Can I Ask God to Extinguish My Consciousness?

We are created so that our inner self cannot die. We can believe in God and love God, which means we can have a relationship with God through faith and love. And having a relationship with God is living to eternity. (The New Jerusalem #223)

Okay, that answers the latest Spiritual Conundrum submitted to Spiritual Insights for Everyday Life before a reader named Lucas even had a chance to ask it! Here’s the short version:

Similar to others in this blog, I too detest the idea of reincarnation. However, where I differ from others is that my ideal wish, so to speak, is not heaven or an afterlife, but permanent cessation of consciousness, annihilation of my being.

I’ll post Lucas’s full spiritual conundrum in a moment.

But the short, no-beating-around-the-bush answer is: I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to keep on living to eternity. Once a human consciousness is created, it can never be extinguished. That’s because, as Emanuel Swedenborg (1688–1772) says, our human consciousness can form a relationship with God. And since God is eternal, any conscious relationship with God is also eternal.

What if we decide to reject God and reject any relationship with God. Then can our consciousness cease?

Sorry, but the answer is still “No.” Since we have the capability of having a relationship with God, that puts us in the “eternal” category even if we choose not to exercise that capability. Besides, even people who reject God still have a relationship with God. It’s just a bad relationship with God.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is that eternity is a lot better than you think! It’s not “living forever” in an earthly, timebound sense. In fact, angels and spirits don’t even know what time is. Though we loosely say that we “live forever,” really, in the other world we live in an eternal now, just as animals do here on earth.

Can I ask God to extinguish my consciousness?

Here is Lucas’s full spiritual conundrum, slightly edited for publication:

Hello Lee,

I have been reading about Swedenborg recently and have enjoyed your posts. However, I do have a few questions if you don’t mind me asking.

Similar to others in this blog, I too detest the idea of reincarnation. However, where I differ from others is that my ideal wish, so to speak, is not heaven or an afterlife, but permanent cessation of consciousness, annihilation of my being. Let me explain.

I read that you and Swedenborg state how animal consciousness can cease to exist. However, human consciousness or spirits can never be extinguished, even if they wished to be extinguished. I have read how the afterlife, specifically the three layers of Heaven, all involve things that can be done on Earth and much more, but on a different spiritual level altogether. You can talk with loved ones, read books, play sports, etc., and even never be bored. But even with all of this available, I still much prefer oblivion or eternal sleep.

The reason is that this isn’t the afterlife I envision, and my greatest hope would be to experience the things I did before I was born, which is to say, nothing. Do you think it would be possible to ask God to do this? I believe that if He truly is all-loving and all-powerful He would grant this since no one is being harmed, while it would also have to be a painless extinguishing to avoid any suffering on my part.

What do you think? I find both reincarnation and an eternal afterlife, even in the bliss of the upmost Heavens, terribly depressing, and Hell would obviously be depressing as well.

Thank you so much.

Thanks for your question, Lucas. Believe it or not you don’t “differ from others” as much as you might think. This is not the first time I’ve had someone tell me that instead of the afterlife, he would prefer just to have his life come to an end in nothingness.

Buuuut . . . let me get this straight:

1. You know that heaven is full of bliss and doing everything you love to do, and you still don’t want it?
2. You’ve never experienced nothingness or the afterlife, but you’re pretty sure you know which one you prefer?

Okay, I’m chuckling a bit right now. And I think God is, too.

And by the way, even if God POOFed you out of existence in excruciating pain, it wouldn’t mean anything, because you wouldn’t be around to remember the pain. So . . . why are you worried that the POOF might be painful?

Why do people want nothingness?

I must confess, it’s a bit of a mystery to me why ordinary, non-suicidal people would want to have their existence snuffed out in the end. That is, unless their current life is either really terrible or terribly boring. And if it’s either of those, then a) I’m very sorry to hear it, and b) Maybe it’s time to do something about that!

But I’m a theologian, not an armchair psychologist. So I’ll leave you, dear reader contemplating the wonders of eternal nothingness, to face your own issues, and make your own decision to do something better with your life.

Of course, another reason many people want nothingness instead of the afterlife is that they’ve had their head crammed full of all kinds of ridiculous and horrible ideas about what the afterlife is like. If heaven were spending eternity in a massive church service, I wouldn’t want to go there, either. And I’m a minister! And if hell were endlessly turning on a hot spit over crackling flames like a human shish-kebab, I certainly wouldn’t want to go there!

Fortunately, neither of those things is true. If you want to get some idea of what heaven and hell are really like, here are a couple articles for you:

• Who Are the Angels and How Do They Live?
• Is There Really a Hell? What is it Like?

As far as that eternal church service—and various other silly ideas people have about heaven—Swedenborg tells some very funny stories about people getting the chance to try out their idea of heaven in the afterlife . . . and HATING it! The whole story is long, but if you’re curious, you can read it for yourself starting at Marriage Love #1 or True Christianity #731.

Suffice it to say, heaven is not only better than you’ve heard, but better than you can even imagine. And though hell does kind of suck, the people who live there (by their own choice, mind you!) still get to have some pleasure in their lives.

Heaven is not “living forever”

Because we live in the material world, within the arrow of time, and we have a hard time not thinking in terms of time and space, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that heaven is kind of like earth, except it never ends. It’s easy to think that in heaven, time just keeps stretching out in front of you forever, until you’ve done everything you could possibly do, and you’re totally bored.

But I’m here to tell you that there is no time in heaven, or in hell. And there’s no space, either.

Yes, things do happen one after another. And yes, we do see people and things around us either near or far. And yet, time and space do not exist in heaven. So much so that angels and spirits do not even know what time and space are. They have absolutely no experience of them.

You see, in the spiritual world:

1. “Time” is “measured” by how much we learn and grow in our mind.
2. “Space” is “measured” by how close we are to people in our heart.

I know this can be a little hard to grasp. But think of what you were like, say, ten or twenty years ago, and think of what you’re like now. In one way, you’re still the same old you. But in another way, you’re a very different person because you’ve learned and grown and experienced a lot more things since then, and they have all become a part of who you are.

And think of the person sitting next to you that you have nothing in common with. Then think of a person who lives halfway across the world whom you love and feel a real connection to. Which person are you closer to? In material terms, you’re closer to the one sitting next to you. But in spiritual terms, you’re closer to the one halfway across the world.

This gives some idea of how “time” and “space” work in heaven. I put them in quotes because time and space as we know them simply do not exist in the spiritual world. They are properties of the material universe, as current science also informs us.

This means that in heaven or in hell, we do not “live forever” in the usual sense, because there is no time in the spiritual world.

Heaven is an eternal now

Because there is no time in heaven, angels and spirits don’t experience life the way we do here on earth. They don’t live in the past or the future as we so often do. They don’t think back on better times in the past, wishing they were still there. They don’t long for the future, when they hope things will be better than they are now.

No, angels and spirits are always living in the present moment—and experiencing it fully.

They’re like animals in that way. Animals don’t think about the past or worry about the future. They simply live in the present moment. Yes, their past experiences are a part of them, and shape their character and responses. But for animals, there is only now.

Babies and small children are the same way. They’re not thinking about the past or the future. They’re experiencing whatever they’re experiencing right now, good or bad. Tell a two-year-old that he or she can have ice cream tomorrow, not right now, and you’re in for an emotional storm! For the toddler set, there’s no such thing as “tomorrow.”

Unlike animals, angels do have a conscious memory of the past, and a sense of the future. But that’s not where they live. They live in the present, with no regrets about the past and no fears about the future. God is always taking care of all their needs, so they don’t have to worry about anything. They can simply live in the moment, doing whatever it is they most want to do at that present moment.

That doesn’t mean they’re heedless, aimless, and feckless beings. In fact, they have far more focus and effectiveness than anyone who is still living on earth. They make plans and carry them out just as we do. But even when they’re making plans, they’re still living in the present and experiencing and enjoying the present moment. Making plans can be just as fun as carrying out the plans.

For angels, it’s all about the thing they’re thinking about and doing right now. In fact, that’s one of the reasons they’re so happy and so powerful. All of their being and all of their powers are focused on doing what they’re doing in the present moment.

Before you even think you have some idea of what heaven is like, you have to completely get rid of all ideas of time and space from your head. And if you can’t do that (I can’t!), then you really have no idea what heaven or hell is like, and you have no basis on which to think that you don’t want it. It’s like saying you don’t like ice cream when you’ve never even had ice cream.

God sees our whole life and future

Of course, you could walk up to God and ask God to POOF you out of existence. Anyone can ask God for anything.

But God doesn’t do what we think is best. God does what God knows is best. And if God had intended to POOF any of us out of existence in the future, God would not have created us in the first place. God doesn’t do something, and then all of a sudden say, “Oops! That was a mistake!” (Yes, I know the Bible pictures God doing that sort of thing. That’s because the Bible talks to us in terms that we small-brained humans can understand. That’s not how God really is!)

First of all, by the time you get to the spiritual world, and get yourself oriented and set up enough that you could actually go about the business of seeking out God to ask that question, you would have already experienced the spiritual world for yourself. Most likely, you would already have ditched the idea of attempting to eternally off yourself.

But even if you did manage to hang onto that desire long enough to go ask God, I know very well what the answer would be: A big, fat “NO!” Not because God couldn’t POOF you out of existence. But because unlike you, God sees all the great times you’re going to have to eternity, and God is not going to rob you of all that.

If a teenage boy went to his father and said, “Dad, I’m thinking of killing myself,” would his father say, “Sure, son, go ahead and do it! Or here, I’ve got a gun, I’ll kill you myself!” Of course not! The boy’s father has been through those rough patches. He knows what it’s like. And he knows that there’s life on the other side. He’ll do whatever he can to help his son through it and get him out the other side, too. Why? Because he loves his son and wants him to experience what it’s like to live a good and satisfying adult life. Plus, he sees his son’s character and skills and talents and potential, and he doesn’t want all that potential to go to waste.

We are all God’s children

That’s how God feels toward us. In God’s eyes, we’re all little boys and girls running around thinking we know what we want, but really having no idea. God wouldn’t say “No” to that request because God is stubborn and won’t listen to us. God would say “No” because God sees all the wonderful times we’re going to have, and God wants us to experience them.

And of course, God loves us far more than any human fathers and mothers have ever loved their children. God created each one of us for a reason. That’s why Jesus tells us, “It is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost” (Matthew 18:14).

Of course, if we choose hell, we’re sort of lost. But even in hell, God arranges for us to have as much pleasure and satisfaction as is possible, given that our selfish and greedy desires are self-limiting and self-punishing. And for most people in hell, everyday life is not as different from earthly life as people think. They go about their day doing this or that, and they live lives that to them seem very normal. Even in hell, people aren’t wishing for oblivion. Even in hell, people have things to live for.

And if we choose heaven? Then there is more in store for us than we can possibly imagine. That’s why Paul, quoting from Isaiah 64:4, talks about:

What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived—
the things God has prepared for those who love him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

We may think we know what’s in store for us in the afterlife. Some of us may think wo don’t want it. But God knows what’s in store for us, and God knows that we want it.

That’s why, if you did stroll up to God one day and say, “Hey God, would you please POOF me out of existence?” God would not snap those divine fingers with a devilish grin and go POOF!

Right from the source

I started this post with a short quote from Swedenborg. I’ll end it with a long one that lays it all out. I’ve left out a couple parts. If you want to read the whole thing, just click on the link at the end. Here it is:

As for the fact that after life in the physical world everyone goes on living to eternity, this follows from the fact that we are then spiritual and no longer earthly, and that the spiritual self separated from the earthly retains its essential nature to eternity because our state cannot be changed after death.

Further, everyone’s spiritual self is joined to the Divine, since it can think about the Divine, and can also love the Divine and be drawn to everything that comes from the Divine, such as the teachings of the church. This means it can be united to the Divine in its thinking and willing, and these two abilities are the spiritual self and constitute its life. Anything that can be joined to the Divine in this way cannot ever die, because the Divine is present with it and joins it to itself. . . .

I have often talked with angels about this, and they have been amazed that if you look at the people in the Christian world who are called intelligent and whom others believe actually are intelligent, you find many who have completely discarded from their faith any idea of immortality in regard to their own life. They believe that the human soul dissipates at death just like the soul of an animal. They do not see any difference between the life in humans and the life in animals, namely, that we are able to think of things beyond ourselves such as God, heaven, love, faith, what is spiritually and morally good, what is true, and the like, and in so doing be raised up toward the Divine itself and be joined to it by all these means. Animals, on the other hand, cannot be raised above their own earthly nature to think about things like this, so their spiritual nature cannot be separated from their earthly nature after death and live on its own the way our spiritual self can. This is why an animal’s life is dissipated when its earthly life is over. . . .

Angels have also said that there is within every human an innermost or highest level of life—or an innermost and highest something—where the divine nature of the Lord flows in first and most intimately. From this highest point the Lord arranges the other things within us that make up our spiritual and earthly selves, descending level by level in accord with the way we are designed. The angels called this innermost or highest something the Lord’s gateway to us and his quintessential dwelling within us. They also said that this innermost or highest something is what makes us human and distinguishes us from mere animals, which do not have it, and that this is why we, unlike animals, can have our inner levels—our higher and lower mind—raised by the Lord to himself. This allows us to believe in him, be moved with love for him, and be granted intelligence and wisdom and the ability to speak on the basis of reason.

Asked whether people live forever if they deny the Divine and reject divine truths, which are the means by which our lives are united to the Divine, the angels said that such people, just like those who acknowledge the Divine, retain the ability to think and intend and therefore to believe and love the kinds of things that come from the Divine; and that this is the ability that makes it possible for them to live to eternity like everyone else. The angels added that this ability comes to people from that aforementioned innermost or highest something that everyone has. They gave extensive evidence that even the people in hell have this ability, and that it is the source of their ability to argue and speak against divine truths. That is why everyone, regardless of what they are like, lives to eternity.

Since everyone lives forever after death, no angel—no spirit, even—has any thought whatever about death. They do not even know what dying is. So when “death” is mentioned in the Word, angels take it to mean either damnation, which is spiritual death, or else ongoing life and resurrection.

All this has been said to make the point that all humans without exception who have been born and have died since the beginning of creation are alive—some in heaven and some in hell. (The Last Judgment #25)

This article is a response to a spiritual conundrum submitted by a reader.

For further reading:

• What Happens To Us When We Die?
• Who Are the Angels and How Do They Live?
• Is There Really a Hell? What is it Like?
• Will We See our Pets Again in Heaven?
• Is Heaven Physical? Can Angels Play Tennis?