave, to let her be free of me so the chaos in my life wouldnt touch her. I do love her, I really really do care for her. I wonder if I could see her in heaven and be with her? I would without question. God we had such fun together when lifes problems werent affecting me. Im open to any opinions or suggestions both you and Annette may have and welcome any questions if you have any. I think you have a very thoughtful and loving approach to marriage, the afterlife and soul mates. I think Im reaching out to you both because I never had a good support group at any point in my life but had to work it all out on my own. I feel my life was too hard for a good relationship to last and I am somewhat resentful in this life over it all. Starting from my early childhood til now, a very lonely, boring and austere life full of depression, and problems, I could never get ahead but just exist to pay bills and get by. College never worked for me, I went broke. So many problems. I lost my soul mate because I thought it wouldnt be fair to her to drag her through all this chaos in my life. She showed me, what life could be like here on this earth IF I had been ready? Thank you for any opinions you may have.

    • Lee says:

      Hi David,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for telling your story.

      Unfortunately, as you have learned the hard way, the foolish mistakes we make in our youth all too often have lifelong consequences.

      If a young man parties hearty, then jumps into his car with his best friend, rolls the car, kills his friend, and turns himself into a quadriplegic, that is one foolish action that happened within the space of a few hours that will plague him both physically and emotionally for the rest of his earthly life. No matter how much he wishes every day that he had not been so *#$% stupid, he has to live with the consequences of his youthful stupidity. Only when he moves on from this life to the next will he finally be released from the “prison” of his broken physical body. Healing from the emotional wounds can take a lifetime—and that healing may also happen only in the afterlife when the two friends can finally reunite.

      So . . . though I wish I could say something that would make things all better for you, the unfortunate reality, as you’ve already discovered, is that all these years later, you’re still living with the consequences of a decision you made when you were young and inexperienced in the ways of life and relationships. The lessons you are learning from that mistake are lifelong, and painful, ones.

      The good news I can give you is that assuming you have been doing the hard work of growing up emotionally and spiritually, and becoming a good and thoughtful man, this will all be sorted out in the afterlife, and you will be united with your true love there. Honestly, I can’t say with 100% certainty that it will be the same woman you fell in love with when you were young. But from what you say, it sounds like she will indeed be the one for you. Although it may be too late here on earth, it is never too late in the spiritual world.

      About your rough upbringing, many people have to deal with that. And we are not held accountable for things that we weren’t responsible for. We are judged, not based on some absolute standard, but based on what we have done with what we were given. People who do good, if modest, things with their lives having come from very difficult circumstances growing up will be greater in heaven than people who had all the earthly advantages, and spent their lives thinking mostly of themselves. It is how we love and serve our fellow human beings every day that matters, not our financial and social position in society.

      I hope this helps. If you have further thoughts or questions, please feel free to continue the conversation. Meanwhile, Godspeed on your spiritual journey!

  33. Chris says:

    Hi Lee, what do you think of Bible verse Matthew22:30 where Jesus said there is no marriage in Heaven and everyone become angels?

  34. Wow, bud. says:

    Some issues right out the gate.
    You look to some guy named Emmanuel who wrote a book who “heard” from an angel?
    Where is the scripture? Where is the biblical grounds for this thinking? Where is this in the Bible? In fact, there’s not a single scripture in this entire piece. Very odd considering you are a Christian writing on Christianity. You have a responsibility to point to Gods word with is truth. Not mans or his interpretation.

    2nd, earthly marriage was ultimately to reflect the love the Bridegroom Jesus has for His bride, the church. Once we are together in heaven there will be no need for a “place holder”, so to speak, as we will have the true Bridegroom in our midst.

    I would challenge you to reconsider this entire article as you will be held accountable for the false teaching and false hope you place in ppl for tickling their ears with words they want to hear rather than the truth of God. (And id do it quick because the hour is late and He is returning for His bride, the church very soon.)

    • Lee says:

      Hi Wow, bud,

      It would probably be better just to delete your comment (see our comments policy, points 8 & 9). But this time I’ll respond just in case you’re not one of the usual hit-and-run fundamentalists who regularly come by here to spout their unbiblical and fleshly-minded beliefs.

      In fact, the beliefs expressed here are far more biblical than what traditional Christianity teaches. Most of what traditional Christianity teaches, including in its Protestant wing, is never stated anywhere in the Bible, but was made up by human councils and theologians hundreds or even over a thousand of years after the Bible was written. See: “Christian Beliefs” that the Bible Doesn’t Teach and the articles linked from it.

      About marriage in heaven, the traditional Christian claim that Jesus said there is no marriage in the afterlife is simply incorrect. He said no such thing. See:

      Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?

      This article is the very first one linked for further reading from the bottom of the above article. Anyone who cares to take the time to learn something can find the biblical basis for our beliefs about marriage in heaven simply by clicking a few links and doing a bit of reading.

      It is your beliefs, my friend, that are unbiblical and false, because you do not pay attention to what the Bible actually says, but follow human creeds and human theologians, who are blind leaders of the blind.

      Yes, human marriage reflects the marriage of the Lord and the Church. But that doesn’t mean human marriage is invalid or only temporary. We humans were created in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26–27; 5:1). Therefore our human relationships also reflect God’s relationships. That is why God gave us marriage as an eternal joy, to reflect the joy of God’s relationship as a Bridegroom with the Bride, which is all people who love God.

      Further, Jesus said that God has joined man and woman together in marriage (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9), and “I know that everything God does will endure forever” (Ecclesiastes 3:14). Therefore “Christian” teachers and preachers who say that when God joins a man and woman together in marriage, it is only temporary, and ends at death, are in error because they do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.

  35. Rai says:

    This article is a breath of fresh air. As one who encountered disappointments and felt depressed in relationships many times in the past, this is a blessing. Thank you so much for making Me shed tears of joy

    • Lee says:

      Hi Rai,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment. I’m glad this article was so helpful for you. Godspeed on your spiritual journey!

  36. J says:

    Hello Lee,

    I have a few questions about life on the New Earth. Could a person who will be celibate for eternity choose not to live with other celibate people when he or she is living on the New Earth? Could a celibate person live alone when he or she is living on the New Earth? I know a few people who have deeply committed themselves to celibacy and I believe that they will likely be celibate for eternity.

    I know someone who wishes to remain celibate for eternity, and he would prefer to live alone for eternity. He has many close friends who will be married for eternity. Any answers would be appreciated!

    • Lee says:

      Hi J,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment.

      First, for the purposes of responding to your query, I’m going to read “the New Earth” as “heaven.” I do not believe in a literal destruction of the earth and a literal new earth. See:

      Is the World Coming to an End? What about the Second Coming?

      About people committed to celibacy in heaven, Swedenborg says that such people can remain celibate to eternity, but that they live in a separate community off toward the edges of heaven, separate from married people, since the atmosphere of celibacy conflicts with the atmosphere of marriage. I do not believe this necessarily means that celibates will never be able to have any interaction with married people in heaven. It may be similar to monasteries here on earth, where men and women who have taken vows of celibacy live separate from the regular communities where people commonly marry and have families.

      In these statements, Swedenborg was referring to people who have taken religious vows of celibacy, and who cling to those vows even when they are released from them in the afterlife. The issue here is that such people believe that celibacy is a superior, and more spiritual, state than marriage, based on a faulty and literalistic reading of certain statements in the New Testament. Such people will indeed exude an atmosphere that is bothersome to happily and spiritually married people in heaven. Therefore they must be kept separate from communities where married people live. However, in their own communities, with their fellow celibates, they can live a satisfying life, even if they cannot experience the full joy of heaven, which is intrinsically a married state, as the Bible says.

      About your friends who are committed to celibacy, their state in the afterlife will depend upon their reasons for choosing celibacy over marriage, and upon whether they remain committed to celibacy even in the greater warmth and light of heaven.

      Some people eschew marriage because they have gotten burned by spouses who took advantage of them and hurt them in various ways. Such people will have their relationship wounds healed in the other life. Then, if they still have some underlying longing to share their life with a partner, but were just too hurt here on earth to risk it, God will give them a partner in marriage who will truly love and care about them, and will not hurt them the way their wife or husband on earth did. This, I suspect, is what will happen for many men in the MGTOW community. (See: “The Red Pill Movement (MGTOW): Men Waking Up as Loners.”)

      Beyond that, your celibate friends’ state in the afterlife would depend upon their reason for preferring celibacy, and their attitude toward marriage.

      If they have a negative attitude toward marriage, and believe that celibacy, and celibates, are superior to marriage, they will not be able to live and interact with married people in heaven. That’s because in heaven, all of our thoughts and feelings form a tangible atmosphere around us, and are seen and felt by everyone around us. For married people, having people around who have a negative attitude toward marriage would be like sitting in Central Park trying to enjoy a game of chess with a friend while someone is standing nearby yelling, “Chess is an idiotic game for morons!”

      If, however, your friends simply do not personally want to be married, but think marriage is fine for people who want to be married, then it is possible that they could keep company with married friends, even if they could not fully engage in their married friends’ lives because of their single status.

      As for living alone, this is also possible. Swedenborg even says that some of the best of the angels live alone—though he is referring to angels who are married couples living off by themselves. Still, there must be a dedication to loving and serving one’s fellow people. If “living alone” means, “not having to deal with all those pesky people, or do anything for them,” such a person will live alone in hell, not in heaven. Everyone in heaven loves to serve others. However, there are some useful jobs that are necessarily solitary, such as, to use an earthly example, lighthouse keepers who live at a remote lighthouse and keep it running day and night to keep passing ships safe from the dangerous shoals. Such people are serving others while living a solitary life.

      I hope these thoughts are helpful to you. Feel free to continue the conversation if you have further thoughts or questions.

  37. J says:

    Thank you for your reply Lee. The person I know who wants to remain celibate thinks that marriage is fine for people who are married. He will serve others. He will invite friends around to his home. The people I know that want to remain celibate simply don’t want to be married and they want to live with other celibate people. They think that marriage is fine for people who are married. I have a question regarding married people. Will a married couple live with other married people when there living in heaven? Could a married couple choose not to live with other married people? Thank you for your time.

    • Lee says:

      Hi J,

      Glad to hear it.

      Yes, married couples can choose to live off by themselves in heaven if they wish. Most people prefer living in smaller or larger communities of people: villages, towns, and cities. But some people are just different from others, and don’t really mesh with whole communities of people. Such people, Swedenborg says, will indeed live alone. He also says that such people are among the best of the angels.

      This doesn’t mean they never see anyone else. During the day they may travel into the big city to engage in their work. But they will then return to their own solitary home in a rural area, where they can relax and be fully themselves. I think of great historical figures such as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Thomas Jefferson, Nelson Mandela, and Emanuel Swedenborg, who indeed engaged with the world, and changed the world, but who were in a class by themselves, such that few people inhabited the “mind space” that they inhabited. Such people, I expect, will have their own unique place in heaven, where few others can live, from which they will go out into the spiritual world around them to do their work.

      And then there may be some people who just prefer to live a solitary life with their partner in marriage, or even alone by themselves. As long as they are engaged in some regular occupation that is of benefit to others, even if they don’t directly interact with others much, then they, too, will have their place in heaven.

      • J says:

        Could some married couples that live off by themselves not work in a city? Where could they work?

        • Lee says:

          Hi J,

          Yes. Angels don’t have to go anywhere they don’t want to. Angel couples could indeed live off by themselves and not go to the city if that is how they want to live. And just as here on earth in our modern age, it would be perfectly possible for them to work from home rather than commuting to work in the big city.

        • J says:

          Thank you for your reply Lee. I have several questions about life in Heaven. How would a married who couple who live off by themselves serve people while working at home? Would they talk to others on a computer via a video call and or by email or messaging? Will serving God and serving your fellow human beings be one job? Will people worship God when there not working by going to the temple? Will worshipping God be seperate from working? Could a married couple who live off by themselves never interact with anyone in person? Could a married couple who live off by themselves never see a person?

          Will people be assigned a galaxy in the universe and will they have to give God a progress report on there galaxy occasionally? Will everyone build homes in heaven? Will everyone eat fruit from the vineyards and drink?

          Thank you for your time.

        • Lee says:

          Hi J,

          Thanks for your questions.

          First, before answering them, may I recommend that you get a copy of Swedenborg’s book Heaven and Hell, and read it? This will give you a much clearer idea of how things work, and what people’s lives are like, in the spiritual world. Here is a link to my brief review of that book, which has links to where you can either purchase it or download free electronic versions:

          Heaven and Hell, by Emanuel Swedenborg

          Now to answer your questions:

          Angels in heaven have many different jobs—in fact, there are more types of jobs in heaven than there are here on earth. However, they are jobs that “correspond” spiritually to the jobs on earth, so it’s a little hard for us here on earth to fully understand exactly what many of the angels’ jobs are. However, Swedenborg does specifically mention teachers and preachers, foster parents (for children who have died), community leaders who take care of the civic affairs of their communities, and so on. There are also angels who help people who have just died, and guide them through their entrance into the spiritual world. And there are angels who serve as guardian angels for people still living on earth.

          Though it may be hard for us to understand what solitary angels do, consider that here on earth there are people who mostly live alone, such as, in earlier eras, people who lived in unpopulated areas and hunted and fished, or trapped animals for their furs, and only occasionally made the trip to the nearest trading post to sell what they have produced, and purchase what they need. Or consider, also in olden times, a woman who lived with her husband on the frontier, but had her own business making clothing, which she would sell in the nearest town, and use the proceeds to purchase more cloth and thread for her sewing business, and also food and trade goods for her husband and children. Such people, though they spend most of their time alone or just with their immediate family, do make contact with other people from time to time in the course of their business and their life.

          It could be similar for people who live alone with their spouse in heaven, only they would be producing spiritual “goods” rather than physical ones. Exactly how this would work, I’m not sure I could say. But I do know that people in heaven can live either with many people in a city, or with a few people in a village, or alone with their husband or wife, and regardless of that, every angel has some good and useful work to do that he or she loves to do.

          As for using our computer and Internet technology to connect with other people, while that would certainly be possible in the spiritual world, all that communications tech isn’t really necessary in heaven, since the ability to communicate with others over long distances is built right into the “operating system” of the spiritual world. However, it wouldn’t surprise me if people from our day and age continue to use the computers and smartphones that they are used to here on earth. Except I think and hope that they won’t crash so much! And that robocallers will spend an eternity in hell answering robocalls from their own machines! 😀

          About serving God and serving our fellow humans as one job, Jesus himself answers this question in Matthew 25:31–46. There he tells us, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” When we serve other people we are also serving God. God is present with every person on earth and in heaven, and God feels the comfort and joy that people feel when someone else does a kind deed for them. So in a very real sense, every time we give others help, comfort, and joy, we are giving God help, comfort, and joy through God’s love for the people we are serving.

          Of course, there are some people who “serve God” in a more literal way by serving as ministers and teachers of God’s Word. But even these people are really serving God by serving other people. In the spiritual world, people still do go to church and hear sermons preached by angel preachers. So there is worship of God of the type we have in church here on earth. However, the services are focused on teaching and inspiring people to live a good life, and to develop themselves spiritually and in their will and ability to serve others. There is no need for churches to “save” people because they are already saved. But even the angels in heaven are not perfect, and they don’t know everything. They are still learning. So they have periodic Sabbaths on which they take a break from their regular life and their jobs and come together to learn more about God and spiritual life. Then they return to their regular life with new insight and understanding, and a new commitment to love their neighbor as themselves.

          In another sense, though, serving other people is worshiping God, because it is following God’s commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves, and it is giving God joy in the joy of the people we are serving. So for the angels, every day is a “day of worship” in their daily service of other angels and spirits and of people living on earth.

          Back to married couples living by themselves, they could also be serving as guardian angels to people on earth, so that they would not need to interact with other angels in heaven. It seems unlikely that they would never see another person in heaven, but there may be some who rarely see other people. Once again, though, this is all based on what the angels themselves want. No angel is forced to see other people, nor is any angel forced to live alone. Angels are free to live as they wish. However, every angel loves God and loves other people, so every angel will serve others in some way, because that is what gives them the most joy and satisfaction in life. Anyone who has no desire to love and serve anyone else will spend eternity in hell, not in heaven. And serving one’s own spouse is not sufficient, since in heaven, a married couple is seen as one angel.

          As for people being assigned galaxies in heaven, that would probably be a bigger task than any one angel could handle. After all, we humans here on earth are doing well if we even do a good job of looking out for our own city or country, let alone having to take care of an entire galaxy. Swedenborg does, however, describe some angels who love to travel around to many different areas of heaven where people from different planets live, visiting other cultures and learning their knowledge and their ways of living.

          And finally, whether or not people actually build houses for themselves, or plant vineyards, people in heaven do live in whatever houses or homes they enjoy most, and they do have fine food and drink to satisfy their hunger and thirst. People eat and drink whatever they most enjoy, but since it is spiritual food, it also satisfies their spiritual hunger and thirst. And usually their homes are provided for them by the Lord rather than their having to build them. They will live in whatever type of home they enjoy the most, in whatever kind of surroundings they enjoy the most. But for most, it is the people and the community that they are most interested in, rather than the particular houses they live in and the particular food and drink they consume. Meals are as much about sharing time, thoughts, and feelings with their angelic brothers and sisters as they are about eating and drinking.

          I hope this helps to answer your questions. And once again, I highly recommend that you read Heaven and Hell. There are whole chapters in that book that answer many of the questions you have asked here.

        • J says:

          Thank you for your reply Lee. Will everyone in heaven have to go to church and worship God? Will everyone in heaven have to worship God? Will there be day and night in heaven? How much free time will everyone in heaven have? How often will everyone work in heaven?

          Thank you for your time.

        • Lee says:

          Hi J,

          No one in heaven is compelled to do anything. Angels don’t have to go to church. Rather, they want to go to church. They enjoy it and gain from it. However, the services in heaven seem not to be the highly ritualized types of worship common in traditional Christian churches here on earth. Whatever the services are like, they are a great joy to the angels.

          In heaven there isn’t a dark night as there is on earth. However, there is a twilight time, in which the light is dim compared to the daytime. Angels do sleep during this time, just as we sleep at night on earth.

          Angels’ daily rounds and routines do vary greatly. But in general, the working day is not as long as it is here on earth. A common pattern is for angels to do their work in the morning, and then have the afternoon free for recreation and other activities. Angels do ordinarily work every day except the Sabbath. However, keep in mind that angels enjoy their work. They find it very satisfying and fulfilling. So once again, it’s not a situation of angels being required to work even if they don’t want to. They look forward to their work each day.

        • Lone Wolf Archangel says:

          Then another question I ponder based on this discussion is even if we’re not obligated to do whatever it might be…do we still have the option of learning things from the Great Teacher Himself? (Our Lord & Savior Jesus) That is one thing I have truly pondered and looked forward to next to meeting Him and being reunited with my family again.

        • Lee says:

          Hi Lone Wolf Archangel,

          Jesus can and does appear in person to angels from time to time. This is not an everyday occurrence, and it does depend upon the spiritual state of the angels themselves.

          The most common way that the angels experience the Lord, though, is that the Lord is within the sun of heaven, which is in the east of heaven, midway up the sky. And what is wonderful, angels constantly face east, where the sun of heaven is, no matter which way they turn their bodies. When the wiser angels seek understanding and inspiration, they can look up toward the Lord as the sun of heaven, and receive the answers they are looking for.

        • J says:

          Thank you for your reply Lee. How long will a day last in heaven? There will the morning, afternoon, and twilight, which might last until the next morning. A day might be 24 hours long in heaven.

          Thank you for your time.

        • Lee says:

          Hi J,

          Days in heaven will feel like they last about the same as a day on earth. However, though it’s hard for us earth-dwellers to comprehend while we’re still embedded in time and space, there is no time and space in the spiritual world. So “how long will a day last in heaven” is a trick question.

          To get a better idea of how it works, please read the chapter on “Time in Heaven” starting at Heaven and Hell #162.

  38. J says:

    Hi Lee,

    I’m 18. My soulmate could be living on Earth. If she’s my age or older, and if she’s living overseas, how could God bring me together with her by fate? I have no plans on ever travelling overseas.

    Melania Trump is 24 years younger than Donald Trump. She met her husband when she was 26. The age gap between them didn”t matter as she was well and truly an adult when she met him. A person becomes an adult when they reach there 20th birthday according to the bible. Could my soulmate not exist? I could meet my soulmate in 32 years, and she might be 30 years old when I meet her.

    • Lee says:

      Hi J,

      In these matters, we have to trust that God is all-loving, all-wise, and all-powerful, and is able to bring about what needs to happen, whether in this world or in the next.

      Since you are 18, you have your whole adult life ahead of you. There will be plenty of time and opportunity for God to bring you together with your soulmate. Yes, she could be living overseas. But she could also be living in the next town over. Only God knows.

      Meanwhile, your job is to do the work in front of you and within you to make yourself into the man who will be a good husband for the woman God has in mind for you. None of God’s promises can come to fruition for us if we don’t do our part, as God has commanded us. We must put our hand to the plow, and not look back.

      If you do your part, God will do God’s part. God already knows the woman who is out there for you. You will meet her in due time, under God’s providence.

      • J says:

        Thank you for your comment Lee. As you said, I will likely meet my soulmate during my life. Your blog is a breath of fresh air and I enjoy reading it.

  39. Aww, no babies born in heaven? Babies are cute, and also, whatever happened to be fruitful and multiply?

    Didn’t God command for humans to be fruitful and multiply for eternity?

    To be fair, there’s a difference between the present heaven and the eternal heaven. The eternal heaven is on Earth. Will there be babies born on the New Earth? If not, why? Even to the resurrected Millenial saints?

    • Lee says:

      Hi WorldQuestioner,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and questions.

      Here is what God said when God first created humans:

      God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:28, italics added)

      God specifically says to fill (“replenish” in the KJV) the earth and to subdue the earth. God doesn’t say to replenish the heavens, nor does God say anything about being fruitful and multiplying for eternity.

      I am aware that some Christians believe that our eternal life will be on a new earth. However, I don’t think there is strong support for this idea in the Bible. Jesus told the thief on the cross, “Today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43). That would not be possible if heaven were on a future new earth. And in the Parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus in Luke 16:19–31, the rich man is already in hell and Lazarus is already in Abraham’s bosom while the rich man’s brothers are still alive on earth. That would not be possible if heaven were in the physical world.

      Also, everything John saw in his visions in the book of Revelation was in the spiritual world, not the physical world. It is not biblical to say that all of these things will happen in the physical world. See:

      Is the World Coming to an End? What about the Second Coming?

      More specifically about babies in heaven, please see:

      If We Don’t Have Children while Alive, Will We Be Able to Have Children in the Afterlife?

      • Did God originally intend for Adam and Eve and their offspring to get to the spiritual world (heaven) had the fall of sin not occurred?
        Did God originally intend for the propogation of the human race (by propogation) to end had the fall of sin not occurred?
        Why doesn’t God just have humans be fruitful and multiply until the population gets to infinity, which takes literally forever to happen. Literally would take forever for the population to get infinite. Literally. So it would never get infinite, but just grow forever
        Could you please comment on the page
        Post the comment on that site, in the comment section of that post, not here on Give you dispute, and say why you disagree, and what you think. So he can hear your opinions. And hear what Jack Wellman has to say in response.

        • Lee says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner,

          First, it is a mistake to think that the early chapters of Genesis are or ever were meant to be taken literally. These are “parables,” or symbolic stories, not literal stories. They are talking about the spiritual origins and spiritual life of humanity, not about our physical origins. For example, in Genesis 2:16–17, God says to Adam (which means “humankind”):

          You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die.

          But Adam and Eve did not literally die “in the day that they ate of it.” (It really should be translated “on the day that you eat of it.”) Rather, when they ate from that tree:

          Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves. (Genesis 3:9)

          There have been various attempts to finesse this, such as saying that on that day it will become certain that they will die, but that’s just not what the Hebrew says. That statement cannot be taken literally, because it was not literally fulfilled. But Adam and Eve did have a spiritual death that day, in that they lost their innocence, and were ejected from the Garden of Eden as a result.

          Also, the two Creation stories cannot both be literally true, because they contradict each other on many details about the order in which things were created, how they were created, and so on. There is more about that in this article:

          Man, Woman, and the Two Creation Stories of Genesis

          To directly answer your question, I believe that God created Adam and Eve and their children (who are really representatives of the entire human race that God originally created) to go to the spiritual world after they died. I do not believe they were created to live forever on this earth. Even when the Bible says:

          Then the Lord God said, “See, the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from which he was taken. He drove out the man; and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim, and a sword flaming and turning to guard the way to the tree of life. (Genesis 3:22–24)

          I do not believe it is talking about living forever physically on this earth, but rather about spiritual life. However, that is a complicated statement to unpack, and there is not time for it now.

          For more on these early stories and the Bible’s spiritual meaning, please see:

          Can We Really Believe the Bible?

          On your next question, regardless of whether the Fall occurred, I believe God intended the propagation of the human race to continue as long as the earth endures. Consider the final words of God’s promise to Noah after the Flood had subsided:

          As long as the earth endures,
          seedtime and harvest, cold and heat,
          summer and winter, day and night,
          shall not cease. (Genesis 8:22)

          Not forever, but as long as the earth endures. Yes, this could simply be a poetic way of saying “forever.” But it doesn’t say “forever.”

          About your third question, I believe that God has provided for humans to be fruitful and multiply far beyond the ability of this earth to support them all at once. Consider that and our race, Homo Sapiens, has existed on earth for only about three hundred thousand years. And consider that we will probably be able to live on this earth for at least another billion years. That’s over three thousand times longer than we have been on earth so far. Clearly, there is the potential for humans to be fruitful and multiply far beyond the ability of this planet even to fit us all, let alone feed us all. Meanwhile, we will likely have developed the ability to colonize other planets, meaning that it is likely we will continue to be fruitful and multiply at least as long as our galaxy has any planets habitable by humans.

          By contrast, if we all must continue to be fruitful and multiply while every human born continues to live on this earth, there will come a time when it must stop because there will be no more room for us.

          If you want a situation in which God can continue to create more and more people without running out of space, then it is a much better arrangement to have people born in the physical world, and then live to eternity in the spiritual world where there are no space limitations. That is precisely what I believe God has done.

          Thanks also for the link to the article by Jack Wellman. As with most articles written by traditional Christians on the subject of marriage in heaven, I believe it has many errors based on a literal interpretation of the Bible and on a physical-minded view of marriage, in which the only purpose of sex is reproduction. However, I have no interest in going to another pastor’s blog and starting a debate there. He is not going to change his views. And I am not going to disrupt his ministry by going to his blog and telling him that he is wrong.

          But about Jesus’ words on marriage in the resurrection, please see this article:

          Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?

          The simple fact of the matter is that Jesus did not say there is no marriage in heaven. He said people don’t get married in heaven. There’s a big difference!

        • What about the Millenium? Are you premillenial, postmillennial, or amillennial?

          Adam and Eve died spiritually immediately when they ate the forbidden fruit. And their bodies were beginning to die. It didn’t say that they would physically die suddenly, did it? The death just took hundreds of years. You could say that that’s like saying we are dying, it just takes… say 80 years. Do you think it’s like saying we have been dying since we were infants? Look at what Walt Brown has to say. Look at the article “Is evolution compatible with the Bible?” On I don’t know the link, because I’m replying from my iPad where I can only access specific sites (therefore, not Google, Bing, or Yahoo! Search). I did link Jack Wellman to your article. And he responded on his own site. I comment on both yours and his.

          As for no babies born in heaven, what about intermediate compensation time? Do you believe in 10 dimensions? I was hoping that if a person didn’t have children when alive, they would have compensation in the afterlife to have children. What would Hugh Ross say? He is the one that proposed progressive creationism. He believed in multiple dimensions. Joel 2:25-32 should mean “I will restore to you the offspring the locusts have eaten” or “I will restore to you the romance the locusts have eaten.” Luke 6:21 – why doesn’t God say “blessed are you who are childless now and really want to have children, for you will have offspring” or “Blessed are you who are single now and really want to get married and have romance, for you will have the finest partner”?

        • Lee says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner,

          About your first round of questions:

          Most of these issues arise because there are so many religious people who can think only materially, not spiritually. They therefore think that the Bible has to be literally accurate as a source of scientific and historical knowledge. Since these people’s faith depends upon this, it is useless to argue with them. They can believe the Bible only if they think it is all literally true and accurate. They therefore must reject anything that conflicts with a literal interpretation of the Bible. Otherwise they would lose faith altogether, and would plunge into all sorts of bad behavior. It is only their sense of obedience to the Bible that keeps them on the strait and narrow.

          This is why I do not argue with biblical literalists. And it’s why I am not very interested in looking up the Walt Brown material. Nor am I interested in getting into a debate with Jack Wellman. It would be a waste of breath.

          The truth is that the Bible was never intended to be a textbook on science and history. It was meant to be a guide for our spiritual life. It was meant to provide us with a pathway to eternal life. For people who can think only materially (“fleshly” people, in Bible terms), it does so on the basis of threats of physical punishment for disobedience, and promises of material rewards for obedience. But for people who can think spiritually, a whole new and higher realm of meaning opens up in the Bible.

          That is the realm I focus on when I read the Bible. See:

          Can We Really Believe the Bible?

          Premillennialism and postmillennialism are based on a materialistic interpretation of the Bible. But none of the prophecies in the book of Revelation will happen physically. Amillennialism is basically a catch-all for lack of belief in those literal interpretations of the thousand year reign in Revelation. So in that sense, I guess we would be amillennial. But that doesn’t really describe what we do believe. Only what we don’t believe. So it’s not very useful. Here is an article that provides some of the basics of what we believe about the book of Revelation and the Second Coming:

          Is the World Coming to an End? What about the Second Coming?

          In particular, both the first ten or eleven chapters of Genesis and the entire book of Revelation—the beginning and the end of the Bible, are written in a purely symbolic style. They were never meant to be taken literally, even by their original human authors. Reading them as literal history and as prophecies of literal future events will lead only to error and confusion.

          When God tells Adam that if he eats from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, on that day he will die, it has nothing to do with physical death. It is talking about the spiritual death that results from sin. Trying to figure out how it relates to physical death is entirely fruitless, and completely misses the point of the story. Please see:

          Which Tree is in the Middle of Your Garden?

          Video version:

        • Lee says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner,

          About your second round of questions:

          Babies are not a reward for good behavior. They are new human beings, and potential new angels, temporarily entrusted to our care here on earth. For the general answer to your questioning about having children in the afterlife, please read this article:

          If We Don’t Have Children while Alive, Will We Be Able to Have Children in the Afterlife?

          We can continue the conversation in the comments section on that article if you wish.

        • But couldn’t God rearrange the human family tree, perhaps by reincarnation of the offspring to birth to different parents? One-time reincarnation?

          This leads me to wonder, do you believe in the ultimate reconciliation, annihilationism, or eternal conscious punishment of hell? Always consider psokarios (I might have spelled it incorrectly) vs. aion (which I absolutely spelled correctly). The former is temporary.

          Aion may mean “eternity,” “time,” “age,” “world,” or “existence.”

          Check the Hebrew and Greek context.

          Forget the gap theory. The waw conjunction is the problem. But I think the Hebrew word translated “and” in “and it was so” in each day of Genesis is also the Hebrew letter waw. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the waw conjunction In Genesis 1:2 is the same Hebrew word (actually letter) translated “and” in “and it was so.” And the Hebrew word for “was” in Genesis 1:2 is the same Hebrew word translated “was” in each day “and it was so.”

          Ever heard of the Framework theory and the Revelation theory?

          Do you consider intelligent design (Michael Behe, William Dembski, and Discovery Institute) valid? Intelligent design isn’t the same as creationism.

          Have you been over Answers In Genesis, CreationWiki, GotQuestions, Conservapedia (namely, and, Institute of Creation Research, and “In the Beginning: Compelling Evidence for Creation and the Flood”? Conservapedia and CreationWiki were both made in response to Wikipedia’s liberal bias. Also search on Google “TalkOrigins” Answers In Genesis does respond to refutations. I believe TalkOrigins does have some good points and that not all creationist arguments are valid. Do you believe in punctuated equilibrium or phyletic gradualism?

          Forget the day-age theory.

          Do you believe in a merged timeline? Can two different pasts have identical futures? Evolution and creation being the two pasts? I came up with that idea. Evolution (whether macroevolution or not) is obviously the consequence of the fall of sin, because death did not exist before sin, because that would defeat the point of a savior. And there was no sin before the fall unless there was a pre-Adamic race.

          Both the literal genesis account of creation AND evolution happened, just in two different aions. I’m using the Greek word, because no English word is as good. Two different timelines, dimensions, or such. It’s my idea. Maybe the flood is multidimensional.

          Forget the gap theory. Forget day-age creationism. Ten dimensions is the key to reconciling evolution with Genesis. Hugh Ross would agree… partly. He didn’t accept the theory of evolution but he did believe in an old Earth.

          The first day of creation started with Genesis 1:3, not with 1:1. However, have you been over Exodus 20:11? In six days. All that is in them. However, if “all that is in them” means all the stars existing today and all of the kinds of life existing today, it would also mean all the individual humans. If new humans are born, then new kinds of life can evolve and new stars can form. It’s probably not concrete and exact. It probably didn’t mean that God created the heavens and the Earth (formless and void) right on the start of day 1. It’s probably a reference that six days were in the book of Genesis. And in the six days Genesis 1:3 and later could still be creating the heavens and the Earth. I wish I could explain it better. And “let there be light” was obviously the start of days and nights. Because light and darkness weren’t separate in Genesis 1:2, so it was not in a day. It was in a night. Sorry for being verbose. It’s just hard to explain.

          Non-linear time? In day 3, the plants were inserted to different points of time. Day 4, the sun, moon, and stars were inserted to a point of time just millions of years before the Earth and billions of years before fruit trees. That’s also my idea. The six days were outside of time.

          See my blog at and You don’t argue with the latter though do you?

        • Lee says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner,

          Once again, most of these issues become non-issues as soon as a person stops trying to take everything in the Bible literally. Jesus said:

          It is the spirit that gives life; the flesh is useless. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. (John 6:63)

          (See: Eat My Flesh, Drink My Blood)

          Paul said:

          Our competence is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of letter but of spirit; for the letter kills, but the spirit gives life. (2 Corinthians 3:5–6)

          Ken Ham and the answersingenesis people are not getting their competence from God. They are ministers of the letter, not of the spirit. I have occasionally looked at some of their material, and also the material at gotquestions. It all shows an entire lack of understanding of the spirit and truth of the Bible.

          The Creation stories in Genesis are not about the literal, physical creation of the physical universe. They are about God’s creating us spiritually as “new creatures in Christ.” See:

          Heaven, Regeneration, and the Meaning of Life on Earth

          On reincarnation, please see:

          The Bible, Emanuel Swedenborg, and Reincarnation

          About hell, yes, there is an eternal hell for those who choose to go there. It is not eternal conscious torment. The biblical descriptions of hell are metaphorical, not literal. See:

          Is There Really a Hell? What is it Like?

          That’s enough for now.

        • Lee says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner,

          I am not an expert on evolution. However, even with my less-than-expert scientific knowledge, whenever I read creationist stuff, I see gaping holes in both its science and its logic. If such people require these types of arguments to sustain their very materialistic faith, I have no interest in arguing with them. But once you leave materialism behind, there is no need for such arguments. A spiritual faith has no argument with science. A spiritual faith recognizes that religion and the Bible are about spiritual matters, not about material and scientific matters. See:

          Can We Really Believe the Bible?

        • Lee says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner,

          I have read these two articles before. They are a fine example of people who have a wrong view of the Bible doing their best to make the Bible say what they want it to say rather than simply reading what the Bible does say.

          It is true that some translations interpret some of the verbs in Genesis 2 as being in the pluperfect (past perfect tense) rather than the perfect (past tense). But there is no reason in the original Hebrew to do so. All of these verbs are in the same ordinary form. In a natural reading of Hebrew narrative style, they would be simple perfect tense verbs: “God did this, then God did that.” Some translators make them pluperfect (God had done this, then God did that) only because a natural reading of the Hebrew contradicts their literal and materialistic view of the Bible.

          Another favorite, but unbiblical, idea of the literalists is that the second creation story is a zooming in and recapitulation of the sixth day of Creation in Genesis 1.

          The Bible simply doesn’t say this.

          It could have if it wanted to.

          But it simply doesn’t say, “These are the generations of the heavens and the earth on the sixth day of creation.” No, it says, “These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created” (Genesis 2:4).

          And it simply doesn’t say, “In the sixth day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens . . .” No, it says, “In the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens . . .” (Genesis 2:5).

          Biblical literalists such as the Answers In Genesis and Got Questions people are adding words to the Bible in order to support their unbiblical literalism. Nowhere in the Bible does it say, “The Bible is divinely inspired and inerrant throughout. Its assertions are factually true in all the original autographs. It is the supreme authority in everything it teaches. Its authority is not limited to spiritual, religious, or redemptive themes but includes its assertions in such fields as history and science.” These are human-invented dogmas that are stated nowhere in the Bible.

          Further, these articles are incorrect to say that the word for “plants” in Genesis 1 is different from the word for “plants” in Genesis 2. It is true that there is more than one word used for “plants” in the two Creation stories. But the Hebrew word עֵשֶׂב (ʿēśeḇ) is used both in Genesis 1:11–12, where God creates it before the creation of human beings, and in Geneses 2:5, where it states that God had not yet caused them to grow when God created adam (humankind) from the dust of the earth.

          On point after point, the Answers in Genesis and Got Questions people are twisting and turning the text of the Bible in order to support their false, literalistic, and materialistic interpretation of the Bible. The Hebrew text of the Bible simply doesn’t support their views.

          They should search the scriptures. If they did, they would find that Jesus said:

          It is the spirit that gives life; the flesh is useless. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. (John 6:63)

          And that Paul said:

          Our competence is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of letter but of spirit; for the letter kills, but the spirit gives life. (2 Corinthians 3:5–6)

          Instead, these so-called Christians cling to the flesh, which is useless, and to the letter, which kills, while rejecting the spirit and life of the Bible, and of the Lord’s words in it.

        • Someone told me that Genesis 2 is more literal and Genesis 1 is more figurative.

        • Lee says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner,

          What do you think of that idea?

        • Not sure. It doesn’t reconcile that part of Genesis with evolution.

        • Lee says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner,

          I agree. I suspect it is an effort to reconcile the two Creation accounts with one another.

  40. Angela says:

    This is completely misguiding. No scripture is quoted and the guy referenced says he was told by angels. That should sound off major alarm bells for Christians. Because Satan is said to be disguised as an Angel of light in the Bible. I admit I did a search online even though I know Jesus says in the Bible that no one will be given in marriage in the Bible and that we’ll be like the angels in heaven—which I think the Bible indicates they do not have relationships, I could be wrong there. But I know for sure that Jesus says in the Bible that no one will be given in marriage.

    Anyways, I know it’s heartbreaking, I’m in the same boat as most people who visit this page most likely.

    But, everyone this is definitely false teaching.

    Maybe it’s too difficult for us to understand but maybe in Heaven there won’t be relationships like on earth. Maybe we’ll be changed too and no longer have our earthly feelings. And so maybe the love of friendship between everyone will really be okay. And so maybe we need to try to not worry about it. Anyways God bless.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Angela,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment.

      Jesus said:

      I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. (John 15:11)


      Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. (John 16:24)

      The way of Jesus is a way of joy. But your “Christian” teachers have taught you a way of heartbreak. That is not the way of Jesus.

      To be very specific, Jesus said that in the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. He did not say that they won’t be married. His words have a specific meaning, and it’s not that there is no marriage in heaven. That is a false and unbiblical teaching made up by human beings. Please see this article for what Jesus actually did say:

      Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?

      Jesus also said:

      You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free. (John 8:32)

      When you reject the unbiblical falsity that you have been taught about marriage and relationships in heaven, and come to know the truth, then you will be free from the heartbreak you now feel due to dark-minded teachers of a dark religion. That religion is nothing like the way of Jesus, which is a way of light and of joy.

      Meanwhile, Godspeed on your spiritual journey.

  41. Carol Ferguson says:

    What if i am a man or woman here on earth and did not get along with my spouse at all. Would God put us together in Heaven with possibly more likable personalities? I was married two times and neither husband was my true love and soul mate and i would not want to be with either of them for eternity.I am single now .your thoughts?

    • Lee says:

      Hi Carol,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question.

      Short answer: If neither of your husbands was your true love and soulmate, you will not be with either one of them for eternity. If you see them in the spiritual world at all after you die, it will just be to check in. In heaven, the only thing that keeps two people together is an inner oneness of mind and heart.

      For a longer answer, please see:

      If You’ve been Married More than Once, Which One will you be With in the Afterlife?

      This article is aimed at people who actually were in love with their husband or wife. But the general principles are the same. As mentioned occasionally even in this article, if none of a person’s earthly partners was right, she or he will find a new partner in the spiritual world who will be the right one.

  42. Jason says:

    I have wanted to be married since before I felt attracted to women. Being unmarried in my 40s had left me feeling like I missed out on one of the most important parts of life.

    Finding your website, and then reading Swedensborg’s Love in Marriage has given me a new sense of hope.

    Even if it doesn’t happen in this life, I have faith I can finally find a wife in the next one.

    • Lee says:

      Hi Jason,

      Thanks for stopping by and telling your story. Glad to hear that Love in Marriage and this website have given you some hope. It’s not nice being lonely. But having some hope that this is not an eternal situation can at least help you to soldier through.

      Also some incentive to work on your spiritual life. The more you can develop yourself in love and understanding, and in service to your fellow human beings, while you are living here on earth, the happier will be your life in heaven with your eternal wife. At least this can give you some reason to get up out of bed in the morning.

      And so . . . Godspeed on your spiritual journey.

  43. Caio says:

    Hi Lee. I wrote you an email a while ago about topics of spiritualism in Brazil but at that time I hadn’t explored all of your blog yet, so not long after I saw that you had already addressed that topic of my question in your article about contacting spirits 😉 My question this time however is about soulmates! According to your article and Swedenborg himself, God is preparing us and is also preparing someone to be our eternal spiritual partner if we desire it (which is definitely my case hehe 😌). As I understand it, if we don’t find our love here on earth, we can find it in Heaven! But since everyone in the Heavens originates here on earth, let’s say for example, my soulmate has not yet been born and as soon as I arrive in Heaven, I receive this breaking news that she will still be born but let’s say, only 100 years after my death. Will I perceive all those 100 years in the afterlife to be reunited with her? In the same way, let’s say she’s been waiting for me for 100 years, did she feel all this time passage in the same way that we feel time passing here on earth? Thanks, if it got too confusing I can try to explain better ;))

    • Lee says:

      Hi Caio,

      Thanks for stopping by (again), and for your comment and question.

      My basic answer is that this scenario is very unlikely to happen. People’s character is shaped by their time and culture. It is therefore most likely that people who are born for each other will be born close to each other in time.

      Perhaps there are rare exceptions, but someone who is born today will have quite a different mindset than someone who was born a century ago, in a different era and culture. The likelihood that such people would be a match for each other is very low.

      If there were some rare exception, and two people who were meant for each other were born far apart in time, it could be a challenge for the one who was born and died first to wait for the other to be born, go through his or her earthly life, and die so that the two of them can be joined. But it’s also important to know that time as we experience it here on earth does not exist in the spiritual world. Yes, there is a sense of passing events. But there is no fixed time that we have to wait through as there is here on earth. Once a century has passed in earthly time, for the one in heaven it will seem as if no time at all has passed.

      But back to my main response, I don’t think God would put people through that kind of waiting game. If God is the one arranging for people to be born for one another, and God is a loving and merciful God, then I believe God will arrange for people who are meant for each other to be born close to each other in time.

      I hope this helps.

      • Caio says:

        Thanks Lee, you helped me a lot! 🥰 As a lonely soul, i cannot wait to find my sweet and lovely soulmate. I hope we meet soon here on earth… but if our reunion just happens in Heaven, then i will continue to prepare myself spirituality until that day comes…
        Thank you again for helping me and so many others everyday!

        • Do you dream of having children? Because you know all children are born physically on Earth, not in Heaven. There could be adoption in Heaven though. Lee can give a link to that article.

        • Caio says:

          Hi WorldQuestioner
          Yes, that is one of my goals alongside a lovely lifetime marriage! Having children here on earth. 🙂 But I’m pretty sure, even if me and my partner have kids here,
          we will also adopt in Heaven!

        • Lee says:

          Hi Caio,

          You are most welcome. Sounds like a plan! And thanks for your kind words.

  44. Vivian says:

    This makes me wonder….I am living in a same sex marriage…always wondered which path to take… I know that God loves me…but if I would die right now….would I go to heaven and meet my soulmate? Also how do you know this is all true?

    • Lee says:

      Hi Vivian,

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question.

      Though there is nothing in the Bible or in the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg about same-sex marriage in heaven, I have come to believe, based on many considerations that are in the Bible and in Swedenborg’s writings, and based on the realities of human life, character, and relationships here on earth, that same-sex marriages can continue in heaven just as heterosexual marriages can. Rather than delving into those considerations here, though, I would direct you to this article, which covers the basics:

      Homosexuality, the Bible, and Christianity: A Summary

      This article also provides links to several other articles that go into these questions in much more detail.

      So yes, if you are not currently with your soulmate, and don’t find your soulmate here on earth, then I believe you will be able to meet that person in heaven, whether it is someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex.

  45. tammi85 says:

    Then the Lord God said, “See, the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from which he was taken. He drove out the man; and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim, and a sword flaming and turning to guard the way to the tree of life. (Genesis 3:22–24)

    This verse from Genesis you provided contradicts Swedenborgs views on the trinity.
    “See, the man has become like one of us” Who’s the “US” if not the three persons of god?

    • Lee says:

      Hi tammi85,

      This question has been asked enough times that I’ll have to write an article to address it. Perhaps I’ll get to that this weekend.

      Meanwhile, although present-day Nicene Christians commonly interpret this, and the similar use of “us” in Genesis 1:26, as referring to the Trinity of Persons, this could not possibly be what the original Bible writers meant.

      Why not?

      Because the idea of the Trinity of Persons did not originate until the third or fourth century AD, hundreds or even thousands of years after the stories in the first chapters of Genesis were originally composed. The Bible writers could not have been thinking about an idea that did not yet exist in their day.

      If the use of “us” for God is not a simple “royal we,” which is common in many languages around the world, then it most likely refers to God and the heavenly beings, commonly known today as “angels.” In other words, when God speaks of “us,” God is referring to himself and his “royal court” in the heavens, through which he can act, like a king commanding his nobles to do this or that on his behalf.

      I’ll cover this more fully once I get to writing the article. Once it’s posted, I’ll add a comment here with the link.

    • Lee says:

      Hi tammi85,

      I have now written a fairly long and detailed answer to the question of what that “us” means:

      Does “Us” in Genesis 1:26, 3:22, and 11:7 refer to the Trinity of Persons?

      I hope you will find it helpful and enlightening.

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