Here is a Spiritual Conundrum submitted to Spiritual Insights for Everyday Life by “Heart broken and worried”:
Hi Lee
I recently lost my fiancé a month ago we just got engaged on Christmas Eve. We were together for 6yrs and both have been divorced. This all still is taking a toll on me. He was only 39yrs old. The only thing that has brought me any comfort is since I came across your site. I want to thank you for that before I get to my question and I have so many. He and I had the most unbelievable bond and a connection mentally and physically and in every way imaginable not like in either of our previous marriages. We always said we were soulmates and God put us in each other’s lives for a reason. I am completely devastated and feel like more than half of me is gone and my biggest fear I guess really revolves around my question. If we will be able to be together in heaven in the after world and have the intimate relationship like we had here on earth and be able to be intimate in heaven. It was more than physical it felt like a spiritual connection and True Love. I’m doing as much reading as I can do and building my relationship with God and Jesus and just hope that not only will I be able to spend eternity with the Lord but with him the same as it was here but better. I hope you can bring me some comfort at this time.
The Angel of the Divine Presence clothing Adam and Eve with skins, by William Blake
First, I am so sorry to hear about the death of your fiancé. Our thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve him and miss his presence with you. I’m glad the articles here have given you some help and comfort in assuring you that the two of you will be together again when it comes your time to move on to the spiritual world.
I can also assure you that when you rejoin him in heaven, you will be able to resume your relationship just as it was before, including sexual intimacy, and it will indeed be even better than it was here. That’s because the two of you will be living in the spiritual world, and will have spiritual bodies that can express your oneness of mind and heart in lovemaking even more fully than is possible in our physical bodies here on earth.
Now for a little more background and detail.
God created us as sexual beings
Quick quiz:
What was the very first commandment God gave to human beings?
No, it wasn’t the commandment not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. That doesn’t come until Genesis 2.
Here it is, from the sixth day of creation in Genesis 1:
So God created humankind in his image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:27–28, italics added)
Yes, the very first commandment God gave to the male and female human beings that God had just created was, “Be fruitful and multiply.”
And how do we do that?
By having sex!
Contrary to the common but mistaken notion that the Fall of Humankind had something to do with sex, and that sex is inherently tainted with evil, God commanded us to have sex before things went seriously wrong in Genesis 3.
And even before God created woman out of man in Genesis 2, the Bible had already said that God created humankind male and female in the image of God. (On Genesis 1–3 and what they mean for our marriage relationships, please see: “What are the Roles of Men and Women toward Each Other and in Society?” and its follow-up article, “Man, Woman, and the Two Creation Stories of Genesis”)
In other words, sex is not only an integral and good part of God’s original plan, but by being male and female and expressing it physically in the act of sexual intercourse, we are expressing the very nature of God. For more on this, see: “How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?”
We remain sexual beings after death
Now, the things God does are not temporary, but eternal. If God created us male and female from the very beginning, and commanded us to be fruitful and multiply (by having sex), then that is not something temporary; it is permanent.
Jesus himself referred to God’s original plan in this regard when he said:
Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no person separate. (Matthew 19:4–6. See also Mark 10:6–9)
Why, then, do some people say that married couples are separated at death? God created us to live forever in heaven. And God created us male and female to be united in marriage. This means that God created us to be married, not just temporarily here on earth, but eternally in heaven.
Contrary to popular belief, Jesus did not say that there is no marriage in heaven. What he said was that people don’t get married in heaven. For a lot more on what this really means, please see these two articles:
Short version: legal marriage as we think of it here on earth does not exist in heaven. There is no need for it, because there is no need for property, inheritance, and other legal rights in heaven. But spiritual marriage continues after death, assuming we have built the type of character here on earth that makes it possible for us to be in a loving marriage.
To put it plainly, from the very beginning God created us male and female, and commanded us (in polite terms) to have sex. That wasn’t a mistake on God’s part. Rather, God creates us as sexual beings, male and female, because that is an essential part of who we are as human beings. And if God created us so that our sexual identity is a core part of our human identity, then we will continue to be male and female, and to be both spiritually and physically attracted to and united with one another, even after death.
Here is how Emanuel Swedenborg (1688–1772) put it:
Love for the other sex, especially, continues after death, and so does marriage love for people who come into heaven. These are the ones who become spiritual on earth. Love for the other sex remains with people after death because then men are still male and women are female, and masculinity in a male is masculine in all of him and in every part of him. The same goes for femininity in a female. And every particular—in fact, every little detail—of them offers union. This disposition to unite has been implanted from creation, so it is always there, and this means that the one yearns and longs to unite with the other.
After all, people were created male and female in this way so that the two of them could be like one person, or one flesh. And when they do become one, taken together they are a complete person. Without this union they are two, and each is like a divided or half person. Now, because this attraction hides deep within each particle of a male and each particle of a female, and because the ability and the drive to join together into one is in each particle, a mutual and reciprocal love for the other sex remains with people after death. (Marriage Love #37)
Yes, there is sex in heaven
If you’re with me so far, you can see that even though the Bible is not a manual on sex and marriage, if we take God’s words and actions about man, woman, marriage, and sex in the Bible seriously, we can see that sex and marriage are not temporary, but eternal parts of who and what we are as human beings.
And that is precisely what Swedenborg reports based on his extensive experience in the spiritual world. (About that experience, see: “Do the Teachings of Emanuel Swedenborg take Precedence over the Bible?”)
Swedenborg reports that because of the mistaken notions of traditional Christianity about sex and marriage, it is common for people who realize they have died and are now in the afterlife to think that they are no longer really male and female, that there will be no more sex, and that they will no longer have sexual organs.
In a story told in Marriage Love #44 two angels assure some young men who had recently arrived in the spiritual world that they are just as much men as they were before:
Two of the newcomers asked whether the human form in heaven is exactly like that in the natural world. The reply was that they are exactly alike, with nothing taken away from the man or from the woman. In short, a man is a man, and a woman is a woman, with all the perfection of form with which they were endowed by creation. “Please step aside and check yourselves over, to make sure you are just as much a man as before.”
But they still weren’t quite sure, so a little later in the conversation:
The three newcomers asked whether married couples in the heavens have the same kind of love as they do on earth. The two angelic spirits replied that it is exactly the same. Then seeing they wanted to know whether the ultimate delights were the same there, they said they were exactly the same, but far more blessed, “because,” they said, “angels’ perception and feeling is much more exquisite than that of human beings.”
Despite the somewhat delicate language of a book on marriage published in the 18th century, the meaning is clear: When we are angels in heaven we continue to make love just as we do here on earth. And because our spiritual body has a heightened sense of touch compared to our physical body, and our mind can fully perceive the sensation and meaning of what our body is experiencing, we can feel and enjoy sex even more intensely than we do here on earth.
And just to be crystal clear, this is not some wispy “spiritualized” substitute for the sexual intercourse that couples share with one another in bed. It is the real thing, exactly as we engage in it with our male and female bodies here on earth, only even better.
Sex is a physical expression of spiritual oneness
For people who have been brought up with traditional notions that sex is somehow unspiritual and dirty, all of this may be just a little hard to accept.
Sex in heaven? Really???
But consider what sex is.
Yes, of course, biologically sexual intercourse is a means of reproducing and continuing the species.
But physically, sexual intercourse is the closest two human beings can get to one another. In the act of having sex, two bodies become as one as it is possible for them to be.
And isn’t this the perfect expression of the oneness that people who are truly married in spirit feel with one another? As the relationship grows, the partners more and more think, live, and love in connection with each other. Their feelings become one. Their thoughts become one. Their lives become one.
This inner and interpersonal oneness is expressed in the physical oneness of sex.
For those who have experienced this full connection, like “Heart broken and worried” whose question sparked this article, sex is not just some incidental add-on to marriage that we can easily leave behind when we die. Rather, it is the ultimate expression of spiritual marriage and true love. Without it, the oneness of marriage would not be complete on all levels.
That’s why it is especially important for those who have experienced true marriage to know that yes, after death God continues to bless soulmates not only with marriage, but with lovemaking that goes beyond anything we have experienced here on earth. When angel partners make love, it fully and joyfully expresses the oneness they feel with each other in their hearts, minds, and lives.
This article is a response to a spiritual conundrum submitted by a reader.
For further reading:
- How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?
- Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?
- Marriage in the Resurrection: The Deeper Meaning
- Will Happily Married Couples be Together in Heaven?
- Man, Woman, and the Two Creation Stories of Genesis
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Lee Woofenden is an ordained minister, writer, editor, translator, and teacher. He enjoys taking spiritual insights from the Bible and the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg and putting them into plain English as guides for everyday life.
Spiritual Insights for Everyday Life 
Hello, I am glad I found you and your wife. This is the first I have ever read information like this. I have read so many of your articles and boy and I learning. Question…what are we saved from? I read an article about hell and if we are not saved from he’ll eternal torment and the lake of fire which doesn’t exists. I got confused because I thought we were saved from eternal torment. Please help my understanding? Can you explain salvation. I want to hear in your words how a person can be saved? So now two questions How can one be saved and we are saved from what?
Hi Arthie,
Thanks for your comment and question. Glad you’re finding the articles here enlightening!
These are very good questions. I do plan to write an article in the future about what salvation is, and what we’re saved from. Meanwhile, here’s the short version:
When the Bible talks about being saved from the Devil, Satan, hell, the power of the world, and so on, it’s talking in an abstract sense about being saved from evil, and in a pragmatic sense about being saved from pain, suffering, and a miserable life. Not so much from physical and material pain and suffering, though that is also a worthy goal, but from spiritual and psychological pain and suffering that results from living for selfish and materialistic goals and pursuits. The torments of hell and the lake of fire are not literal, but psychological and spiritual. They are the fear, pain, and anguish that inevitably result from living an evil, selfish, and materialistic life. For more on what hell and hellfire really are, see:
Is There Really a Hell? What is it Like?
For example, people whose primary pursuit is money just for the sake of being rich may or may not achieve wealth. But what they will not achieve is any kind of real, lasting happiness and satisfaction in life. More likely they will wreck their relationships with family and friends as they push aside human connections and considerations in favor of financial ones. And they will never be able to get enough money. No matter how much they have, they will always want another million or another billion. Any satisfaction from getting a certain amount of money will be short-lived, and will be quickly replaced with a desire for more. This is one example of the slavery to sin that Jesus spoke of.
Only by realizing that people, and ultimately God, are more important than money can they find any real, lasting satisfaction and happiness in life. Wealthy people who come to realize that serving humanity is more important than amassing more and more wealth commonly spend their later years using their wealth to help people in need. And they find a greater joy in that service to humanity than they ever did in piling up all that wealth.
So in this example, salvation is putting aside money as the primary goal in life, and turning their lives toward serving others as well. This is what Jesus was talking about when he said that the greatest commandments in the law are loving the Lord and loving our neighbor. Putting these at the center of our life is the very definition of salvation.
How are we saved? By transforming our character and life from a self-serving, materialistic, pleasure-seeking one into a life and character focused on serving God and our fellow human beings. Salvation is being reborn as a new person, focused on loving and serving others rather than focused primarily on loving and serving ourselves. This is the only way we can experience real happiness and joy.
For a practical guide on how to go about doing this, please see:
What does Jesus Mean when He Says we Must be Born Again?
For a big-picture view, please see:
Heaven, Regeneration, and the Meaning of Life on Earth
I hope this helps! If you have any more questions as you read, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Thank you so so much! I will review thoroughly. I appreciate you.
Also it says in the Bible death and hell shall be cast in the lake of fire. This is the second death.
maybe inappropriate to ask (adult question…)
but is sex in heaven better because it’s better, or is it actually you feel more passion?
because there i s a girl online who talked about kissing her boyfriend and had an orgasm just from that. but other people can’t orgasm from a direct touch. so in heaven, is the passion/lust enhanced or is the sensation enhanced? b/c in my example, a kiss bringing orgasm requires a lot of passion to make her orgasm, whereas a direct touch not causing orgasm means there is not enough plassion.
it’s a dumb question, i know, but whatever, ignore if you want :p
Hi amai,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question—which is actually a good one, even if it is R rated. 🙂
The short answer is in heaven, passion (or really, marriage love) and enhanced sensation flow seamlessly together, so that there isn’t a real difference between them.
Here’s a longer answer:
Here on earth, as in the examples you give, passion and enhanced sensation often do go together. People who are highly passionate often physically feel things much more intensely, whereas people who have little passion often don’t experience intimate touch very intensely at all.
However, that is not always the case here on earth. Here we have various blockages that often prevent what’s inside of us from being expressed and felt outwardly and physically. Some people have physical or mental illnesses that prevent them from experiencing things normally and naturally. Some people were mistreated and abused in their childhood and youth, causing emotional blockages that can be very difficult to overcome. And some people grew up in churches and religions that taught or strongly implied that sex is dirty and unspiritual—which makes it hard for them to relax and fully engage in sex even within a faithful, monogamous marriage.
These are only some of the reasons that for many people here on earth, there is a divide between feelings and passions on the one hand, and physical sensations and experiences on the other.
In heaven, once people have gone all the way through their transition period after death (see “What Happens To Us When We Die?”), there are no more blockages preventing what we think and feel inside from being expressed and felt outwardly. Our life becomes a seamless flow from our inner thoughts and feelings to our outward actions, sensations, and experiences.
This means that people who are highly passionate and romantic will sense and feel physical intimacy with their partner very intensely, such that the inner passion and the physical sensation will be a seamless whole.
People who are less passionate and romantic will feel things less intensely, but still much more than they do here, since our spiritual body is inherently more sensitive and expressive than our physical body, and even intellectual types will be able to express their feelings better there.
Only people who consciously and intentionally reject all romantic love and passion will not feel an enhanced sense of oneness and intimacy, and that’s because they are not willing to engage in it in the first place.
And people who are just out for their own pleasure in sex, though they may (or may not) still be able to have sex, will feel nothing of the depth and intensity in their sexual relations that angels in heaven do. (Yes, people who are just out for their own pleasure and care not at all for their partners will be in hell, not in heaven.)
Meanwhile, people who long for closeness and intimacy but cannot engage in it here on earth for various external reasons such as their financial or social situation, physical or mental illness, the lingering effects of mistreatment or abuse, or false religious teachings about sex, love, and marriage will be able to move beyond and heal from all of those blockages, find a partner to love and be loved by in return, and enter into a happy married life in heaven.
I hope this helps.
Hello Lee –
I’m confused about this ANGEL stuff that I keep reading about here…
My catholic faith teaches that a human is a human and an angel is an angel and never the two shall mix, nor become the other. I will never be an angel, nor will an angel ever be a human – well, unless it’s in disguise. And angels do not procreate as humans do – whatever number there are is all there ever will be. So this thinking sends up flags to me that this is heretical teaching.
Also, somewhere in all these readings – and I’ve read most of them – is something about stages a person goes through when they die, and that is another concern for me because my faith teaches there is one of two places that you go when you die – heaven or hell – or purgatory for cleaning up before heaven.
So these stages where people are committing adultery and sleeping around all over the place trying to figure out who they should be with, or if they should be with anyone at all, are where? Sounds like hell to me because it can’t be heaven, and it can’t be the purifying fires of purgatory – that isn’t necessarily literal – so it has to be hell.
And where do our bodies come into play after death – I might have missed that read – because to be human is to be body, soul and spirit, and our resurrected bodies are how we are made complete. A human is like a trinity within itself. Speaking of the Trinity of God – whole other subject that I can get on about…
Enough for now—
Thanks for your speedy replies.
Isabella
Hi Isabella,
Thanks for your further comments. This isn’t a Catholic blog, and its articles do disagree with Catholic teachings on many points. You’ll have to make up your own mind whether you want to accept the teachings of the Catholic Church, and if so, you’ll end out rejecting much of what we teach here.
About angels, the Bible never says that angels are a separate race of beings. Even though Genesis 1 tells about the creation of “the heavens and the earth,” it says nothing about God creating angels. But the Bible does commonly refer to angels as “men.” And the word “angel” in the original Hebrew and Greek of the Bible simply means “a messenger.” There is every indication that the people who were visited by angels thought of themselves an being visited by powerful human beings whom God had sent to them to deliver a message or save them from danger. For more on this, please see:
What is the Biblical Basis for Humans becoming Angels after they Die?
In short, I believe that the Catholic Church is mistaken about angels being a separate race of beings. I believe that all angels were once humans who lived on earth. And as the above-linked article shows, the Bible supports this view much more strongly than the angels as a separate race of beings idea.
About our stages after death, that is simply the preparation for going either to heaven or to hell. The Catholic Church teaches that many people go to purgatory before going to heaven. So even the Catholic Church doesn’t believe everyone goes directly to heaven or hell immediately after death.
About “committing adultery and sleeping around all over the place trying to figure out who they should be with,” maybe some of that does happen, since we come from a mixed up world, and people who first go to the spiritual world are still just as mixed up as they were before they died. But mostly, people commonly get together with previous spouses (if they’ve been married once again), talk to them, and get a sense of whether they belong together. You don’t have to have sex to figure that out, and I’ve never thought of people going through that process as sleeping with everyone they’re thinking might be a possible partner. Also, the longer a person has been there, the more it becomes clear to everyone exactly what sort of person they are. So before too long, it’s possible to tell just by looking at someone whether or not they’re compatible with you.
And about our resurrection body, I believe like Paul, that it is a spiritual body, not a physical body. And yet, a spiritual body is just as solid and real in the spiritual world as a physical body is in the physical world. We do not spend eternity as vague wisps of air, but as solid, substantial human beings living in the spiritual world rather than in the material world as we do during our lifetime on earth.
These are my views, which are reflected and expressed in the articles here. I realize some of this differs greatly from what the Catholic Church teaches. Once again, you’ll ultimately have to make up your own mind what you will believe, and whether you will accept the Catholic Church’s teachings on all of these subjects.
Hi there, i am new to this site and just signed up. I was looking for some answers about intimacy in the afterlife. I am a christian woman, I am a virgin have not fornicated and waiting for God to send me a husband so that I can be happy start a family and be satisfied sexually that I have prayed for. I have had no luck with the opposite sex. Men just seem to want to have fun with me and not serious. And I don’t want to disobey God’s command about premarital sex. So it’s very important to me to know for sure that I will no longer be single when i get to Heaven or on the new Earth, will i still be suffering the sexual urges and have no one and witness other souls in Heaven happy with each other and sexually satisfied? Or will I have a partner of my choice to be with for the rest of eternity?
Hi lookingforlove7,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and questions. Though I don’t take as hard a line on premarital sex as many Christian pastors, I do think your commitment to waiting for marriage is best, even if it can be difficult at times.
As you can see from the above article, I also have very different views about marriage, sex, and the afterlife than is common in traditional Christian churches. About your question, my belief is that God provides eternal marriage partners for all people who sincerely long for a good, loving, and faithful marriage, even if some of us do not find that partner here on earth. For more on this, please see:
Can you Fall in Love in Heaven if you Haven’t Found Someone on Earth?
I hope this is helpful to you. If you have further thoughts or questions, please feel free to leave another comment.
Lee,
Thank you for the insights and clarifications!
I was trying to understand what you meant by though they may (or may not) still be able to have sex in your response to amai.
Did you mean that some hellish spirits suffer from bouts of impotence or frigidity because their sexual choices are focused entirely on pleasure and/or power, and lack a deeper dimension of intimacy and caring? Or do you mean that their sexual actions are hollow and lacking in spiritual content and are therefore sex only in its most superficial sense?
Roger
Hi Roger,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question.
In response, yes, I mean that some evil spirits become impotent, and uninterested in sex, because of their exclusive focus on their own pleasure. This happens even here on earth to some men (and women) who indulge in such flagrant promiscuity, having sex with as many different partners as they can as often as they can, that eventually they burn out on sex and become impotent, or in the case of women, just become completely uninterested in sex.
This doesn’t happen to all evil spirits. Only to those who are flagrant in their evil desires, thoughts, and actions. Ordinary evil spirits whose sins were not sexual, or whose sins were not horribly wicked and devious, do often continue to have sex—though it is, as you say, hollow and lacking in any spiritual content. The sexual relations they have are more like animal mating than like making love. Picture, for example, a man and a woman cohabiting with each other for a shorter or longer time, fighting with each other all the time either verbally or physically or both, then being seized with sexual desire and taking their pleasure with each other, with no thought whatsoever of whether they are giving pleasure to the other person.
Wait! So if a person’s only evil desire was self gratification they won’t get it in Hell or will become uninterested in it?
Hi Ray,
In general, people who engage in flagrant sexual evil such as rape, molestation, serial adultery, and so on will reach a point in the spiritual world where they have burned out their sexuality and become cold and uninterested in sex—if that hasn’t already occurred here on earth.
Does that mean they have other vices or they’ll just spend an eternity forever isolated and miserable?
PS: Apologies for asking so many questions, but wow for some reason this has really grabbed my attention today and it is also fascinating learning how even in Heaven and Hell, there’s some fluidity to how people live their lives.
Hi Ray,
No problem about the questions. That’s what we’re here for. Here are a few articles that talk more about everyday life in heaven and hell. Perhaps you’ll find them enlightening:
Hi Ray,
There are indeed evil spirits in hell who are very miserable. That’s not because God is punishing them for their sins, but because they themselves have burned out their own life and spirit so much that there’s not a whole lot left. They still seek out whatever pleasure they can, but it’s very limited and fleeting. Hell really isn’t a good choice.
I read the article about hell months ago, and I think I know how rapists and molesters in hell will satisfy their lusts in Hell. Rape is about sex and power. If the sex aspect is gone (is it taking away?), then that just leaves the power aspect, which we know they’ll try to get only to fail. Serial cheaters just came to me. It’s their selfishness that lands them in Hell. They don’t lose their selfish nature just cause they don’t have a sex drive, and likely pick up a new purpose where they are. I hesitated to call it hobby or interest cause it’s more of a purpose. In Hell, desires that overtook a person’s being whole being become their purpose since it’s the only thing that matters to them.
Hi Ray,
In general people in hell are motivated either by love of dominating others from love of self (which is where the worst human evils come from) or by a love of worldly possessions and pleasures. Sexual predation in its worst form is indeed about dominating and humiliating the other person or people. In its milder form it is about getting pleasure for oneself without regard to the pleasure or well-being of the other person.
In the spiritual world, both of these will tend to burn themselves out. But the person will still seek power and pleasure for himself or herself, in whatever way is possible. People on earth who burn themselves out sexually and become impotent don’t stop seeking pleasure and a sense of power for themselves. They just have to accomplish it in ways other than engaging in sexual intercourse.
Is sex the same way as it is here on Earth where the p enters the v or is it more just physically embracing and kissing.
Hi Ray,
No, it is not just physically embracing and kissing. The p does enter the v. It is exactly the same as on earth only better, because spiritual bodies are more expressive, responsive, and sensitive than physical bodies. The oneness of mind between the two is perfectly expressed in the oneness of body that is lovemaking.
From physical to spiritual, from Earth to Heaven, is like Windows 7 Home Basic to Professional, Enterprise, or Ultimate? Or Windows 10 Home to Pro? Server 2008 R2 Foundation to Standard or Enterprise? Or model airplane to real airplane? Or baby’s milk to actual solid food? Or teaser trailer to movie? HTML link to actual site? C.S. Lewis’ comparison was poor. Because having sex doesn’t mean abandoning chocolate. Just both are not done simultaneously. I also thought of quintessential love like yesterday. Besides the four types of love in Greek of which storage is not in the Bible and Eros is not in the New Testament. Quintessential love is not the same thing as the fifth force speculation in fundamental physics. And besides family, friendship, and romantic, I thought of quintessential relationships.
Hi WorldQuestioner,
I think going from earth to heaven is like going from Microsoft products to some heavenly software that does everything you want it to do easily and seamlessly without patronizing you and tapping your wallet as often a possible. 😛
I’m guessing the only pleasure felt in Hell is the Earthly pleasures, meaning that sex will only feel like it does on Earth, so they won’t know what they are missing because they never experienced what it is like to have Heavenly sex for lack of a better word.
Hi Ray,
Yes, I would agree with that. In hell there is no marriage and no oneness of minds between two people. Everyone in hell loves himself or herself more than anyone else, and is therefore incapable of loving another person in anything but the most physical sense of “love.” Sex there, if it happens at all, is promiscuous and unfaithful. It is not viewed any differently than mating between animals. More likely, it is outright exploitative as each tries to get pleasure and benefits for him- or herself at the expense of the other. In the lower (more evil) levels of hell, sex ceases altogether. The people there are cold and frigid toward others. They lose all desire and ability to engage in any kind of sexual union.
It’s not sex I seek, but the companionship of the women I love. Through circumstances, we found each other when we were older and not beautiful as we were when we were young. I feel cheated because others did not give her the respect she deserved. We both would have loved each other if circumstances were different. I hope this makes sense to somebody!
My fiancé passed away on March 24th. He had a rough life and we only had a year and half together while he was here on earth. I know God and Jesus saved him and that he is in Heaven now. My question after reading this and other articles, is he waiting for me up there?
And does our love continue? We both talked about how we feel we are each other’s soulmate. A pastor told me that my fiancé loves me even more now because he is in Heaven.
And I’m a bit confused on how you could possibly know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s sex up there. Heaven isn’t a big orgy, is it?
If we felt in our hearts that we are soulmates, that continues for eternity, doesn’t it? I never meant any rudeness by that last comment. It’s just been such a sad time and some of this puzzles me.
Hi Taylor,
I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your fiancé. It’s especially hard when you’ve hardly had a chance to develop the relationship before the one you love is taken away from you.
If the two of you are indeed soulmates, then yes, he will be waiting for you. People whose souls are united into one are not separated even by death. Their love continues even while they are separated by the veil of death, and it is rekindled and becomes even stronger when they reunite in heaven. See: “Will Happily Married Couples be Together in Heaven?” (I know you weren’t married yet, but the same principle applies.)
Knowing for certain is the hard part. That’s how our faith is tested here on this earth, where there is so much doubt and darkness to contend with. I won’t try to sugar-coat it. You will have many doubts to face and struggle against in the months and years to come. I can only say to hold fast to what you do know and believe, and to your God-given integrity as a person, because that’s what will carry you through.
Yes, there is sex in heaven, and no, heaven isn’t a big orgy.
First of all, people in heaven are in faithful, loving, monogamous marriages (unless they’ve absolutely committed themselves to remaining celibate), so there is no sleeping around. In fact, people in heaven have no desire whatsoever to have sex with anyone but their own partner in marriage. The very thought of it fills them with horror. The two of them are united in heart, mind, and body. The last thing they want to do is to break and destroy that union.
Nor do angels hang around in bed having sex all day. They have work to do, just as we do here. So they go about their day, do their job, which they love to do, and then enjoy some R&R, just as we do here. And when their day of work and play is over, they are free to spend their time together as they like. And just as here, couples who are one in spirit especially love to express that oneness through the physical oneness that is sexual intercourse. That is when their love for one another and their oneness with each other feels most complete.
Here is one more article about love and marriage that may also help:
How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?
I hope these thoughts and the linked articles are helpful to you. Meanwhile, our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hello Lee,
Do you consider pre-marital sex to be sinful?
Is this activity not direct disobedience to Jesus?
I was taught that it is an affront to God and should not be considered “OK” to engage in repeatedly prior to marriage.
Would love a truthful answer from you, because this thread originated with he celebration of fornication, and your decision to not confront it head on is itself a sign of the times.
I am very fearful of God, and strongly believe that when I am sinning I am outside of his will.
Yours in Christ,
Peter.
Hi Peter,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question. In answer to your question, please see this article:
Is Sex Before Marriage Forbidden in the Bible?
If, after reading it, you want to continue the conversation, please use the comments section on that article. Thanks.
Lee you are misleading people. Nowhere in the Bible does it say anything about people having sex in heaven. That is false teaching. No one is married in heaven. Your spouse or lovers will just be other people in heaven. Perhaps that’s your personal fantasy however, there will be far more exciting and stimulating things besides copulation. Stop misleading people. Im curious your stance on homosexuals. They are in direct rebellion to God’s authority. I have a hard time believing practicing homosexuals are saved.
Hi 3rd Infantry,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment.
However, nowhere in the Bible does it say that people will not have sex in heaven. And considering that God’s very first commandment to human beings in the Bible is to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), which means having sex; and also considering that Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6), and we know that “whatever God does lasts forever” (Ecclesiastes 3:14), it is exceedingly unlikely that God would contradict God’s own eternal commandments by causing humans not to be joined together as one flesh in heaven.
Further, contrary to centuries of false teaching in the so-called Christian Church, Jesus did not say there is no marriage in heaven. He said people don’t get married in the afterlife. There’s a big difference! For more on this, please see:
Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?
Jesus also did not teach that celibacy is preferable to marriage as some Christians erroneously believe. Quite the contrary! See:
Didn’t Jesus Say it’s Better to be Celibate than Married?
If you think of sexual intercourse as mere “copulation,” then that is a very physical-minded view of sex. Anyone who has been in a real, spiritual marriage can tell you that making love is far more than mere animal “copulation.” It is the full physical expression of the inner oneness that God gave the married couple when God joined them together in marriage, and declared that they are no longer two, but one flesh (Matthew 19:4–6).
Ministers who teach, with no sound biblical basis whatsoever, that there is no marriage and no sex in heaven are laying heavy burdens, hard to bear on married couples who have experienced the full measure of God-given marriage. These so-called “Christian” ministers are the ones who are misleading people, and causing great pain and sorrow for husbands and wives whom God has joined together.
About homosexuality, please see this article, which takes up the subject in great detail:
Homosexuality, the Bible, and Christianity
You are a very gifted writer! I have never heard this topic explained so well before ..or even addressed for that matter. So many people have a fear of God…fear of being in trouble…or punishment for some sin. I used to be one of those people. Very fearful of my place with God. However as I have experienced more and more of life…family….children.. divorce … I can see the tender mercies when looking back. What really made me see this idea clearly was finding my soulmate after a 16 yr long terrible marriage before. We finally found each other …it was magnetic and electric from day one. Love at first sight truly we have been together now 6 yrs and I finally know what it’s like to feel this way about someone else. He is my very best friend. I will NOT be parted from him EVER AGAIN and can truly appreciate this love because I lived without it for so long…yet yearned desperately for more. I can imagine us together in beautiful body with perfect hair..and teeth and he in all his masculine beauty…how wonderful it will be…how happy and loving. I can’t wait for that truly.
Your article touched me and I will be back to your blog! Thank you💝
Hi Patricia,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your kind and lyrical words.
Yes, all of this will happen. God is loving, and will give us so much joy, fulfillment, and pleasure that it will fill us from heart to skin. A God who loves us with infinite love could do nothing else. Only if we reject God through living a selfish and greedy life will this not happen. And even then God allows us to experience our pleasures as much as possible, given that they are self-limiting.
But for those who let God into their hearts and minds, and love God and their fellow human beings as the Lord commanded us to do, the words of the Psalm come true:
Thank you
Hey, me again. Interesting article but you said stuff about becoming an Angel and in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 it talks about you being given a new and perfect body. Won’t we just be really enhanced humans, rather then Angels. I’m not sure where you got the view that we become and Angel (do you have a verse that I’ve missed?) but I’m not too sure how true it is.
But yeah I agree that it makes sense about sex I’m heaven, thanks for the article.
Hi Joseph,
Thanks. Glad you’re enjoying the articles here.
My view is that angels are not a separately created race of beings (something that the Bible never says), but rather are human beings who have gone on to live in heaven. For more on this, please see:
What is the Biblical Basis for Humans becoming Angels after they Die?
Interesting article.
What do you think will happen to single people who have never been married (but have desired to be married on earth) when they get to Heaven?
Do you think they will they have the opportunity to experience that kind of intimacy?
Before I became a Christian 10+ years ago I had long term relationships outside of marriage with non-Christians or nominal Christians.
Been single since…
Hi Paul,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question.
The short answer is that people who long for a loving, faithful, committed marriage but have not been able to get married here on earth will meet their partner and get married when they reach the spiritual world after death, before they move on to their final home in heaven. God provides a partner for everyone who longs for one, and who does the personal work of becoming a good and thoughtful person. (People who don’t do that work don’t have the necessary character to be in a good and stable marriage.)
For the long answer, please see this article:
Can you Fall in Love in Heaven if you Haven’t Found Someone on Earth?
If you have any further thoughts or questions as you read, please don’t hesitate to leave another comment.
Hi Lee,
Thank you for your reply and the link.
I appreciate it.
Best regards
Paul
Hi Paul,
You are most welcome. I hope it is helpful.
What do you make of the objections to eternal marriage, not simply levirate marriage, in these articles? https://www.epm.org/resources/2010/Jan/6/do-you-think-it-possible-new-earth/ https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/matrimony-no-more Is there any evidence for the intended meaning of what Jesus said to the sadducees that contradicts the possibility that he meant there won’t be married couples, and therefore elimination of sexual desire and attraction?
Hi Eric,
Thanks for the links. I’ll respond to the two articles in separate comments.
Most, if not all, of the rhetorical questions that Randy Alcorn asks in the first-linked article are answered in these articles here:
There are a few other relevant articles linked at the end of these ones. Since I’ve already answered all of those questions, I won’t repeat the answers here.
The key error in Alcorn’s article is contained in this quote:
Alcorn sees that Jesus is saying that earthly partnerships don’t continue in the resurrection. His whole article is based on the premise that earthly marriages don’t translate into heavenly marriages. He thinks that earthly marriages are God-given, when in fact many of them are merely human-made.
What Alcorn doesn’t see is that marriage in heaven is not based on earthly marriages that are about literally becoming one flesh (i.e., having sex) and bearing children. Marriage in heaven is also not determined by whether a priest, minister, or Justice of the Peace declares two people one in marriage. And it is not based on whether a couple is legally, ecclesiastically, or socially recognized as a married couple. None of these things matter in the least in the spiritual world. The Sadducees were in error because they had the mistaken notion that earthly marriage would determine heavenly marriage.
Alcorn makes the very same mistake that the Sadducees made. He thinks that earthly marriage determines spiritual marriage. And he thinks that since it would be impossible, for example, for a woman who has been married to seven husbands here on earth to be married to them in heaven, therefore there can be no marriage in heaven.
Both the Sadducees and Alcorn have an earthly, physical-minded view of marriage. They think that earthly marriage is the only kind of marriage that exists. Therefore they reject marriage in the afterlife because the conditions of marriage here on earth don’t exist in the afterlife. All of this is covered in the first two articles I linked just above.
The reality is that earthly marriage does not continue in the spiritual world. Only spiritual marriage does. And spiritual marriage has nothing to do with whether a person was joined in legal or religious marriage by human beings here on earth. Rather, it is based on whether a couple has been joined together in spirit by God. It is what God joins together, not what humans join together, that no human being is to separate (Matthew 19:4–6). And God makes marriages of the spirit, not mere earthly, legal, and physical marriages.
In response to the Sadducees, Jesus said not only that they were in error because they did not know the scriptures, but also that they were in error because they did not know the power of God (Matthew 22:29). Alcorn, also, does not know the power of God. He thinks that God is constrained by the marriages we humans make here on earth, and that if our human-made marriages don’t continue in heaven, then there can be no marriage in heaven at all. And he clearly doesn’t believe God joins people in marriage, because he believes that all marriages will be put asunder. He therefore rejects both the scriptures and the power of God when it comes to marriage. Alcorn is violating the Lord’s own commandment that what God has joined together, no human being is to separate.
God is not dependent upon human institutions and human marriages. God joins together the hearts and minds of two people, regardless of our human marriage licenses and wedding ceremonies and human social and religious recognition that make an earthly marriage. The marriages that will continue in the spiritual world are the marriages that God joins together, whereas the earthly marriages that we humans have made here on earth will cease to exist unless there is also a God-made marriage of hearts and minds between the two people.
Hi Eric,
My first reaction to the second article you linked, by John Piper, is that his claim that the end of marriage in eternity is good news will ring hollow for people who have experienced the deep human connection of spiritual marriage. He promises some vague undefined joy that will be greater than the joy of marriage, without giving any conception of what that joy will be, or why we should accept his word on this. No matter how hard he labors to convince us that there is some undefined thing in heaven that is greater than marriage, those who have experienced true marriage love will continue to find his rejection of eternal marriage to be a sorrowful and painful thing.
In short, Piper is laying heavy burdens, hard to bear, on people who have experienced true love, or who long for it.
Piper seems to think that the joys we have in heaven will have no relationship whatsoever to the joys we have here on earth. He is asking us to believe that nothing we experience here on earth translates into anything that we experience in heaven. According to Piper, God is just going to erase everything we have done or experienced here on earth, and substitute entirely different things of which we have had no prior experience at all.
If Piper is right, then God is putting us through a colossal waste of time here on earth. Why have us go through all sorts of learning and growing experiences here on earth that have nothing to do with anything we will be doing and experiencing in heaven? It would be like putting children and teenagers through twelve or sixteen years of school, and then, when they graduate and become adults, telling them, “Nothing you’ve learned in school has anything to do with what you will be doing as adults.” The whole idea is ludicrous.
Piper’s examples confirm that he is thinking that life in the spiritual world as something that has no relationship whatsoever with our life here on earth. For example, he says:
But that is comparing apples and oranges. Here, in contrast to Piper’s false analogy, is the analogy that should be made:
When children become adults, they don’t stop eating ice cream and have sex instead. Rather, they leave behind their primary relationship with their parents, and have their primary relationship with their spouse instead. As children, they (ideally) had a relationship of love with their parents, and this was a good relationship. As adults, they have a relationship with their wife or husband, and this is a far greater relationship. That is why God has us leave behind, not ice cream (which we can continue to enjoy as adults), but rather living in the house of our father and mother, for the far greater relationship of living together with our partner in marriage.
God did not put us here on earth and give us various relationships and experiences only to yank all of them away from us after death, and substitute something entirely different. Rather, here on earth God gives us earthly versions of all of the same things we will be doing in heaven. And people who are spiritually minded can experience something of what these earthly experiences and relationships will be like in heaven.
The traditional Christian idea of heaven is that we will spend eternity in rapturous contemplation of God. This is based on a literal reading of visions in the book of Revelation that picture various creatures and multitudes of human beings all arrayed around the throne of God. However, the visions recorded in the book of Revelation were never meant to be taken literally. (See: “Is the World Coming to an End? What about the Second Coming?”) They are symbolic and metaphorical visions meant to convey spiritual meanings to readers whose eyes are opened to see them. Unfortunately, today’s biblical literalists are focused on the letter that kills rather than on the spirit that gives life.
It is true that in heaven everyone is arrayed around God as a common center. But that doesn’t mean all they do is worship and pray all day. Rather, they live active lives of love and service to one another just as we are meant to do here on earth, all the while turning to God as the center and source of everything they have, everything they do, and everything they are.
Just as our eighteen or twenty years of growing up as an infant, then a child, then a teenager, prepare us for our life as an adult, so our threescore and ten years here on earth prepare us for living in the spiritual world. Children and teens are continually engaged in many activities that they will be engaging in as adults, only it is mostly practice rather than doing the real thing. Once we reach adulthood, we begin to actually do the sorts of things we played at and practiced as children. If we liked to build things, now we’ll be building houses for people to live in. If we liked to think about things, now we’ll be teaching those subjects to children, teens, or adults. If we liked to play cops and robbers, now we’ll become police officers protecting others from criminals. And so on.
Piper is mistaken about heaven in general, and about marriage in heaven, because he thinks that heaven is going to be something that has no relationship whatsoever to anything we’ve ever experienced here on earth. He thinks God is going to take away everything we’ve experienced and learned here on earth, and replace it with something completely different.
But that’s not how God, or heaven, works. God gives us an apprenticeship here on earth so that we can practice the things we will be doing to eternity in heaven. That apprenticeship includes human relationships such as marriage.
What is true is that all of the things we do and experience here on earth, including marriage, will be far greater in heaven than they are here on earth. We will then be in our spiritual bodies, living in the spiritual world, unconstrained by our heavy physical bodies and by the dead and unresponsive nature of physical matter. For people who have had real marriages here on earth, marriage in heaven will so far surpass what they have experienced here on earth that they will indeed think of it as being all new (see Revelation 21:5).
However, this doesn’t mean marriage will be an entirely different thing in heaven than what it is for spiritually married people here on earth. Rather, it means that good marriages here on earth will be raised to a whole new level in heaven, just as everything else we do and experience here on earth will be raised to a whole new level in heaven.
When little kids play house, it can be a lot of fun. But actually being a married couple living in your own home is a whole order of magnitude greater than our games as children. Playing house looks forward to actually being married and making a home together with a husband or wife. It has many of the same elements in rudimentary form, but it is not the same as what young adults experience when they get married and make a home with their partner in marriage. In the very same way, the marriages we have here on earth will be raised to a whole new level in the spiritual world.
In short, Piper’s primary error is in not understanding the relationship between our life here on earth and our life in heaven. Piper thinks that heaven will be something completely unrelated to our life here on earth. The reality is that heaven takes our life here on earth and raises it to a whole new spiritual level. This includes marriage, which is the closest and deepest interpersonal relationship (as compared to our relationship with God) that we humans are capable of.
Our life here on earth is a preparation for our life in heaven. Everything we do and everything we experience and all of the relationships we engage in are preparations for the spiritual and heavenly versions of those same things. When we arrive in heaven, like the little children who played house and then grew up to experience the reality as adults, we will begin to experience the far greater spiritual reality of everything we have done and all of the relationships we have experienced on earth, including the relationship of marriage.
Hi Eric,
Thanks again for the links. I have just posted an edited and expanded version of my responses to the articles here:
Marriage in Heaven: A Response to Randy Alcorn and John Piper
lee, have you visited heaven? you really sound like you know. I really hope everything you are saying is true.
Hi angel,
No, I have not visited heaven, though I have felt the presence of angels. However, I’ve read the accounts of many people who have visited heaven, and have talked to some personally. Especially, I have read the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg, who spent the last twenty-seven years of his life visiting the spiritual world on an almost daily basis. For more on Swedenborg and his writings, see:
Do the Teachings of Emanuel Swedenborg take Precedence over the Bible?
And for his book on the spiritual world, which is the most detailed account of the afterlife ever written, see:
Heaven and Hell, by Emanuel Swedenborg
I have no serious doubts that what I am saying here is true. Of course, you’ll have to consider all of this for yourself, and make up your own mind.
How does this good news apply to those, like me, in a poor marriage? We have hurt each other, and I feel used. Though we have grown allot I confess I do not love my spouse. What hope do I have for better in Eternity?
Thank you for your time and your article. In reading Swedenborg and other articles on the subject of sex and love after death.
Hi Robert,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question.
About your marriage, though it is a hard cross to bear in this life, don’t despair! If there is not mutual love in the marriage, that is not a marriage that God has joined together. Such marriages may be legally and socially binding in this world, but in the spiritual world legal marriage does not exist because none of the circumstances that require it exist there. On this, please see:
Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?
In this world, if as the years pass there is still no mutual love in your marriage, you may have to stick with it anyway for legal, financial, family, or social reasons. But in the other life none of those external considerations have any bearing. The institution of marriage as people commonly think of it here on earth does not exist there. Instead, there is a union of minds between two people who are one in spirit. If your earthly spouse is not the person you are one in spirit with, that (external) marriage will cease to exist in heaven. Instead, you will find the person that you are one in spirit with, and will live happily with that person to eternity. (This assumes that during your lifetime here on earth you do the work of becoming a good, thoughtful, and loving person who can live in heaven.)
For an article that covers some of this ground, but based on a different marital situation, please see:
If You’ve been Married More than Once, Which One will you be With in the Afterlife?
I hope this helps. If, as you read, you have more thoughts or questions, please feel free to comment again. Meanwhile, our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hi Lee,
I really enjoy and find great peace and comfort in all of your articles. I have a quick question, I lost my absolute soulmate to suicide. He was driven to his great depths of depression by his father and uncle who psychologically abused him and that his relationship would not be tolerated. He had been married twice before, with three children, so trying to be heterosexual was not from a lack of trying.
I live each day in the hope that we will be reunited for eternity in heaven. While we were never “married” in the legal sense (although I had asked him to marry me before this happened), I’m not sure what this means in the spiritual sense. All I know is that we love each other in the way Jesus taught; unconditionally.
What is to happen to us?
Hi Peter,
So sorry to hear about your soulmate’s suicide. That is a hard thing to suffer, especially given the difficult circumstances of his life.
The fact that you didn’t get married here on earth won’t make much difference in the afterlife. There, marriage is not a legal or social institution, but is an inner union of minds.
Given that homosexuality seems to be a basic, unchangeable element of a gay or lesbian person’s character, I tend to believe that it will continue after death, and that same-sex couples will be able to live together there eternally just as straight couples do. Honestly, I am not certain of this, but I don’t see how else it could work. I do not believe God would deprive people of love and companionship just because they happen to be gay. Our sexual orientation is not something we choose, nor is it something we can change. And a loving God would not deny us love due to a circumstance that is beyond our control.
My opinion, then, is that you and others in a similar situation will be able to rejoin the one you love, and have a happy life together.
Jesus Christ Directly said, ” There IS NO marriage or given in marriage in heaven but are as the angels of God.” God is the God of the Living NOT of the Death”. This means there is NO sexuality of physical pleasures such as we have on earth. We will be so pure and our souls and spirits in our new bodies will have sinless pleasure eternally without physical contacts of carnality. These is sex in hell with sadomasochistic tortures from demons. That is where the pit of carnality will fall and be cast into the lake of fire.
Hi Paul,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment.
However, contrary to popular belief, Jesus did not say there is no marriage in heaven. He said people don’t get married in heaven. There’s a big difference! See:
Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?
As for the rest of what you say about sex in the afterlife, none of that is in the Bible, so it may be the opinion of some Christians, but it is not Christian or biblical teaching.
This may be a crude question, but in Conjugal Love, does “virgin” mean lack of coitus? In one part, angels say the love virgins “intensely, yet chastely.”
Hi K,
Yes, “virgins” in Swedenborg generally means, in less crude language, a sexually inexperienced person. In heaven, that would mean anyone who grew up in heaven. Premarital sex isn’t really a thing there. And “love” in that context is not romantic or sexual love, but love for the young woman as a person, which includes her female nature. Occasionally Swedenborg also uses the word “virgin” to refer to young men.
Thanks for the reply. The reason I asked is because in the modern world, some may say that various “foreplay acts” also mean not virgin anymore, but I guess as applicable to Earth, Swedenborg – back in the 1700s – meant what Earth dwellers nowadays may call “technically a virgin” when referring to virgin.
Hi K,
If it’s about virgins in heaven, there isn’t going to be “everything but” either. So not just technical virgins, but people who haven’t engaged in any kind of sex act. This is assuming they had died in early childhood.
I guess what I’m also asking is, if someone on Earth fooled around but didn’t do it before marriage, they’re still a virgin from a New Church perspective – especially if they regret it?
Hi K,
If you haven’t had sex, you’re a virgin. If you “fooled around” but didn’t “do it,” then you’re still a virgin.
The thing about “fooling around,” or getting sexually intimate with someone, is that it’s foreplay. In the natural course of events, it will lead to having sex. People may stop themselves, or may stop the other person from proceeding, for various reasons. But if it is allowed to run its course, it will lead to sexual intercourse. Most people who fool around and think they aren’t going to have sex are just fooling themselves. If you don’t want to have sex, it’s best not to start down that road.
And yes, if you started down that road, but then realized it was a mistake, and make a decision not to do it anymore, then you’re still a virgin, and you can move forward from there. This earth is a place of shades of grey. No one reaches adulthood without having done some things he or she regrets. It’s not what you did in the past, but what you’re doing in the present that matters.
From a New Church perspective, it’s not that if you have sex before marriage, God is going to send you to hell. Rather, it’s that if relationships start from the physical (having sex) rather than from the spiritual (forming an inner friendship and relationship), they have two strokes against them from the start. Here are two articles that cover these issues in more detail:
I hope this helps.
Could you post a comment on https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/will-there-be-marriage-and-sex-in-heaven/?
Have you heard of Genesis 6:1-5? Why didn’t you reference it?
Hi WorldQuestioner,
As I said in reply to your other recent comment (here), I am not going to go to another pastor’s blog and disrupt it by telling him he’s wrong and getting into an argument with him there. However, there are many errors his article, based on unbiblical doctrines and on a physical-minded view of marriage in which reproduction is seen as the only purpose for sex and marriage.
About Jesus’ statement on marriage in the resurrection, please see this article:
Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?
Contrary to what many traditional Christians say, Jesus did not say that there is no marriage in heaven.
Genesis 6:1–5 is an interesting one for supporting the idea that heavenly beings can and do have sex. If the “sons of God” (usually interpreted as angels) were able to father children with the daughters of human beings, clearly they were capable of having sex, and did have sex.
However, I view those early chapters of the Bible as being symbolic, like the parables of Jesus, not literal. And even among people who take the Bible literally, there is some debate about exactly who or what the “sons of God” are.
Still, it’s a good passage. Thanks for bringing it up.
Lee,
My wife of 48 years and best friend / trusted pal / lover of 57 years went to heaven 4 weeks ago ( 2/22/2021). I’m so very lost. Your articles brought me peace. My major concern was when I die will I be with her for eternity. I love her beyond anything. This event has made care nothing for life or stuff. I no longer fear death. I am ready to go when God’s purpose here for me is complete. Am I looking at this correctly? I agree with your writings.
Hi Will,
I’m sorry to hear about your wife’s death. It sounds like you had a good, long life together here on earth, and built an inner oneness that death cannot sever. There is just this unfortunate gap between the death of one partner and the death of the other. In the eternal scheme of things, it is a mere blink of an eye. But while we’re going through it, it can feel very long and heavy indeed.
Yes, I do think you are looking at it correctly, and I’m glad my articles here have helped you in this. Nothing can take away the loneliness of being separated from our love. But at least we can know that it is only a temporary situation. When our work is done here on earth, we can rejoin the one we love, and resume our married life together. And it will be even better and closer than it was here on earth.
Meanwhile, our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hello, I know its somewhat a stupid question… but Im curious about how often do you think we will be able to have sex? Because I love my grilfriend and I really enjoy IT(sex) with her… I know that i will also have to do some work but Im just curious… I would like to give her as much pleasure as I can.
Thanks for the answer:)
Hi Jozef,
In heaven you will be an adult. You don’t have to ask permission to do things. You and your wife (you’ll be married there) will be able have sex however often you want to.
Thank for the reply… I understand that i will be an adult, but you also mentioned, that I will also have to do some work and also that heaven isnt some orgy place (sorry for my English I dont know how to explain it) so thats why Im asking how often I can have sex with my girlfriend.
Hi Jozef,
Yes, people in heaven do have jobs. But it’s not because they have to. It’s because they want to. They get their greatest joy and satisfaction from doing good things for other people. They get up in the morning looking forward to their work. Then, when their workday is over, they have plenty of time for rest, relaxation, and other activities. See:
Who Are the Angels and How Do They Live?
No, heaven isn’t an “orgy place.” It is very monogamous. People in heaven can’t imagine having sex with anyone else but their husband or wife.
Within marriage though, just as here on earth, they can have sex whenever they want to, and as often as they want to. There are no rules about that. People in heaven are free to live the way they want to live, because they want to live good lives. And sex between two people who love each other and are one in mind and spirit is a good thing.
I also heard some story about chocolate, little boy and sex…. it is about that a small boy cannot imagine sex being better than chocolate and that we as adults cant imagine heaven without sex, but the man, who was the author of the story was claiming that there wont be sex in heaven because there will be far better things and that makes me really worried:( I believe that in heaven there will be better thing than sex, but I also want to have sex in heaven and it makes me worried and depresse:( Please ensure me:(
Hi Jozef,
That “chocolate” analogy runs the rounds in traditional Christian circles. And it makes no sense at all. I’ve already dealt with the “ice cream” version of it in another article, which I invite you to read for your answer:
Marriage in Heaven: A Response to Randy Alcorn and John Piper
Have you seen https://www.gotquestions.org/marriage-heaven.html and https://www.gotquestions.org/?
Would you ask a question on GotQuestions.org? https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-Questions.html
Everytime I ask a question on GotQuestions about marriage, sex, and romance in heaven, they deny that there is sex and marriage and romance in heaven. Even reliable writers.
Hi WorldQuestioner,
I have read many pages at gotquestions.org. They have the same unbiblical and false fundamentalist Protestant views as other similar websites.
This particular page makes the same mistake as all the others: It confuses the act of getting married with the state of being married. Jesus didn’t say there was no marriage in heaven. He said people don’t get married in the resurrection. But gotquestions, like other Protestant sites of its ilk, engages in a sloppy and inaccurate reading of the Bible that reads more into it than it reads out of it. Its material is not very useful in learning what the Bible itself teaches.
But I’ve already covered that particular issue in several previous articles, including:
Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?
Marriage in Heaven: A Response to Randy Alcorn and John Piper
Marriage in Heaven: A Response to Jack Wellman
And no, I have no interest in going to that website and asking a question. They would give me the same answer they gave you. They are the blind leading the blind. They are not interested in seeing the light, because they think they already have it.
Don’t they say “the appetites and desires of this world will give way to infinitely higher and more gratifying delights in the world to come”?
Hi WorldQuestioner,
Yes, traditional Christians say this. But it’s not particularly biblical. It’s just their opinion.
Having said that, even marriage itself is “infinitely higher and more gratifying” in heaven than it is here on earth. And sex, too. Sex and marriage among people who are spiritually married in heaven go far beyond what we can experience here on earth. That’s because they are living in the spiritual world, in their spiritual bodies, rather than in the material world in their material bodies.
Hi there. I was wondering: do some angels have a higher sex drive and others have a lower sex drive, like it is with people here on Earth? Or do things get a bit more balanced in the spiritual world?
Hi Rod,
Interesting question.
Keep in mind that even though angels do have bodies, and their bodies have every part, organ, and cell that our physical bodies have, their bodies are not physical bodies, but spiritual bodies. They are not made of physical matter, but of spiritual substance. This means that biology as we know it here on earth does not apply to them.
In the spiritual world, everything appears, subsists, and disappears in response to the character, thoughts, and feelings of the angels and spirits there. Angels’ bodies are not biological productions as physical bodies are here on earth. Rather, they are reflections of the character of each particular angel. Especially, they are reflections of each angel’s “ruling love,” which is the core love of the angel that makes the angel who and what he or she is.
Because of this, everything that goes on with the physical body of an angel (or spirit) is a reflection of that angel’s loves, thoughts, feelings, and overall character. There is no separate biological organism that may or may not reflect the mind of the angel at any particular time.
This means that angels have no “sex drive” as we understand it here on earth. There is no biological urge to mate and reproduce. Rather, when angels make love, it is purely and only an expression of their feelings of love, closeness, and oneness with their partner. That closeness is expressed most fully in making love.
This means that angels’ “sex drive” doesn’t wax and wane according to biological urges, and neither does their “potency,” to use a traditional term. Rather, when they feel especially close to and one with their partner, their bodies respond accordingly, because their bodies perfectly express what is in their mind and heart.
For angels then, “sex drive” is not really sex drive, but the expression of an inner sense of oneness with their partner. This can wax and wane with angels. After all, angels are just good people who have moved on to the spiritual world. Some may have a closer relationship with their partner in marriage. Others may have a less close relationship. It all depends upon who they are and what their character is. These differences will be reflected in how often and how passionately particular couples make love in heaven.
Like here, if an angel couple is having some interpersonal issues (yes, they’re human just like us), they may not be very interested in making love. But once they’ve resolved those issues, and are feeling close to each other again, they’ll come together in body as well.
In short, angels’ “sex drive” responds entirely to their character and their sense of closeness to and oneness with their partner. Whenever they are feeling close, their physical bodies will never fail to have the ability to express that closeness through lovemaking.
Interesting! Thank you.
Aren’t physical and spiritual opposite sides of the same coin? One could say they are yin and yang respectively, but we are not Taos. But aren’t physical and spiritual equal? I am asking Lee.
Hi WorldQuestioner,
No, physical and spiritual are not equal, any more than God and spiritual reality are equal. Just as spiritual reality is created by God and is a limited (not infinite) expression of God, so physical reality is created by God from spiritual reality, and is an even more limited expression of God and of spiritual reality.
To use an ordinary example, a hammer is not equal to the person who holds the hammer. The person can swing the hammer; the hammer cannot swing the person. It is an inherently unequal relationship. The hammer can do a better or worse job carrying out what the person holding it wants to do. It can be a fine, sturdy hammer that does a great job pounding nails, or it can be a poor broken down hammer that can barely pound nails. Regardless of the state of the hammer, though, it will not pound any nails by itself. It will pound nails only if a human being picks it up and swings it at a nail.
Our physical body is a hammer in the hands of our spirit. It does not do anything by itself. It does things only if there is a spirit (who is the real human being) inhabiting it. Like the hammer, it may do a better or worse job expressing the will of the person inhabiting it. But the spirit commands the body, not the reverse. It is an inherently unequal relationship.
In the case of human beings, however, the story is a little more complicated. Humans have free will, and the ability to choose to be motivated by physical and worldly things or by spiritual and godly things. And due to our fallen nature, we start out in life being driven primarily by physical and worldly things. This makes it appear as if the body is in control, and running the show. But really, the spirit is still running the show, and the body still simply responds to the will of the spirit. However, in this case the spirit is immersed in bodily and worldly things, and uses the physical body in pursuance of bodily and worldly things.
Even in the animal kingdom the sex drive is not physical, but biological. A dead animal has no sex drive. The “bio” in biology means “life.” And life is spiritual, not physical. Animals do have spirits just as human do. However, animals’ spirits are limited to the “natural” or earthly level of spirit—the part of the spirit (or mind) that is focused on outward experiences and action. In animals, both the spirit and the body are immersed in physical and earthly drives such as food, shelter, and reproduction. About the closest animals get to anything that is spiritual in nature is companionship and relationships with other animals. But even these are driven by earthly desires, not by spiritual ones.
When humans do not rise up above the level of physical and worldly drives, such as the desire for sex or the desire for worldly power, they are operating from the same lower parts of the mind (or spirit) that humans share with animals. But there is still a difference between such people and animals, because the people have the ability to act from higher motives, even if they’re not currently exercising that ability, whereas animals do not have that ability.
Although the spiritual and the natural are sometimes portrayed as yin and yang, that is not an entirely accurate portrayal. The real relationship between yin and yang is the relationship of heart and head, or of love and truth. This relationship exists on every level of reality: divine (God), spiritual, and physical. Animals, for example, have various drives, and they also innate and learned knowledge that enables them to carry out those drives. A sex drive without innate or learned knowledge of how to have sex would not accomplish anything. Both are required for anything to happen. That is the yin and yang of life.
See my recent blog post https://genderlovesexuality.wordpress.com/2021/10/22/my-thoughts-about-sexuality-and-marriage-in-heaven/ I’m not asking you to post a comment on it, but feel free to if you want to.
Hi WorldQuestioner,
I think you probably already know what I think of most of your article.
First of all, you dance around the fact that Matthew 22:30 and Luke 20:35 do not say there is no marriage in heaven. They say that people don’t get married in heaven. There’s a big difference! Personally, even on the purely literal level, I have no intention of getting married in the resurrection, because I’m already married.
What Jesus actually did say is covered in more detail in this article:
Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?
About being married to the Lord, as you point out, the Bible never says that we are individually married to the Lord. Rather, the Bible speaks metaphorically of the people of God, or in present-day Christian language, the Church, being married to the Lord.
Further, this too is usually put in the present tense. It is not speaking about our future state, but about the present-day relationship between God and God’s people.
In the Old Testament, it is said in the present tense about God being the bridegroom and husband of the Israelites. In the New Testament, the same metaphor is used of the Lord (Jesus Christ) being married to the New Jerusalem, which is the city containing all of God’s people. If this means that men and women won’t be married to each other, then why were the ancient Israelites married to each other even while they collectively were the bride and wife of God (metaphorically)? And if Christ is the bridegroom and the Church is the bride, why are Christians married to each other even while they are collectively the wife of the Lord?
The example of the Bible makes it clear that married couples are part of the Church, which is collectively metaphorically married to God / Christ. There is no reason this would suddenly change in the afterlife. There is no reason the example of both the Old and New Testaments would be abrogated in the Resurrection.
Finally, do you really think that men and women in heaven are going to do “everything but” having sex?
This is ridiculous. If men and women are still men and women, they’re not going to be happy and satisfied with little pecks on the cheek, or even little pecks on the mouth.
In the very beginning, God made us male and female. And the very first commandment God gave to us was to be fruitful and multiply. We were created men and women as sexual beings right from the beginning, by God. If God takes away the intimacy between a husband and wife in heaven, then making us still be male and female in heaven would be torture. The relationship God created between men and women would be irrevocably broken, and both men and women would live sad lives of longing for one another that can never be fulfilled.
Heaven is not an insipid, neutered existence. That’s not how God created us in the beginning. And that’s not how God will have us live in the afterlife. Vague promises of something “better than marriage, and better than sex” ring hollow to anyone who has experienced real love in a real, spiritual marriage.
It makes me wonder what sort of marriage some of these “Christian” teachers have. If they are content to think that their marriage will end at death, and they will no longer be married to their wife, then that is ultimately a sad and empty marriage. Any man who truly loves his wife from the heart will not willingly accept that there will come a time when he can no longer be married to her.
But “Christianity” has made marriage into an empty, worldly, physical-minded thing. That’s why these “Christian” teachers can misquote Jesus and claim that there is no marriage in heaven. They don’t even know what real marriage is.
Incidentally, I’ve already replied in detail to at least one of the articles you linked at the end. For good measure, here are two articles that reply to three of these so-called Christian teachers who claim Jesus said something he simply did not say:
I will soon be responding to yet another false Christian who makes the false statement that Jesus said there is no marriage in heaven.
About the only thing I agree with in your article is that there will be no babies born in heaven. But that doesn’t mean the marriages will be sterile. They will be very fruitful, but it will be spiritual fruit, not physical fruit. In plainer words, when men and women make love in heaven, it will lead to new births of love and understanding that will enrich the lives of the married couples and everyone around them.
Ever heard of the idea of 10 dimensions? Ever heard of Hugh Ross? I don’t think that he came up with the string theory though, I don’t know who did. See https://infogalactic.com/info/String_theory. Maybe God originally intended a world of 10 dimensions, but seven of them shrunk to the subatomic level, and three of them grew to a cosmological scale. What would either Hugh Ross or Peter Kreeft think of a ten-dimensional kiss or 10-dimensional sex? I never told you this, but I have autism – medium-high-functioning I think. So sometimes I say things and they come across wrong. Impulsive. I don’t have confidence in my creativity, but sometimes I come up with creative ideas. There’s a connection between emotions and creativity. I’m very emotional.
I don’t understand why this pastor would ignore scripture and tell a grieving woman that she’s going to be intimate with her fiance as a spirit in heaven.
There is literally nothing in the scripture that says anything like this, which is why I suspect the answer quotes no Bible verses. There are none that support this view.
The Bible says we will be resurrected with glorified physical bodies like the one Christ had at his resurrection. It does not say we will be spirits in heaven.
The Bible does not address sex in heaven in any way whatsoever. Telling someone there will be physical intimacy in heaven is purely speculation and I think it is ethically wrong to present that as fact to a grieving person.
Hi Patrick,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment. However, it is you, my friend, who is ignoring scripture, and making the Bible say things it doesn’t say.
You write:
Did you even read the article before you left your comment?
After the introduction, the very first thing the article does is to discuss men, women, and marriage based on Genesis chapters 1 to 3. This includes a direct quotation from Genesis 1:27–28. In the next section, the article goes on to quote Matthew 19:4–6, adding a reference to the parallel passage in Mark 10:6–9. How can you say that “the answer quotes no Bible verses,” when that is the first thing it does?
Further, the article provides links to several other articles that go into much more depth on its biblical basis. See especially these four:
I encourage you to read these articles so that your eyes may be opened to what the Bible does and doesn’t say about man, woman, and marriage.
You write:
No, the Bible does not say that we will be resurrected with glorified physical bodies like the one Christ had at his resurrection. Here is what the Bible does say:
In short, the Bible clearly states that we have a spiritual body that is distinct from our physical body, and that this is the body in which we will be raised. Further, on the Cross Jesus said to the repentant thief:
There is no record of the thief being physically resurrected in this world that very day. The only way the thief could be with Jesus in Paradise today is if this meeting occurred in the spiritual world.
In short, the Bible is very clear that we are resurrected in our spiritual body, not in our physical body, and that this resurrection takes place in the spiritual world, not in the physical world.
No created human being can ever be glorified physically as Christ was. The risen and glorified Christ was a fully divine being, right down to his body. We humans can never gain a divine body as Christ did. Although the Bible teaches us that after death we live in our spiritual body, which means we are spirits, after his resurrection Jesus specifically denied that he was a spirit:
In this instance I am quoting from the King James Version. Many modern translations say “ghost” instead of “spirit.” But the original Greek word is πνεῦμα (pneuma), which is the standard Greek word for “spirit.”
Jesus’ resurrection body was a glorified divine body. Unlike every other human being who has ever lived, he left no body in the tomb. Further, his resurrection body was able not only to eat solid food, but also to pass through locked doors, and to instantly appear and disappear from sight. (See Luke 24:30–31, 36, 41–43; John 20:19.) No human physical body can do all of these things, nor can any human spiritual body do all of these things.
No, my friend, the Bible never says that “we will be resurrected with glorified physical bodies like the one Christ had at his resurrection.” The Bible makes it very clear that Christ’s glorified resurrection body was beyond anything we humans can ever attain to. Even after our own resurrection, we remain mere created human beings. But Jesus was, as the Bible itself tells us, “God with us” (Matthew 1:23).
Finally, you write:
The Bible tells us very little about what our life in heaven will be like. Paul addressed this when he said:
And:
The Bible’s primary concern is to lead and guide us toward heaven and eternal life. It is less concerned with describing exactly what that life will be like.
Just as the Bible doesn’t say we will have sex in heaven, so the Bible doesn’t say we will not have sex in heaven. The Bible does, however tell the story of a mythical time when heavenly beings did indeed have sex, and even fathered children:
The one time the Bible does speak of sex in connection with heavenly beings (“sons of God”), it describes them as fully functional sexually. This is true even if we don’t read these chapters of the Bible literally.
In short, although the Bible doesn’t say we have sex in heaven, the one story in the Bible that explicitly deals with this general subject suggests that we can and do have sex in heaven.
Further, as covered in the above article, the very first commandment God gave to humans after creating them male and female in God’s image was to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:27). From that time onward, throughout the entire Bible, marriage, sex, and procreation are treated as sacred creations of God, which are not to be violated or denigrated.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the way the so-called Christian Church began to take a physical-minded, dirty, and negative view of sex and marriage. The Catholic Church even forbade its priests to get married, despite the fact that in the Bible priests were expected to be married.
It is true that Paul expressed a wish that all people would be single as he was (1 Corinthians 7:7). However, he gave no commandment that people should remain single, and the whole chapter speaks of remaining married or single “in view of the impending crisis” (1 Corinthians 7:26). Paul believed that the Second Coming would happen within the lifetime of many people who were still alive. This did not happen. What would Paul have said about marriage if he had been aware that many centuries would go by, and the Second Coming would still not have happened? We don’t know.
Meanwhile, the simple fact of the matter is that the Bible never commands us to remain single, and it everywhere says that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7-8; Ephesians 5:31). See also:
Didn’t Jesus Say it’s Better to be Celibate than Married?
In short, the entire Bible teaches us that God’s intention from the very beginning was that man and woman should be married, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Why, then, would God reverse God’s own decree and design by putting married couples asunder at death?
No, my friend. The Bible says, “Whatever God does endures forever” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Therefore if God joins two people together in marriage, as Jesus himself says (Matthew 19:4–6), then nothing, not even death, can put them asunder.
This is what the Bible says about sex and marriage.
Unfortunately, the so-called Christian Church has ignored the Bible’s spiritual teachings about God’s creation and gift of sex and marriage, and has substituted physical-minded human teachings.
It is not only wrong, but very cruel for so-called Christian pastors to tell people whose beloved husband or wife has died that they will never again enjoy the life of love, marriage, and intimacy that God blessed them with on earth.
And I will continue to give grieving people the good news of the Bible’s eternal promises about God’s beautiful gift of love and marriage.
Couldn’t Luke 23:43 be referring to the temporary “paradise” before the New Earth? It doesn’t say “From this day forth you will be with me in paradise.” It only means “today,” not “from this day forth.”
Hi WorldQuestioner,
Regardless of whether it was for today or forever, it was not on this earth.
Thanks for all infro on the Resurrection and specially on the sex in heaven cause my wife left me here on earth gone to heaven, she said that she set her mind to leave me, but caught covid and did not make it thru, even five months ago she gone i still geiving I really miss her.
Hi Alfred,
I’m sorry to hear about your wife’s death. It’s a hard thing to be without the one you love, even if you know that she’s in a better place now. I do hope that this article gives you some help and comfort. Here is another article that you might find helpful:
Will Happily Married Couples be Together in Heaven?
Meanwhile, our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Are you Mormon or were you just explaining from a Mormon standpoint because I am group Pentecostal and I still am but when I read this and when I talk about it with other people who are stronger in there, believe we don’t tend to
Hi Tavia,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question. I’m not quite sure what you’re saying toward the end of your comment. But no, I am not a Mormon, and this article is not written from a Mormon perspective.
This may sound like an odd question, but do women in Heaven lack a hymen? Otherwise it could keep growing back and make any lovemaking among angel couples rather uncomfortable every single time. Especially since, IIRC, Swedenborg says angels can have a heightened sense of touch.
And speaking of virginity, can spirits sense virginity or lack thereof in each other anyway? I imagine so, one’s character is openly seen after the “sorting” after passing away is done.
Hi K,
I don’t know for sure, but I presume it works the same way it does here on earth: girls and women have a hymen until they first have sexual intercourse.
As for sensing virginity, for children who grow up in heaven, being a virgin and being unmarried is synonymous both for females and for males. The first experience of sexual intercourse is right after the wedding, and the two remain married forever. Also, it is clear from a person’s appearance and aura whether he or she is married, whether or not the wife or husband is there.
For those who grow up in the physical world, it simply continues as it was here. If they are virgins here, they are virgins in the afterlife, too, and there is less (though probably not zero) chance that they would have sex in the world of spirits before they get married and go to their eternal homes in heaven. If they are not virgins here, then they continue not to be virgins there. Death doesn’t immediately change anything in that regard, as in most other things.
I also presume it is not quite as easy in the world of spirits to tell whether someone is or is not a virgin, especially those who are recently arrived from earth and haven’t yet gone through the process of having their masks removed and their true character come out. But even there it will be clear to any of the higher angels who are engaging with people in the world of spirits.
And yes, Swedenborg does say that people have a heightened sense of touch in heaven.
Can angels in the lower heavens read (so to speak) if someone is virgin or no?
(and of course in Heaven it’s not shameful to be a DT* like it can be seen as in this world)
*DT = doutei, Japanese word for male virgin
Hi K,
I suppose it depends upon the situation. People who grow up in heaven know each other, and know things like this about each other. But for them, anyone who is not married is a virgin anyway.
As for people who come from this earth into the spiritual world, angels of the lower heavens probably can’t read them the way higher angels can. Lower angels don’t have that level of perception and insight into the character of others. However, over time, as the new arrivals’ outer self comes into harmony with their inner self, elements of their character and experience become much easier to read based on their outward appearance.
And no, in heaven there is no shame in being a virgin, whether one is a male or a female. In heaven, this is the usual state for unmarried people.
This might seem “repressive” to many people today. But it has nothing to do with that. In heaven, outward actions fully express inner realities. For two people who are not inwardly one with each other, which is the meaning of marriage in heaven, it would be impossible to engage in sex. Not that some external force would prevent it, but that it would be so contrary to each person’s true inner self that it would feel gross, horrendous, and not at all enjoyable to have sex with someone who does not match one’s own inner character.
Also, people who grow up in heaven do not have to wait to get married until they are well into adulthood, as is usually the case here on earth. As soon as they are grown up enough to get married, the Lord brings couples together, and they begin their married life.
Even here on earth, I suspect that if society weren’t so sexualized, and young people weren’t presented with sexual imagery all the time through movies and advertising, they would be less likely to want to have sex. Not that I think censorship is a good solution. It’s just that the way our society is set up, premarital sex is almost inevitable for large numbers of people, even though it is really not a very good idea, and is seldom very satisfying.
Could angels of any heaven tell if any other angel is a virgin or no before marriage?
For example, if a guy dies a virgin and wants to be with a virgin wife because he wants someone at the same level of experience as he is, wants both in the couple to save virginity for eachother, and wants virginity to be lost the same way as children who grow up in Heaven later lose it when they grow up, can he tell whether or not any future wife is a virgin like him?
Hi K,
Yes.
In heaven, it is not possible to lie, nor would anyone want to lie. All you would have to do would be to ask, and s/he would tell you. But for those who grow up in heaven, everyone would be a virgin until they got married anyway, so you wouldn’t even have to ask. In fact, they’d probably be offended if you asked, because the answer should be obvious.
On your specific example, when the guy who is a virgin dies, at first he’ll be spending most of his time just figuring out where he is and what this is all about. Over time, he’ll head into the second stage after death, where his true inner self comes out. That would be the earliest time when he would meet someone who would be his prospective mate. And by that time, everything would be out in the open, so that it would be obvious whether the other person was or wasn’t a virgin. Someone who is a virgin and wants a virgin wife or husband would immediately see and know if the other person had the same level of sexual innocence as s/he did her/himself. But if there was any question, once again, at that stage all you’d have to do is ask, and you’d get an honest answer. Most likely, such a person wouldn’t even be attracted to someone who is not a virgin.
However, I should also say that for most people coming from earth today as teens or adults, this would not be such a big issue, because virginity is not valued by most people in contemporary society. Also, there are complicating factors, such as if a girl or woman has gotten raped, which is unfortunately far too common even today. So I don’t want to give the impression that this is all just a simple matter of virgins finding virgins. That does happen even on earth today. But life is complicated. And virginity itself is not the most important factor in heavenly marriages for people who come from earth. The most important factor is oneness of mind. Still, it is highly likely that men and women who highly value virginity before marriage will find and marry each other because they are of similar mind.
Also, is one who is a virgin and wants to marry a virgin granted what (s)he wants?
Hi K,
For the most part, yes. But as I said in my previous response, sometimes there are complications.
What if a guy or gal values virginity in a way that’s unusual in this world? I guess then they could be guaranteed to get with someone who’s a virgin like him or her.
Also is it possible for someone who grew up in this world to be paired with someone who grew up in the afterlife?
Hi K,
It all depends on whether this is a core part of the guy or gal’s personality. If it is, then yes, they would be paired with someone who thinks and feels the same way. If it isn’t, then it might give way to more central aspects of character that are shared with another person.
Your second question is a complicated one. In general, there’s no reason this couldn’t happen. But it is unlikely, for example, that someone who lived well into adulthood on this earth would be paired with someone who died in infancy or early childhood and grew up in heaven. Their mental state would be too different from each other. But that’s just one scenario. There are many other possible scenarios, some of which might indeed lead to someone who grew up in this world marrying someone who grew up in heaven.
The Lord giveth and religion taketh away! It’s not God that contradicts nature. It’s what we have been taught through those who claim to represent God. There was a movie way back in the early 70’s titled, Is there sex in Heaven? Coming from a Catholic upbringing like this young woman, that was almost a disgusting idea. Heaven was suppose to be squeaky clean. No fun allowed!
Since losing my wife over a year ago, I have held on to the idea that we would be together once I cross over myself. Like the woman who asked this question, I feel that God directed me to your site and other Swedenborg sites. After you toss off those dark age theology teachings, it all makes sense. My love for God and my appreciation has skyrocketed.
I still very much, grieve and miss my wife. There isn’t a day that I don’t shed tears for her. But now I know she is well taken care of and will probably be the first person I will see and hold in my arms. My Sister-in-law jokingly said that we will probably be told to get a room. I’ll entertain that thought!
I’m reminded of something that I believe is in the book of Acts. In a dream or vision, Peter is told by Jesus to stop calling what is clean, unclean. Religion has been guilty of doing just that. Since we have been taught that from infancy, we just don’t know any different. Everything that God created is good! That includes us and sex!
Hi camre406,
Good to hear from you again, my friend. And Amen to that! Sorry your comment got put into the spam folder by the system again. I hope all is well with you, other than the obvious empty place in your life here on earth.
Thank you Lee!
I have been reading others comments and questions particularly on the subject of being reconnected to our spouses in the afterlife. That to me is revealing. Why would God put something in our heart if it wasn’t allowed? So many who have lost their wives or husbands are still connected in their hearts. As I have aged and have the scars to prove it, it becomes clearer how something as powerful as religion and culture can rewire our brains. Most read the account in Matthew, Mark and Luke where Jesus dismantles the trick legal question from the Sadducees as proof of no marriage in the resurrection. The Sadducees were clearly referring to the Mosaic law of brother-in-law marriage. A legal contract! When you stop to think about it, when God brought Eve to Adam, the word marriage was not used to describe that union. But they were considered as one flesh. Belonging to each other! Anyway, I thought I would give you some of my thoughts on this subject.
Someone noted that your answers are very well thought out and very considerate, regardless of the way or manner of the persons comment. I have noticed that too! It’s how I imagine Jesus spoke to those around him. Your articles on this subject has gotten me through some very tough and emotional moments.
Thank you again
Cliff
Hi Cliff,
You are most welcome. And thank you for your kind words.
I’m sure you’ve already read my articles on Jesus’ words about marriage in the resurrection, starting here. No need to repeat everything in those articles here. But yes, Jesus was talking about legal marriage when he said that in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage. As you say, the Sadducees’ question was a legal hypothetical. It had nothing to do with real marriage, which is not legal, but spiritual. See also:
Real Marriage vs. Legal Marriage
Interestingly enough, Swedenborg says that in the spiritual world, marriage is so different from what exists on earth that it shouldn’t really even be called “marriage.” It has nothing to do with legal rights and privileges. It has everything to do with oneness of mind. Even the words for “husband” and “wife” in heaven mean something more like, “the one who is mine.” Not in a possessive sense, but in the sense of being the one who fits with me.
This this fits in with another fact you point out, which is that the Bible doesn’t say that Adam and Eve got married or are married. Only that the Lord brought them together with each other, and they became “one flesh,” meaning completely one with each other. That is the oneness that exists between married couples in heaven.
Here on earth, all sorts of people can be legally married to each other regardless of whether they fit together in that way. In heaven, that is not possible. Marriage there is a oneness of minds, hearts, and lives.
I am glad that the articles here have helped you through your rough patches. Knowing the truth doesn’t make life easy, but it does free our mind and heart from many things that drag us down and destroy us.
Hi Lee,
I remembered watching a long time ago a video titled “Sex and the Afterlife OR The Art of Bashing Sex as Evil or Wrong With No Evidence” – No topic is as divided as sex and sexuality in New Age, metaphysical or religious areas. Here’s why I am most certainly sex POSITIVE. See: sacred sex, tantra, and many other topics.”
Even though the video still sides with wrong spiritual beliefs such as metaphysical new age woo woo that is used to put down other metaphysical new age woo woo which is ironic lol like what is even “sacred sex, tantra” and others? But I remember hearing how in a lot of spiritual circles how sex or anything really that you may enjoy say traveling and experiencing other cultures, riding a bike, eating/cooking food, a sentimental item like a picture, or even spending time with a person you love is considered “low level” or “low vibration” that you haven’t ascended yet and are still attached to your ego and attachments so to be spiritually enlightened you must let everything you love go including likes, dislikes, personality essentially your goal is to become nothing and to move beyond the earthly attachments.
Or when we die we will no longer be able to enjoy such things because we will be “pure”. Or we must reincarnate to experience anything again.
Which groups go on to say “All experiences are Maya.” We must “Dismiss all experiences and retreat into an idea we call “Self”. Without experience do we even have a life?
It just seems when people spread this it’s to control people and label something like sex as filthy is speaking more about the actual people saying it. When like you said in the article above that it’s what God created and it’s how two consenting adults who love each other express that on whether it be on the earthly world or spiritual world.
But I just wanted to get your thoughts on these subjects.
Thank you Lee
Hi Sam,
I looked up and watched the video (here, for those reading in). I agree with him, of course, that sex is not merely physical, dirty, and so on, but in its original form is beautiful and spiritual.
Along the way, he does the obligatory bashing of the “corrupt West”—which, when it comes to sex, marriage, and relationships, is actually less corrupt and more spiritual than most Eastern/Asian countries today. Not that there isn’t plenty of corrupt sexualization for material purposes in the West. But in most other parts of the world, the situation of women is much worse than it is in Western countries, and there is much less of the ideal of equality, soulmates, and spiritual marriage than there is in the West.
Also, many, if not most Eastern religions require their priests and monks to be celibate just as Catholicism does in the West. So it’s not as though the Eastern religions are putting forward an ideal of sex as a high spiritual state. Yes, there are the ancient Tantric teachings, but these have mostly been erased and buried in present-day Eastern religions.
In short, there is the idealized version of Eastern religion and culture that is common among New Age types in the West, but this is very different from the reality of Eastern religions and cultures as they actually exist in their original countries and regions of Asia today.
What seems to be happening here is that Western New Agers read the ancient Eastern spiritual and mythical literature, and think that’s what Eastern religion is all about. But these ancient Eastern scriptures reflect what Swedenborg would call “the ancient church” in the traditional translations, or in slightly more modern terms, “the ancient spiritual era.” This was a time before humanity descended into a very low, physical-minded state.
Just as Christianity today does not reflect the high spiritual state of the Garden of Eden or even the relatively innocent times of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, so Eastern religions as they are widely and popularly practiced in Asia today do not reflect the high level of spiritual enlightenment recorded in their ancient scriptures. The entire world, East, West, and South, fell away from that early high spiritual state, and descended into empire and war, thousands of years ago.
But to address your actual question:
I believe that the “letting go of attachments” thing originally came from a sound source, but has been heavily twisted, misunderstood, and misused.
The sound source is that we do have to let go of our selfish and greedy attachments to material things, including sex. This is what the Bible, and Swedenborg, are talking about when they say that we must “repent from our sins.” We must stop engaging in wrong actions that are solely for our own benefit, such as killing, committing adultery, stealing, and deceiving people. But we must also stop doing the right thing for the wrong motive, such as gaining a reputation for honesty so that we can make more money from our customers.
Specifically when it comes to sex, when sex is corrupted, it becomes all about dominance and control rather than about love and sharing. Rape is the ultimate act of sexual evil. It is taking something close, personal, and beautiful and turning it into an act of attacking, dominating, and humiliating another person. However, the reason sexual evil is so evil is that sexual good is so good. The best things in human life become the worst when they are corrupted.
What the people who say we must “break our attachment” to sex fail to see is the good and spiritual side of sex. When two people are good at heart, and love each other, not just the marriage relationship, but sexual intercourse itself becomes a beautiful and spiritual sharing of oneness between two people, resulting in great spiritual fruitfulness in the form of new and deeper love and understanding in the hearts and minds of the couple. This is something that is not possible for celibates and ascetics to achieve in their solitary (and rather self-absorbed) pursuit of “spiritual enlightenment.”
The original idea of “breaking attachments” was to break our self-centered attachments to various things, including sex. The error came in when the original idea became corrupted (along with the corruption of everything else), and religious types began to think that sex itself is evil, even though it was an integral part of what God created in Genesis 1, and pronounced “very good.”
In ordinary language, these religious types threw out the baby with the bathwater. They saw that sexuality had become corrupted. But instead of purifying it in themselves, and teaching their followers to do the same, they rejected sex altogether, and pronounced it unspiritual and physical-minded. This error persists to this day in both Eastern and Western religions.
Really, it was Swedenborg who began to revive the idea of sexuality and marriage as a highly spiritual relationship originating in the very nature of God. From Swedenborg, it began spreading through Western culture, and from there back into Eastern culture. Even India, which in earlier centuries was a polygamous culture, began celebrating monogamy and true love under the influence of Western culture and religion. Now there are thousands of Bollywood movies about true love winning out over everything, just like popular Hollywood romance movies except with a lot more singing and dancing! 😀
In short, “breaking our attachments” does not mean no longer engaging in anything physical, and no longer having any feelings or desires. It means not selfishly claiming these things for ourselves, and engaging in them solely for our own benefit, but recognizing them as gifts from God, and engaging in them with thoughtfulness, care, and concern for our fellow human beings.
A spiritual life is not a life emptied of all content. It is a full life, fully engaged in the world and its work, activities, and pleasures, but from a position of love for God and the neighbor instead of from a position of getting as much as we can for ourselves.
Heaven, also, is not an empty place where people send eternity in rapturous, empty contemplation of God in some cosmic void. It is a full life, in a full and complex environment and culture, of active work, recreation, pleasure, and yes, making love, all from a heart of love for God, for our fellow human beings, and especially for our partner in marriage. Second only to their relationship with God, angels’ greatest joy comes from their relationship with their husband or wife, with whom they feel not like two separate people, but like one soul. When they make love, it is an expression of that spiritual oneness.
Hi Lee,
Thank you kindly as always for the in depth information about these things. And what you said about the West being less corrupt / more spiritual than Eastern countries (of course there is evil all over) it brought to mind recently, the local police did a raid on massage parlors that these poor women were being held forced to work that they would ship them in from China and Vietnam areas and take away their passports and women from those same countries and some men were the ones “selling them” which is extremely evil.
But I never realized how such an evil version of sex there is an opposite which means there is an extremely heavenly version of sex which can also apply to anything really which really shows there is a Heaven and Hell and it’s our choice to which we align ourselves.
And it also keeps amazing me how far divorced spiritual literature has become. (Also Divine literature, the Bible) and how people have distorted it like for example Western New Age which means and says nothing what the original text says and means. I assume that’s why there is so many religions out there, I remembering reading how there are over like 20,000 religions in America alone which shows how people just keep morphing what was originally good into confusing material world base thoughts. And it shows when people follow Gods’ true Love and Wisdom as Swedenborg wrote how everything becomes so much better like India celebrating monogamy or how we are still individuals and enjoy all what we used to do here but now in the spiritual world. And understanding what it really means is to put God first and when we do that, all our other loving relationships fall into place which instinctively feels true and right.
I wonder if that’s what “twin flames” really means but people just put a distorted definition to what it really means? Recently there was a documentary on Amazon Prime called “twin flame cult” or something like that, but it was basically these people (mediums?) who claim that can find your twin flame and how you share or are the same soul just incarnated in two different bodies, or past life couples that have been couples for thousands of years and they always find each other, or something alone those lines. “Twin flames” also became popular with “trending headlines” like celebrities promoting it like Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly. It just seems like a lot of woo woo and no real spiritual inner meaning.
Thank you kindly again Lee
Hello lee,
I just wanted to say i loved this article but i’m quite confused yes it did say be fruitful and multiply meaning to have sex, But isnt procreation unnecessary now in heaven? like we wouldn’t really need kids no? plus would we really be human flesh and have genitalia’s?
sorry for the question lee. Just curious
Hi Max,
Glad you liked the article.
Procreation may be the primary biological reason for sex, but if that were the only purpose of sex, why would married couples continue to have sex even after the woman is past menopause and can no longer get pregnant and bear children?
Sex is about much more than reproduction. It is an expression of the oneness that two people feel with one another when they are are in love with one another and married to each other spiritually. Sex, spiritually, is about sharing and expressing this oneness of mind and heart with each other. And it does “bear fruit” spiritually, in the form of new love and understanding that is “born” from the two becoming one.
To speak plainly, no children are born in heaven. New human beings come into existence only here on earth. But that doesn’t mean sex and marriage are barren in heaven. They are the most fruitful relationships that exist in heaven, but it is spiritual fruit, meaning new love and understanding, because the couple is living in the spiritual world.
However, the sex itself is just as “physical” as it is here on earth. After death we are not wispy spirits. We have spiritual bodies that are just as solid and real as our physical bodies are on earth. Our spiritual bodies are also male and female just as they are on earth, including our male or female genitalia. And we use our genitalia in lovemaking exactly the same way we do here.
In short, love, sex, and marriage continue in heaven just as they are on earth, only far better because we are then in our spiritual bodies, which are far more sensitive and responsive to love and affection than our physical bodies can ever be.
Hi Lee,
Yes so would our sex drive (do we even have on in heaven?) be as high or as low in heaven if someone is really sexually active would it comply the same in heaven?
Hi Max,
When we die we leave our physical body behind, and earthly biology and reproduction along with it. This means that we don’t have the same physical sex drive that we do on earth, which exists for the sake of reproduction. No babies are born in heaven, so there is no need for the biological sex drive that we have on earth.
What we have instead, in heaven, is a strong feeling of love, connection, and oneness with our partner in marriage. This feeling of oneness includes finding our partner highly attractive, and wanting to be physically one with her or him as well. In other words, wanting to make love with her or him, and finding it very pleasurable and even blissful to do so. It’s not a physical desire, but a spiritual attraction that expresses itself most fully in the oneness of lovemaking.
People in hell also have no biological sex drive, but they do have a desire for physical (meaning bodily) pleasure. Having sex still feels pleasurable, so they commonly want to have sex. It has nothing to do with loving a partner. They don’t love anyone but themselves, and they don’t think of anyone else as a “partner,” still less do they have any interest in marriage. In hell there are various other motives for having sex as well, such as a desire to dominate another person, a desire to extract payments of one sort or another from another person, and so on.
In other words, in the spiritual world people make love, or have sex, based on inner loves and desires, not based on the biological and physical sex drive that we have on earth.
As for the level of “potency,” to use a traditional term, it is high for angels in heaven based on how much love they have for their partner, and how deep that love goes. The higher the angels, the more “sexual ability” they have. In hell, it is based on the level of their ego and self-love. However, for many evil spirits in hell their desire, interest, and ability for sex burns itself out over time, and they no longer even attempt to have sex.
Like everything else, sex is far better in heaven than it is in hell! 🙂
Why would men in the afterlife presumably have sperm-making organs, and women have egg-making organs and a womb, if there’s no having babies?
PS: Of course, as I said earlier, if people are not trapped in human form 24-7, then it could make more sense for a human avatar form to have such things as such is just an avatar.
Hi K,
Because they correspond to the spiritual equivalent of having babies, which, in Swedenborg’s words, are “spiritual offspring.” As Swedenborg says in Heaven and Hell #382b:
There is also this exchange in Marriage Love #44:
Exactly how these “spiritual offspring” are produced in heaven is probably something we won’t fully grasp and understand until we get there. But in general, a good marriage can be very inspiring for both partners, prompting them to be very productive of new ideas, projects, and so on. This gives some sense of what these “spiritual offspring” might be.
More specifically, each sperm represents some idea that a man generates in his mind and passes on to his wife. From among those ideas, many of them probably not very good, his wife picks out one or two to nurture and develop into something real and tangible, represented in biological reproduction by the baby or babies growing in her womb.
In other words, the same process takes place in the spiritual world, but it takes place spiritually rather than physically as it does in this world. Though it takes place on the spiritual level, it is still expressed in the bodies of the wife and husband when they make love. Without the sexual organs, this would not be possible, and their relationship would be incomplete.
This still leaves the question of whether the womb (uterus) of a woman in heaven has some function similar to its primary function in the material world. This is why I doubt we’ll fully grasp and understand how these “spiritual offspring” work until we get there. I would only say that no post-menopausal woman would want her womb removed unless there were some pressing medical need to perform such an operation. It still has meaning to her even if it can no longer bear children.
Here on earth, couples who are in love do make love even if they can’t or don’t want to bear physical children. Why would it be any different in heaven? And there, as here, the sperm would represent the man’s generation of new ideas, and the egg would represent the woman’s ability to take those ideas, add her own ideas to them, and turn them into something real and practical.
wait so lee does that mean we can eat our wives yk ? lol (someone had to ask)
Hi Max,
Well . . . this is not a sex advice column. 😀 But basically, we’re the same people there that we are here, and we can do the same things there that we can do here. I hope that answers your question. 🙂
Hi, Lee! Thanks for your explanation of sex in heaven! Could you, please, tell what sex is considered “good” in God’s terms? Cause everybody’s sex is different, and you are saying that sex was invented by God, therefore is not “filthy”. Some couples love traditional sex and are conservative in their views, some like experimenting in bed and with their bodies; some love romantic atmosphere, some prefer role-playing and more dominant attitude; some people love sex toys, some love “dirty sexting”. It all depends on sex imprints we got when growing up. Would love to hear your opinion on this one. Thanks!
Hi Sun,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question.
I can’t speak for God, but from my perspective, good sex, spiritually speaking, is sex within a mutually loving, faithful, monogamous relationship—ideally a marriage relationship. In this kind of relationship, each partner will want to give the other one pleasure and joy in the act of lovemaking. Beyond that, good sex is sex that expresses the love that each feels for the other, and the oneness that they have with each other.
As for particular styles and acts, that would be between the two people in the relationship. However, in this type of relationship, there would not be unpleasant or degrading acts, because as I said, each partner will want to give the other joy and pleasure.
About role-playing, and specifically dominance and submissive role-playing, if it is fully consensual on both sides, it’s not necessarily bad. But it is still characteristic of a low-level type of relationship, and not the type of relationship that God originally created us for. For a related article, please see:
What Do Women Really Want?
There are also some relevant articles linked at the end of that one.
As for “dirty sexting,” it may or may not actually be dirty. If it’s just a couple engaging in phone sex, that’s an extension of their in-person sexual relationship. Of course, if it’s with someone outside the relationship, that is a type of unfaithfulness, and it’s not a good thing.
About sex toys, if it’s within a mutually loving and committed relationship, that’s one of those things that’s up to the couple themselves. I wouldn’t want to tell couples what they should and shouldn’t do in bed.
This may sound disturbing, but if God is omnipresent, does that mean angel couples cannot get privacy in the bedroom in New Church Heaven?
Hi K,
Why do you say angel couples in heaven? God is present everywhere on earth, too. Do lovemaking couples here on earth worry about God being a Peeping Tom?
In the afterlife, angels are much closer to God, but I guess God being omnipresent and/or omniscient does not bother them then.
Hi K,
Even angels live ordinary lives in which they are not thinking about God every second of every day. God is more like a constant inner presence with them. They also see God as a sun in the sky. But these things are just as ordinary a part of their life as the sun and the moon are for us.
Accordingly, when they’re in bed with their husband or wife making love, they’re focused on each other and their intimacy with one another, not on whether God is peering over the bedpost.
Besides, they don’t think of sex as dirty or embarrassing. Even if it did come to mind that God sees everything, and sees them making love, it would not be a matter of shame or embarrassment to them. Rather, it would feel like a blessing and a gift that God is giving them—which is exactly what it is. After all, the marriage of a man and a woman is an expression of the marriage of love and wisdom in God. It is the highest, cleanest, and most beautiful love there is.
But once again, when angels make love, just as with loving couples here, they are focused on each other and on the mutual sharing of lovemaking. And since all of their senses are even finer and more exquisite than ours are here on earth, the experience is all-enveloping. They’re not thinking about what’s for supper tonight, or even about what God is thinking about all this. They are fully present with one another, heart, mind, and body.
hey lee
my question is how exactly does it work? the same way it does here on earth? do we keep going until both or one partner is satisfied and what about sperm is it still a thing in heaven even though we don’t need procreation..
Hi Max,
Yes, it works the same way it does here on earth. As for the specifics, that’s up to each couple.
About sperm, and eggs, that’s a good question. There is no pregnancy from sexual intercourse in heaven. This wouldn’t give sperm and eggs much function. However, there are “spiritual conceptions,” which are new births of love and understanding. How this all works out in the physiology of our male and female spiritual bodies I don’t claim to know. Just another fascinating question for when we get there. But the closest earthly parallel is couples making love after the woman has gone through menopause.
in what way in sex in heaven is it not selfish tho? like for two to be compatible they must genuine love each other and what if God sees it as being selfish.. we just go along with our day in heaven shouldn’t we have to praise God worship? Isn’t sex being disrespectful to him in a way especially in his paradise? and well would it be possible to constantly want it and be tired? because well it basically says our resurrected bodies don’t get worn out or age etc so would we even get tired of it. It is kinda hard to understand the concept into seeing that sex isn’t necessarily bad even though growing up i’ve been told it’s naughty. so how does God see it without lusting do you just admit you love the person or does he see your intentions. I’m sorry for all these questions i ended up overwhelming and thinking it
Hi Max,
These are all good questions.
It is very sad and unfortunate that so many children are being brought up to believe that sex is “naughty,” dirty, and unspiritual. Of course, it can be if we have the wrong attitude toward it. But as the above article says, God created us male and female from the very beginning, and commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, which we do by having sex. If sex were dirty and unspiritual, why would the very first commandment God gave us be a commandment, in so many words, to have sex?
This makes no sense. Clearly, sex is something God purposely designed us for right from the beginning. It is not dirty or unspiritual. It is the fullest expression of the deepest and fullest love that is possible for two people to have for each other. It is the very opposite of naughty, dirty, and unspiritual. It is an expression of the deepest and most spiritual kind of love that God gave us, which is marriage love.
It is hard to overcome and set aside things that have been imprinted on our minds from childhood. That’s why it is so wrong to teach or suggest to children that sex is naughty and dirty. It does tremendous damage to people’s ability to have a good, happy, and healthy relationship and love life in adulthood.
So the first thing to do, as hard as it is, is to reject that wrong and damaging message about sex, and see sex as the beautiful expression of mutual love that God created it to be.
I could say more, but first, please read this article, which I think you will find helpful in sorting this issue out in you mind:
Two Kinds of Love, Two Kinds of Sex
I lost my husband in March after 53 years. I can hardly wait to meet the Lord and be with my husband. I have watched many video’s about being with the Lord and Family & friends. They talk about how beautiful it will be and how we will pray & eat altogether. There will not be any night only the Lord will provide all our light. There will be streets of gold everything will be beautiful. No where do they mention we will be intimate. So my question is if there is sex in heaven do they have rooms or do you do it wherever you please?
Hi Joanne,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question. I’m sorry to hear about the death of your husband. But 53 years together on this earth is something to celebrate!
The short answer is: Yes, you and your husband will be together again in heaven just as you were here on earth, only it will be much brighter and more blessed. And yes, you will make love just as you did here on earth, only even more blissful and exquisite, because you will be in your spiritual bodies, which are much more alive and sensitive than our physical bodies. See:
Is There Sex in Heaven?
Oh, and in heaven, you will grow young and healthy again, no matter how old you were when you died here on earth.
Contrary to popular belief, in heaven we don’t spend all our time praising and worshiping God in a vast, eternal cathedral. Yes, we do praise and worship God. But we also have a regular life just like here on earth, only better.
Among other things, in heaven we live in houses just like we do here on earth. Presumably, most of the time you will make love with your husband in your bedroom in heaven, just as you did here. But there is also plenty of wide open space in heaven for those who want to get away and have a more “natural” intimate experience. In heaven, the sky’s the limit!
Meanwhile, if you have any more thoughts or questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.
about this streets full
of “gold” and God being the “sun” are this metaphors or actual things that’ll happen. my thoughts was always like that in heaven it’ll be looking the same on earth with heaven having treat grass being able to look the same you know?
Hi LeeI am confused. I have listen to video’s one will say when we die our soul willgo to the Lord & we will be with him & family ect.. If so what kind of body do we have at that timeif any? We will get our spiritual bodies at resurrection.Another video saids our souls sleep until resurrection then we will rise with the Lord & come downwith him then the living that doesn’t stay down here will rise up with the Lord & that again is when weget our spiritual bodies.Which video is correct?
Hi Joanne,
It’s not surprising that you’re confused. There’s a whole lot of confusion out there about God, spirit, the Bible, and the afterlife. In the end, you’ll have to consider the different points of view, and decide for yourself which one you think is true.
One of the main things that will determine this is whether you think mostly literally and materialistically, or whether you are able to think spiritually. On that, you might want to read this article, about what Jesus meant when he said we must eat his flesh and drink his blood:
Eat My Flesh, Drink My Blood
People who can think only literally and materially (“fleshly” people in Bible terms) will read everything in the Bible literally. So they will believe in a literal future physical resurrection in which their bodies will rise out of their graves and be re-formed, and they’ll live in their physical bodies on a new version of this physical earth, forever. If they didn’t believe this, they would reject God and the Bible altogether, and would become atheists.
But people who can think spiritually will see that Jesus’ words are not meant to be taken literally, but spiritually. And they will see that we will not live forever in our physical body in the physical world, but that we will live forever in our spiritual body in the spiritual world. And that this will begin right after we die, not after some future Last Judgment and physical resurrection.
The problem is, if people think they’re going to live in the physical world in their resurrected physical bodies, then obviously it has to be some time in the future, because dead people are still dead in their graves now, and not (in their view) living forever yet. That’s why the Bible lets people think that there will be a future Last Judgment here on earth when everyone will rise from their graves.
But that’s not what is really going to happen. What’s really going to happen is that when you die, you will wake up in the spiritual world, in your spiritual body, and you will live forever there. It will look a lot like this world, but much more beautiful and much more responsive to your inner thoughts and feelings. Here are a couple of articles that explain these things in more detail:
Hi Max,
In the Bible, yes, those are metaphors, not meant to be taken literally. However, in the spiritual world, they might be seen visually also, because the spiritual world is a “world of metaphors,” or more accurately in Swedenborg’s wording, a world in which all outward things correspond to inward things.
God will indeed be seen as a sun by people in heaven not because God actually is a sun, but because the sun corresponds to and reflects God as the center of our “universe” (meaning our solar system), and the source of all (or at least nearly all) the light, heat, and gravity that powers it.
And there could well be streets of gold in heaven. But again, that would be because they reflect pathways of love that the human heart and mind take in heaven. “Gold” corresponds to love. See:
The Gold Standard
But for the most part, yes, heaven will look very much like this earth, complete with green grass, mountains, hills, rivers, and lakes, and all the other natural beauties and human constructions we see here on earth. That’s because all of these things correspond to thoughts and feelings within our hearts and minds.
so for heaven i saw a comment on yours talking about how you wouldn’t wanna live in a spiritual place where everything is given to you and where your body is limitless and yes that’s what i wouldn’t want as well just like when i go to the gym my body has fatigue and i wait about during sets to keep going but why do i do it? i love the exhaustion and seat showing how much you keep showing up mo matter how weak or strong you are you keep going.. so my question is will our bodies still have that? or would we just be disappointed and get a limitless body and having no fun in partaking in activities that would normally tire us and feel like there no goal? 😑
Hi Max,
I think it will be similar, except it will be like we’re all young and healthy rather than being old and worn out. People in heaven eat and sleep, which suggests to me that people get hungry and tired. That would mean they don’t have unlimited energy, but have the same cycles of activity, fatigue, hunger, and rest that we have here on earth. And I think angels will sweat when they engage in heavy exercise just as we do here.
hey lee so the difference between the christianity God to the God we actually know. would
he still erase our memories of our loved ones who didn’t make it?
Hi Max,
I don’t know what you mean by “the difference between the christianity God to the God we actually know.” But as far as our memories of loved ones who choose hell instead of heaven, it’s not that God erases our memory of them. It’s that our memory of them fades away over time because they’re not part of our life anymore. It’s sort of like families who have one sibling go bad and become a thief or a druggie or whatever, and who never shows up at family gatherings anymore. After a while, they don’t think about him all that much anymore because he’s not part of their ongoing life as a family anymore. They can think about him if they want to, but there’s not so much reason to think about him anymore.
for food you think we can eat anything we’d like or just fruits in heaven?
Hi Max,
I think people can eat what they want. When Swedenborg described a banquet in heaven, the food seemed to be similar to what people would have eaten in a European banquet of the day. At any rate, people in heaven are free, so they can do what they want to do, and eat what they want to eat.
wait Lee so when you said “At any rate, people in heaven are free, so they can do what they want to do, and eat what they want to eat” when you said specifically “do what they want to do” in this case back in Adam and Eve where they bith disobeyed God by being tempted and doing it can we “disobey” a choice and doing our own decision? or can we only do “good things” that are good to God.
Hi Max,
Here on earth, our life is about choosing what sort of person we want to be. Fundamentally, it’s about choosing whether we want to be good people or bad people. But it’s also about choosing what level of good or bad, what type of good or bad, and so on. This means that here on earth, we may change our mind. A good person may decide to be bad after all, and vice versa. Or a good person might do a bad thing, and then regret it and commit to not doing it anymore.
After die, when we are living in the spiritual world, that choice is already made, and it becomes permanent. People who decided to be good go to heaven, and people who decided to be evil go to hell. Each one lives the sort of life he or she chose, except in hell there are a lot of limitations due to the nature of evil, whereas in heaven there are no limitations on the good we can do, except in that we ourselves are limited, not infinite, beings.
If we are in heaven, we only do good things because we only want to do good things. And since God is the source of everything good, everything we do will be good to God. We are completely free, and since we only want to do good things, that is exactly what we do. Doing anything bad would feel horrible and painful, so we don’t do it.
can we even say no in heaven tho? to the things we wouldn’t wanna do or is there limits to it or is it generally just considered bad to say no and disobey and we have to be yes mans basically?
Hi Max,
Yes, of course we can say no. But in general, in heaven, we just don’t have any desire to do anything bad. Any remaining bad habits or attitudes that don’t match our true inner character, which is what Swedenborg calls our “ruling love”—the primary love that drives us—are melted away during our time in the “world of spirits,” where we first arrive after we die. By the time we get to heaven, our outer life and actions are completely seamless and in tune with our inner thoughts and desires, which are good, not bad.
At that point, we have no interest in “disobeying,” and God doesn’t tell us what to do anyway. We do what’s good and right because that’s what we enjoy doing, and we have nothing to prove.
Hey Lee
why is the most popular religion (christianity) tradition tell us that there isn’t sex? what if they’re wrong or this article is wrong? why do you argue against millions of christian’s upon this topic of there being sex.. if we’ve been told there isn’t and it isn’t needed so we’re perfected and we don’t need sex in heaven?
Hi Max,
The truth isn’t a democratic process. It isn’t decided by which religion is most popular.
Today’s Christianity went off the rails early on, and certainly by 325 AD, when it adopted the Trinity of Persons, which, stripped of all its fancy verbiage, is simple polytheism. Once it started worshiping three gods instead of one God, it was all downhill from there. Today, most of what it teaches is unbiblical and false.
But you’ll have to make up your own mind about this.
Do you really think God would give us this beautiful thing we know of as marriage and lovemaking, only to yank it away from us at death? That would be cruel, not loving. And the gods of traditional Christianity are not loving gods.
Who are these Gods that are not loving?
Hi Joanne,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question.
Primarily it is the father god of Nicene Christianity that is not loving. This god intends to send all humans to be tortured forever in hell, and is restrained from doing so only by seeing the son god, which is supposed to be the father god’s literal sun, being brutally tortured and murdered instead of the humans that the father god was going to kill and torture.
That is not a loving god. It is an insane and bloodthirsty god.
yeah your right that wouldn’t be a loving God and lovemaking you mean sex right? also so because of this article how can we be sure there even is like erections and pleasure in heaven like are you saying this because you for sure think so or know? because well wouldn’t God perfect us in heaven why exactly would we need that if we’re already giving what we want and transformed no? also what else is the christian’s make the bible else wrong about?
Hi Max,
Would you still feel like a man (or a boy, if you’re not yet a man) if you couldn’t get an erection? Yes, it’s a physical thing. But our body expresses our spirit. Men who cannot get erections are not happy men.
Why would there not be erections for men in heaven? Is there something inherently dirty and unspiritual about sex? This seems to be the attitude in traditional Christian circles.
But God created us male and female from the very beginning, before the Fall of Humankind. Sex was part of the Creation that God declared “very good” (Genesis 1:31). If God declared male and female very good, and commanded us to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28), who are we to say that sex is dirty and unspiritual?
The whole idea is just plain wrong. It is humans holding in contempt what God has blessed.
So yes, of course there is lovemaking (sex) in heaven. It is part of the very good Creation that God made right from the beginning.
As for other things traditional Christians get wrong, please see:
“Christian Beliefs” that the Bible Doesn’t Teach
None of the key teachings of traditional Nicene Christianity are taught anywhere in the Bible. They are all human inventions, many of which flatly contradict the Bible’s plain statements.
Hi LeeI have a question.You said on the 3rd stage of death our earthly memory of life will tend to fade.Parent/Child relationship will be the same at first on earth then will be replaced by Brother/Sisterrelationship because in Heaven God is the common parent of all people.So my question is how does husband & wife remain the same & still have marriage together, and not have our memory fade to Brother & Sister?
Hi Joanne,
It’s a reasonable question. The basic answer is that marriage is a peer-to-peer relationship, whereas the parent-child relationship is a hierarchical relationship in which one (the child) looks up to and is dependent upon the other (the parent), who has much more knowledge, experience, and power in comparison.
The task of parents is to raise their children to adulthood so that they can live a good and productive life as adults. But in heaven, everyone already is a full adult (except for children who have died and are growing up there). There is no need to be taken care of or guided by any parent figure other than God. Yes, there are teachers, preachers, and leaders, but they address their audiences or followers as self-responsible adults, not as dependent children.
Meanwhile, marriage, ideally, is a relationship of two equal adults based on mutual love and an inner connection of minds and hearts. Yes, not all marriages are based on equality, but they’re still based on the commitment of two consenting adults to each other.
In a nutshell, marriage doesn’t fade in heaven because it is an adult-to-adult relationship, whereas parent-child relationships fade because angels are no longer children, but full adults who no longer need human parents.
Lee i’m sorry if i can’t comment on here since this is off topic but i can’t seem to find an article about this. but i really love to listen to music not necessarily bad words but like rock preferably i love listening to it at the gym and i was wondering if it’s possible to keep that in heaven?
Hi Max,
I don’t have an article specifically about music here, which is why you couldn’t find it. However, I think people in heaven can listen to whatever kind of music they want to listen to. On that, you might find this comment and my reply interesting.
what about the emotions in heaven can they vary from all that we have on earth currently sad anger etc or in heaven would we only have basically all the positive emotions only? why remove all other besides the positive ones i mean i would still wanna be whole and choose from vary because that’s what makes us.. us being able to choose how you feel
Hi Max,
There won’t be as many reasons for negative emotions in heaven because the evil things and people that exist on earth don’t exist in heaven; they’re all in hell, where we don’t have to see or deal with them if we don’t want to.
Still, not even angels are perfect, and angels do sometimes have to deal with people in hell, if for no other reason than to keep them under control so that they don’t go completely out of bounds with their evil desires and behaviors. Even in heaven itself there can occasionally be reason for less positive emotions such as sadness and anger. And angels do have to deal with the evil side of life when their work involves evil spirits, or newly arrived spirits from earth who may either be bad people or have gone through bad things.
Even in heaven, we’re still fully human. We still have the full range of emotions available to us. There just won’t be as much reason for sadness or anger in heaven, so we won’t need those emotions there as much or as often as we do here.
Sadness and anger even in Heaven? Over an infinite amount of time (or some magical equivalent), that could add up to infinite sadness and anger by eternity, even if it is less frequent and intense than in the physical. So if I somehow wound up in New Church Heaven, I would have an eternity of bad moments here and there to look forward to? Great. Of course, hell is far worse.
Hi K,
Angels live in the moment. If they go through periods of sadness or anger, they don’t hold onto it and nurse it. They leave it behind, and live in the present moment’s happiness and joy.
Also, everything angels have is finite, not infinite. Only God is infinite.
By an infinite amount of time, people in the afterlife would have accumulated an eternity of experience though.
Hi K,
We do not experience “an infinite amount of time,” even in the afterlife. What we experience is eternal life, meaning life that continues forever. But no matter how long it goes on, it is still finite, not infinite. Even if an angel had lived the equivalent of a trillion trillion trillion earth years, that would still be a finite amount of “time,” and there would still be an infinite amount of “time” ahead of that angel, which the angel will never reach the end of or exhaust.
Regardless, angels do not dwell on past experiences of sadness or anger. It does not accumulate and overwhelm them. They leave it behind, and live in the present moment’s happiness and joy.
Besides, if you wanted to think of it materially (which is not a good idea), the times of sadness and anger would be so heavily outweighed by the times of happiness and joy that they would be like a flea on one side of a balance beam compared to a bar of gold on the other side of the balance beam. On balance, the anger and sadness would be insignificant compared to the happiness and joy.
To me, instead of that analogy with the gold bar and the flea, it is more more like a bird turd in a big bowl of ice cream. Unless angels in the New Church Heaven somehow gain the magical ability to be dulled to miserable moments, that is. But that is how it looks to me now.
Hi K,
You seem to be positing a body that has no ability to eliminate waste.
If a bird turd falls into our ice cream, we don’t eat it. Some people will throw away the whole bowl of ice cream, and scoop themselves up another. Others will just scoop out the part that has the turd in it, and eat the rest. Depends how . . . redneck they are. 😛
Just as we have the ability to filter bad stuff out of our food, and not eat it, so angels have the ability to set the negative moments of life aside, and not dwell on them.
At the risk of being an armchair psychologist, I would suggest that the reason everything looks so negative to you is that you don’t like your life very much, you’ve gotten yourself into a negative frame of mind, and you’re having a helluva hard time breaking out of it. If that’s the case, the solution is not to curse God and die. It’s to do the hard work of pulling yourself out of your sucky life.
No one ever said it’s going to be easy.
What do you think of https://www.patheos.com/blogs/fleshofmyflesh/2025/07/yes-there-is-sex-in-the-resurrection/?
Hi World Questioner,
Another interesting article. Thanks for the link. I agree with the author (Talley Cross) on the main issue: that sex continues in the resurrection. She uses some of the same arguments that I do in the above article and in my series about Jesus’ words about marrying in the resurrection (not “marriage in the resurrection”).
I agree with her point that the social and legal institution of marriage no longer exists in the afterlife.
I would quibble with her statement that this is the end of Levirate marriage. It’s not just the end of Levirate marriage. It’s the end of legal marriage.
I would also quibble with her statement that women were property. It’s a common idea in some circles, but it’s not accurate. There were people who were property: slaves. Women were not slaves, unless they were slaves. It would be more accurate to say that they were under the authority of their fathers, or their brothers in the absence of a father, and under the authority of their husbands once they married. A woman could actually own a slave. Sarah had a slave, and Rachel and Leah each had a slave. Women’s status was lower than that of men, but higher than that of slaves. Slaves can be bought and sold. Women could not. If a husband didn’t want his wife anymore, he didn’t sell her; he divorced her. Even the bride price was not a “purchase” in the usual sense. If it were, then a husband could sell his wife. But he couldn’t sell his wife.
Bottom line: women were not property in ancient Hebrew culture, unless they were actual slaves—which men could be, too.
But on the big picture, I think she’s right. Jesus is talking about marriage as the people of the time thought of it, and as most people throughout most history have thought of it: as a legal and social institution intended to safeguard property, inheritance, family lineage, and so on. She makes the same point that I do in my articles on the subject: if we live forever, and don’t die, none of these things are necessary. And that’s the situation in the afterlife. So marriage as we know it isn’t necessary.
She also makes a point that I haven’t talked about much when she says that Adam and Eve weren’t married in our sense of the word, yet they had sex and had children. Technically, even Swedenborg says that what happens in heaven is not marriage as we know it, and they aren’t called “husband” and “wife,” but words that mean “belonging to each other.” But in ordinary language, he still talks about marriage, husbands, and wives in heaven. Anyway, I think the author is right that what exists in heaven is more like what existed between Adam and Eve, or from a Swedenborgian perspective, what existed among the earliest spiritually aware people on earth. There was no marriage as we know it because it wasn’t necessary, but a man and a woman lived together as partners and as one “unit,” and they had sex and bore and raised children.
In another article she says that she thinks babies are born in the resurrection, but I don’t agree with her on that. Being an evangelical, she thinks that the resurrection will be here on earth, and that we’ll still be in a physical body. But being a Swedenborgian, I believe that the resurrection will be in the spiritual world, and we’ll be in our spiritual bodies. That’s not compatible with having babies, because babies must be born on earth so that they can develop into the people they will be in heaven (or hell if they so choose). So although I agree with the author that there is sex in the afterlife, I don’t agree that it leads to pregnancy and the bearing of children. However, it is fruitful spiritually.
I also agree with her view that being male and female without sex pretty much defeats the purpose of being male and female. Sure, there are psychological differences, such that men and women are complemented by each other’s presence and contributions. But on the pragmatic level, God made us male and female to “be fruitful and multiply,” and that means having sex. It would be very strange if the very first thing God commands us to do is also the first thing God takes away when we go to the next life. And I think she’s right that if we still have all our male and female equipment in the afterlife, but we are never allowed to use it, that would truly be hell.
I’ve commented on https://lifeafterministry.com/2023/09/no-marriages-in-heaven/ and linked them to one of your articles. What do you think of the article? Doesn’t seem to give much information. But read the comments, including some by an anonymous user.
Hi World Questioner,
It’s the usual misreading of Jesus’ words. Notice that the quotation cuts off right after Jesus’ words about not marrying or giving in marriage in the resurrection, and doesn’t include the rest of what he said.
Hi World Questioner,
Oh, and the idea that we will be married to Christ is a mistake. It is the church that is married to Christ, not individual Christians. I.e., Christ is married to the entire body of Christians, not to individual Christians.
It’s funny that women, especially, talk about being married to Christ, but then they get all huffy and offended when you “sexualize” it. Easy for them, because they’re female, and Christ is male. If they think there’s not a sexual element to their thoughts about being married to Christ, then they’re deceiving themselves. And that’s exactly why they get offended when you say anything that implies that it’s sexual. They’re deflecting and avoiding the obvious sexual implications of being individually married to Christ.
The whole thing is a great big can of worms. And the basic error is that we as individuals are married to Christ. We’re not, and the Bible never says that we are. Jesus calls us friends, not wives. And he says that we are right to call him “Master” (or “Teacher”) and “Lord” because that’s what he is. Our individual relationship with Christ is a combination of friendship and a master/servant or master/student or Lord/follower relationship. It is not a marital relationship.
Here’s the second article: https://cata-catr.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/CATReview-12.1-Giles-2.pdf
Hi World Questioner,
Thanks for the link to the second part of the Sarah Giles article about marriage in the resurrection. Of course, I agree with her overall conclusion that there is sex and marriage in the resurrection. But I think her specific arguments supporting that view are strained.
Her main argument seems to be that Jesus’ phrase “marry and given in marriage” is a reference to illicit marriages, and that his point was that there would be no illicit marriages in the resurrection, but only licit, as in lawful, marriages. She relies heavily on a perceived parallel to the book of Malachi, which uses the metaphor of illicit marriage to highlight Israel’s unfaithfulness to God.
I suppose it’s possible that there is some allusion to other negative uses of “marrying and being given in marriage” in the Bible, and that “the sons of this age” is also a reference to wicked, worldly people. But her “parallel passages” between Jesus’ answer to the Sadducees and the prophecies of Malachi seem strained. She seems to be trying to make Jesus’ words a restatement of Malachi, but she isn’t succeeding in my view.
Levirate marriage, which is what the Sadducees’ trick question was based on, was not considered illicit or unlawful. In fact, it was prescribed in the Law itself. And though Jesus does talk about “the sons of this age,” he doesn’t talk about a “wicked generation” or anything like that. And the strongest rebuke he gives to the Sadducees is that they do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. He does not here accuse them of wickedness, as he does elsewhere. In other words, there just isn’t any clear reference in his words about the resurrection to wickedness and illicit marriages.
About the closest it gets is Jesus speaking of “the sons of this age.” But in this instance I don’t think Jesus is referring to wicked people, but to worldly people. One does verge into the other, but not all worldly people are wicked. Many of them are just materialistically-minded, but still live good, decent lives of following the Ten Commandments in their behavior. What they wouldn’t have is a spiritual conception of marriage. Most likely, they would view marriage as a legal and social relationship and a means of having children to pass on their wisdom and their worldly goods to. This is precisely the kind of marriage that doesn’t exist in heaven.
Overall, I don’t think Giles has a very strong case that Jesus is referring to illicit marriages here. It seems much more likely that he is referring to worldly and unspiritual marriages, as covered in my articles on those passages. Levirate marriage is not unfaithful and illicit. But it is worldly and material-minded.
Giles does bring up some interesting points in her two-part article, but I don’t find her main arguments convincing.
Hi Lee, You said Spiritual marriage is eternal, but I don’t understand how that is eternal but when we die we will know our parents but that will gradually fade away. Then why doesn’t our spouse fade away? I have always been taught we are all God’s children already on earth. Joanne
Hi Joanne,
Don’t forget that God made us male and female from the beginning, and commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, and it says that a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. Spiritual marriage is a relationship created by God. It is God who brings together two people who belong together. Would God then tear them apart at death? I don’t think so! That would be cruel.
We may continue to know our parents, especially if we are close to them. It is the parent/child relationship that will fade away. In a thousand years, will it really matter who is the parent and who is the child? Everyone there is a grown adult. Eventually, our relationships with each other become like friendships, or like brothers and sisters.
Except with our husband or wife, of course, because the two have become one, just as God said. So they remain husband and wife forever.
Hi Lee, I have a very confusing question.When we die we get a spiritual body then after rapture we’ll get a physical body like Jesus.Like Jesus we will be able to enter a locked room.You say there is sex in heaven I don’t want another body entering in at that time.I can’t wait to meet the Lord Jesus & Heavenly Father & be with my husband, family & friends but I don’t want family & friends poof they are there during that time. Joanne
Hi Joanne,
My, my, you do have some worries! 😛
But that’s not going to happen.
First of all, you’ll be living in the spiritual world, in your spiritual body, not in a physical body. The Rapture is not a literal event. It’s something that happens in the spiritual world, and in our own spirit.
Second, Jesus is God. We’re not God, and we’re not going to be walking through any walls, either here or in heaven. Jesus’ body after the resurrection was a divine body. Our body after our resurrection is a spiritual body. God’s body is all-powerful. Ours isn’t, either here or in the spiritual world.
And third, walking in on you at that time would be rude. In heaven, people don’t do rude things like that.
It is possible to walk through a solid wall via quantum tunneling, but it is so astronomically unlikely that I doubt anyone has done it anytime in history, possibly throughout at least the entire observable universe.
Hi K,
Right. Practically speaking, it is impossible to walk through walls.
I also think that if denizens of an afterlife could teleport, they can somehow gather where it is not right to teleport (and evildoers would be prevented by the nature of the place).
Hi K,
One thing I didn’t mention in my reply to Joanne is the “auras” or “atmospheres” around people in the spiritual world. This is sort of like an energy field that surrounds people there and extends out from them, getting weaker and weaker the farther away it goes, sort of like gravity or an omni-directional radio signal. This field attracts people of similar mind and heart, and repels people of dissimilar mind and heart, especially if there is conflict and opposition between them.
This aura is why evildoers cannot enter heaven unless they are specially prepared and protected by God for some specific purpose. If they try to enter heaven on their own, the aura of heaven will hit them the moment they step over the threshold of heaven, so to speak. If they try to keep going, they will be wracked with pain and unable to breathe because their own aura is in complete opposition to and conflict with the aura of heaven. So they throw themselves back into their own hell, where they can breathe freely again.
To Joanne’s question, I think that a couple making love in heaven would be surrounded by an aura that would create a protective field around them. They are sharing something that can be shared only between the two of them. Anyone else who tried to approach—even another angel—would sense that field and not enter there, because it is not something that can enter into his or her own spirit. It is something uniquely shared by the couple making love.
What about People who never had a Partnet and never had Sex here on Earth, will they also have a Spulmate and experiance it?, will they also have Children they wanted to have?
Hi Paulina,
Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment and question. For the answer to your first question, please see:
Can you Fall in Love in Heaven if you Haven’t Found Someone on Earth?
Short answer: Yes, for those who long for a loving, faithful, monogamous relationship, but who are never able to achieve this here on earth, God will provide a partner in heaven. And as the above article says, this relationship will include sex. Otherwise it would not be complete.
The second question is more complicated. Children are born here on earth, not in heaven. Everyone starts out with a life on earth, which is necessary for us to develop into the person we will be in heaven (or in hell, if we make that choice). However, for those who want to raise children, that is very much possible in heaven, because all the babies and children who die here on earth need loving and wise parents in heaven to raise them to adulthood.
Are you Christian?, do you have a Proof?, Jesus said that we will not marry and the Church is also saying that we will not have any Relationship Husband or Children or Sex, and for me such Heaven is a living hell, the others hat it and I didn´t because I wanted to give it my Husband and it never came, I´m 40 years old and desperate, because I hear that I will only have the full Love of God, I hate it, the others will olso have it, I want the things that others have and I don´t accept it, its too painful, I want to have it, its Unjustice, its unfair, its like the God betrayed me and I now must Accept that the other hat it and I will never!, I don´t want the Love of God only, the others will have it too, I want the other things that I never had, I was so Angry that I ripped the Bible to pieces, I feld so Betrayed!!!
Hi Paulina,
I’m sorry to hear about your struggles and your loneliness, and I do understand. But the Church is wrong about this.
Jesus did not say there would be no relationships, husbands and wives, children, or sex in heaven. He said that people don’t get married and aren’t given in marriage in heaven—and he meant the kind of earthly, legal marriage that the Sadducees were talking about in their trick question. That sort of marriage doesn’t exist in heaven. People don’t get married there the way we do here on earth, with a marriage license and a legal contract and all that.
In heaven, marriage is simply two people joined together by God because their hearts and minds are one. This kind of spiritual marriage lasts forever, and couples in heaven do make love just as couples do on earth, only better. And if you don’t find anyone here on earth, God will give you a husband in heaven.
In addition to the article I linked for you before, here is another one that talks about what Jesus actually said:
Didn’t Jesus Say There’s No Marriage in Heaven?
And yes, I’m a Christian.
i’m just afraid I’m afraid that I won’t be able to do things. I love you know being able to go to the gym push myself every day with that fatigue in that pain. I love it, but it was probably stupid to ask. I did ask ChatGPT about it and they said that there won’t be any fatigue.. especially I love getting on the game with my friends online playing games with killing I never thought much of it like that as long as God knew I won’t do or try anything like that in real life.. and with the food I love obviously burgers, steak, pizza, etc. I’m afraid that I won’t have that in heaven or if it’s not even possible lastly music I love music, no matter where I’m at or my feeling this voice listening to music. I don’t know if you know the band the Smith they do cussing some of their songs, and I do listen to them and read the lyrics, but I don’t know if God really knows the intention of it. I thought it to me was the attention that matters most such as cussing and lying, you know they’re not necessarily bad but I always thought it was the way you use it what do you think?
Hi Max,
In general, people in heaven are free to do whatever they want to do. Since they’re in heaven, obviously they want to do good things, not bad things. Otherwise they’d be in hell, not in heaven.
Unlike here in the material world, people in the spiritual world aren’t a mixture of good and bad. Not that they’re perfect, or perfectly evil. But during our time in the world of spirits, where we go first after we die, if we’re good people the bad parts of us are pushed to the side before we go to heaven, and if we’re bad people the good parts of us are pushed to the side before we go to hell, so that we’re basically all good or all bad, and not a mix of good and bad the way most people are here.
As far as all the somewhat edgy stuff that you like to do, as you say, it’s the intention that counts the most. Whether we’ll still want to play shooter games and listen to music with “colorful” lyrics in heaven, I don’t know. Maybe we’ll get over the need for that, since everything will be good. But nobody is actually getting hurt when you play a shooter game, and assuming you’re not taking the name of the Lord in vain, swear words are just strong language. So I wouldn’t want to say it’s impossible for us to still do that stuff in heaven, though I think there won’t be as much interest in it among the people there.
As far as working up a sweat in the gym, I believe that will still be possible. We still have a body with all its parts, including sweat glands. I presume that our sweat glands still work there. So I don’t see any reason why we couldn’t still work out and work up a sweat if we want to. Personally, I plan to keep up with my cycling, and I’m looking forward to having a younger body to do it with.
As far as food, I think we can eat the food we enjoy. Even if it’s meat, no actual animal has to be killed to produce it, because the spiritual world works differently than the material world. Food can and does simply appear when needed. There doesn’t have to be a long, laborious process of producing and preparing it. Though if you enjoy preparing food, I’m sure that’s possible too. And I tend to think that tribal societies that engage in the hunt as part of their culture will still be able to do so. We’re still the same people in the spiritual world that we are in the material world.
But to the general principle, in heaven you can do whatever you want to do. There’s no one standing over you saying, “Sorry, you can’t do that.” In hell, yes, but not in heaven. But you will also be a fully mature grown adult. Some of the things you liked to do when young you might not be into anymore. But if you enjoy doing something, and it’s not hurting anyone, there’s no reason you can’t do it in heaven.
hmmm im more worried to not being able to listen to music than not being able to swear but thats because my whole life i’ve listened to it and we all have i love music and it’s something that makes me happy weather it’s during the game during work especially while working out so why wouldn’t God not allow that? 😦
so also if we’re all good and not any bad are we only limited to positive stuff and only to happiness? like i wanna happy robots in a way?
Hi Max
I don’t see why you won’t be able to listen to your favorite music. It’s not about what God does and doesn’t allow. It’s about what you as an angel will want to do. And if you still like that music, you’ll still be able to listen to it. The commandment doesn’t say “Thou shalt not swear.” It says, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.”
And we’re not “limited” to positive stuff. But why would you want negative stuff? Will you wake up one day and say, “Hmm, I think I’ll hit my toe with a hammer today!”? Angels do sometimes get a little depressed when they start thinking about themselves a little too much. But it doesn’t last long. So it’s not as though it’s not possible for anything negative to happen to us when we’re in heaven. But once again, why would you eat cardboard when you could be eating ice cream? God doesn’t have to tell you, “Don’t eat cardboard!” It’s just not as good as ice cream. 🙂
so in the afterlife is everything just perfect? no more from for growth or learning experiences? because learning often comes through struggle mistakes stuff like that and we grow by facing challenges making wrong choices and figuring it out afterwards.. is that no longer possible in heaven?
Hi Max,
Great question! And the answer is: No, everything is not perfect in heaven, and yes, we keep on facing challenges, not always making the best choice, and learning and growing from it. It’s all on a much higher level than here on earth. We don’t make really stupid and destructive choices and mistakes, because our heart is good, and we have a clear head. But even in heaven, we are not perfect, and never will be. We’re still the same person we were here on earth, but on a higher level, and with some of the rough edges worn off, especially over time.
what choices and mistakes would be considered “destructive”? and what do you mean as over time rough edges ware off?
Hi Max,
It’s not some arbitrary set of rules. It’s about whether it actually does serious harm. For example, someone in heaven is not going to say, “Hmm, I think I’ll try some heroin today.” And they’re not going to accidentally fire off a submachine gun in a crowded theater. These are extreme examples, but you get the idea. Someone in heaven—mostly in the lower levels—might say something stupid that annoys people, but s/he won’t start shouting insults at everyone. Someone might do something clumsy that causes another person to get a bump or a bruise, but s/he’s not gonna haul off and make mayhem like a bull in a china shop.